Sometimes…..

sometimes we get so caught up in the drama and speed of our lives that we don’t remember, realize, recall just how lucky we are and how much we are loved, as well as, our capacity to spread our love around.

We spent a long weekend “back home” in Iowa.  My heart was beating out of my chest Friday watching our youngest daughter as she worked with deaf kids participating in Iowa Baseball Camp for the deaf.  Several players for the Iowa Cubs along with volunteer leaders and interpreters worked with the kids all week which culminated in the Friday morning game played on the field.  The pure joy on the faces of the kids as they hit balls and ran the bases and watching the pure joy of the adult staff feeling the feels from the kids was a warm fuzzy!

Today, I spent the day with old friends and their family (because of who they are and how they love actually feels like my family)!  We were there to celebrate the 25 th wedding anniversary of Mark and Denise…..Denise wearing black shirt.

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The four of us are seldom all together but when we are, we fall back into rhythm and finish sentences we started last time we were together!  I also snapped pics from their video of He and I at the wedding 25 years ago.

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I’m proud to say I’m the one wearing the green dress with the large white bow in my hair 👀….. which begs an answer to the question…why did we wear big bows in our hair?

I am blessed, I am loved and I love!

until next time….

The silverware of our lives

As an only child and only niece … actually the only child born to two sisters from the teens of the 1900s…. I inherited everything. Almost 9 years since my mother and aunt passed, I’m still sorting and sorting, storing and donating and then doing it all again the next time I start feeling overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I have. Today, I went through silverware…some of it I grew up with either at home or my aunts….and I’m sure most of it was handed down from their childhood….and I have a set of silverware from his mother….and I have silverware that I actually purchased for us that my kids grew up with. That paragraph does not EVEN include the good silverware that I keep in velvet lined boxes and bring out for large family meals. Ya. I still do that. Setting a beautiful table is part of my DNA.

Going through all of the silverware today….hahaha….pictures to follow. I remembered this pattern and that pattern used during my life. My heart felt especially warm when I found the old ice tea spoons that we used for years before we got the new ice tea spoons. The new ones are at least 40 years old.

Here we go:

Just the serving spoons I continue to keep

The daily silverware that goes back in the silverware drawer…

The collection still laying on the bedroom floor

And the forks I bought at Goodwill one year….there used to be 4. These are mine…everyone knows it.

And for some reason that spoon is my favorite. No idea where it came from. Kind of the bastard spoon. It’s always the one I use if it isn’t dirty.

Just a glimpse into who I am.

Until next time….

The Wonder on his face

We spent New Year’s Eve with JJJJ tonight. After a great meal, we played some games then turned on CNN to watch Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper bring in the New Year in New York. Jenny and Justin had talked to Jax about what we were going to watch and what it meant….conceptually, I don’t know what he understood…but watching his little face when the ball dropped brought me so much joy. It was The wonder on his face as he was mesmerized by what he was watching on TV and when we all said Happy New Year and the joy when his dad gave him a hug and held him while singing New York, New York and finally the hug he gave grandma and papa when we left….the hug reserved for only special times….wonder…“a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.”

The experience filled me with love and hope for my grandchildren and for all of us in 2018!

Happy New Year!

One time he screwed up the pumpkin pie

…..and since then, his pies have been coveted by the family for the pumpkin pie holidays. It was simply the difference between evaporated milk and sweetened condensed milk. This year he added to the pie count with a butterscotch with meringue.

Delicious…and I’m not terribly embarrassed to say I ate one full size slice of each in one sitting.

We had the family for Christmas Eve Day Bunch and gift opening on Sunday and the second head cold of the month finally wore me down Sunday night so I didn’t go to the Brown/Faircloth/Callaghan Dinner on Christmas Day and while it just seems like a total bummer to be alone on Christmas, it was a little lonely with a slice of depressing, but doable. I ate brunch leftovers and watched movies for several hours. Remembering with gratitude all of the Christmases before helped me to remain positive seasoned with thankfulness!

Onward and Upward!

Until next time!

Being a gramma has helped me work through some guilt

I’m one of those lucky grammas….retired, I live close to my grandkids and get to spend quality time with them several days a week…and through the 4 year old, I’m opening myself up to life..love…acceptance…joy and sadness for what it is…right now…it is what is happening right now at this moment. There is no perfection in crafts, there is no horror about a little paint on the table, there is no hurry, there are no rules.. it just is what it is!

During my child raising years, I turned inward with guilt because I wasn’t building ginger bread houses out of graham crackers, I wasn’t playing Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, and while I was helping force a Barbie leg into a Barbie outfit, I was not engaged in child’s play very often……that’s not to say never. But my girls and I, as children, had Aunt Frances. she was childless and never too tired to play a game, teach us to knit, take us to movies and just mindlessly play with us. We didn’t appreciate it at the time….and these memories are hitting me today because I feel the annual Christmas cry burning my nose.

Parents just don’t have time to be a co sibling or an Aunt Frances no matter what TV or internet posts tell you. Parents are working outside the home, worrying about the money, cooking, cleaning, attending school events, doing laundry, trying desperately to share adult time with their partner and just trying to be an adult. I’ve heard so many times that we wish we would have had our grandchildren first…I understand this. What a joy to see life through my grandchildren’s eyes. To live simply and to love until your heart bursts.

Until next time….

One of those Moments..

I remember when my girls were in preschool….Lollipop Lane…Grandparents were invited around Thanksgiving for a special day.  My girls were lucky to live in the same town as both sets of grandparents so were accompanied by Gmas and Gpas Brown and Green.  After these pre-Thanksgiving events, the girls would come home with Reindeer made out of clothespins made by the Grandparents and themselves.  The same grandparents day craft event…. 6 years apart.  I put all of those reindeer clothespins on the Christmas Trees for many years even after they were adults.  I wasn’t even part of the craftmaking but these Christmas ornaments probably meant more to me than they  did to the girls.

I received a Text message from Jenny tonight confirming Papa and Grandma were attending Grandparent Day at Preschool later this month.  I, seriously, had a couple tears slide down my cheeks.  I’m a Grandma.  Back in the day, I really never considered the possibility that I would one day be old enough let alone actually have grandchildren.  I’m ecstatic about going with Jax to preschool.  An old-age rite of passage, so to speak!

Until next time….