Monthly Archives: April 2015

04.29.15
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This is the kind of week I hope for all year…I don’t want to waste it!

It’s cool in the shade.  The sky is a brilliant blue.  The lawn is dappled with the sun shining thru the leaves of the trees.  The sun warms the skin.  it’s not too hot or too cold.  Humidity is low.  You might need a sweatshirt in the evening.  It’s perfect.  ……and the whole week is supposed to be this way!

We don’t normally see Jaxon on Tuesday but Jenny came out with him yesterday morning and worked from our computer room because Justin is doing some remodeling on their house.

We took walks, we played outside, we hung out at the bridge.  It was a perfect day.  We couldn’t remember the rhyme for the troll under the bridge.  Can anyone help?  Fortunately, this no longer has to be a brain squeezer, I can just google it.  Remember the “olden” days when we couldn’t remember something and had to call friend after friend until someone could remember the name of the song or what were the real words to Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann…now it is at the tip of our fingers.

Here’s some pics of our day.  More pictures of Jaxon.  I’m a Grandma aka Nina…I have no idea how anyone could tire of seeing pictures of my grandson 🙂  Spring has sprung!

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Until next time….

04.27.15
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Are people just not curious or do they just not care?

I had a dream last night that I inadvertently ran into a group of girls I went to high school with…they were all friends with each other – I was on the fringe..we went to a mall of restaurants.  The old friend that i probably knew the best seemed to want to catch up with me so we sat down at a table and talked…the rest of the group went somewhere else.  When she and I decided we needed to find the group, we searched each little cubbyhole of restaurants and finally found two of them walking hand in hand toward the bathroom and were directed to where the group was sitting.  Upon taking my seat, I suggested that we go around the table and introduce ourselves and briefly talk about our lives after high school.  They told me to go first.  Everyone seemed to listen..one person questioned why I thought it was important to tell how old my girls were because they were obviously older than the last time we had seen each other.  When I was through, everyone went back to talking about “things” and no one else shared about their history.

Which leads me into:

I’m a curious sort…old friends, new friends…I want to connect and know about them.  I ask questions because I want to know what makes them tick, what they think, what their life has been like, do we have things in common, do we have friends in common with 6 degrees of separation.  I don’t really like small talk.  If we are going to talk, I want to talk about things that matter.

At one time in my life, I was part of a group of people who would naturally seem like they would care about me.  I can remember sitting around and listening to story after story from a couple of them about their lives, their jobs, the people they work with, every mundane thing that occurred during their week.  No one really asked questions.  Everyone just sat around and listened.  I attempted to ask questions every now and then to show an interest but they didn’t seem to need to know I was interested so I retreated.  I couldn’t figure out why no one ever asked me a question…not about my opinion but asked me questions to get to know me.  Even questions about my job as a 911 dispatcher.  I, obviously, had the most exciting job of all of them and no one cared enough to even say…what was your most interesting call, what was your hardest call or basically – what is it that you do?  I’ve worked through the bitter ballerina phase although occasionally it rears its ugly head.

Am I just overly curious about people….or do people just not care about other people.  I’m not sure why it just doesn’t seem important to others to make a connection with  other people?  Am I wrong?  or is it just me?

Until next time…..

04.25.15
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Losing a picc line

CT scan Wednesday was the best one yet…diverticulitis has cleared – lets get that picc line out and schedule the kidney surgery!  June 9th has been penciled in for the removal of the left kidney.  When cancer has invaded your body and hangs there in the back of your mind, it seems like a long time to wait…but the scheduler assured me that kidney cancer is a slow grower…I hope she’s right.  Keeping that in mind, since March 9th, I’ve been asking the question…so at what point is the cancer contained and not spread and no longer contained and spread.  No one seems to be able to answer that…so I’m putting my life in the hands of professionals who believe that waiting 6 weeks to take it out won’t have a negative effect on my life.

The picc line removal was about as exciting as having a regular IV removed.  My nurse, Angie, obviously didn’t know that I was a goul and liked to watch medical procedures up close and personal so she told me to look away while she pulled it out…bummer.  Reminded me of how Jenny distracts Jaxon when she’s putting syrup on her pancakes…look over there, Jax.

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Just for the record, I’m officially old.  1 tsp every morning.

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I have an issue with my left upper back teeth so I’m having to go for a cleaning every 3 months this year…ya…nothing says old like the sound of a cleaning instrument!

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This tree is outside my bedroom window.  I love it…I’ve always wanted to have one of these trees in my yard.

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The one thing that is going to keep me young…here we are paying the game…Nina…and I turn around and he giggles.

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and the best part of last night – we finally made it back to Ice House Auction after being gone for almost 2 months.

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Until next time….

04.19.15
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The simple fact – rainy days depress me

Always have – probably always will.  I have several friends – one of which I’m married to – who say…ahhhh I love rain.  I love a rainy day…Oh, I like to drive in the rain…there is nothing better than sleeping on a rainy day.  I have a people pleaser face and am able to disguise my total contempt!

It’s gloomy, its cold, it’s wet, its just depressing.  Last night’s rain knocked all the blooms off the cherry trees

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It looks like snow.  It just totally irritates me.

04.15.15
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I thought I would be called Grandma….

I didn’t even really think about what my grandson was going to call me…I just assumed Grandma…that’s what I called mine and that is what my girls called theirs.  Brenda aka Granny brought it up when Jenny was pregnant.  She said she really wanted to be called Granny because of the previous Grannys in her family.    I still just figured Grandma although I thought about Nana..I think Nana is sweet and it is so close to Nina that I thought that might work.  My nephew Sean was able to say Nina very early on and it always made me smile.  Jax has decided on Nina, apparently.

We spent a good bit of time outside today…he loves standing and stomping and exploring from the wood bridge over the spillway for our little pond.  We also visited the cherry trees:

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and I decided to show him how to blow dandelion seeds into the air…he hasn’t perfected blowing straight out so out of frustration he would throw it over the bridge and have Nina pick another one.

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and, of course, the strange cat picture of the day…..

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Life is good.

Until next time….

04.14.15
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I’m feeling it…

I took 3 walks today…not long ones…just long enough..I wanted to be out there moving, feeling the sun, feeling the breeze, feeling alive…just feeling!

Neighbor, Robbien came home with handfuls of lilacs today and she remembered me…Robbien…if you are reading this, I hope you know how much happiness you deliver!

Exactly catty-corner across the pond is a cluster of trees…not sure what the are…maybe some type of cherry.  The scent is overwhelming.

  

  

I hung out with the trees to take in the beauty and the scent because I know it won’t be long before the flowers drop.

I’ve been noticing beautiful ornamental trees….some just seem to go with their houses…like this one..

Did they seriously know how pretty those pink buds were going to look against that gray siding when they planted it?

Last week we bought a globe lilac tree for beside our house.  He pulled out a bunch of old bushes by their leggy branches,

It’s planted right outside the window of the purple bedroom.  Looks like it will be in full bloom in the next couple of days…I’m seriously thinking about sleeping in the purple room with the window open so I don’t waste any of the lilac scent…..and I’m thinking the purple paint can only enhance the experience!

Until next time….

04.13.15
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It was a really pleasant Monday….

Angie – “my” nurse from Dr B’s office was my first conversation this morning – she called to tell me my blood tests from Friday all look excellent.  I’m actually feeling a little depressed and nauseated tonight and I know it is all mental.  I feel like I’m coming to the end of this diverticulitis run and may be getting closer to getting this left kidney out of me.  Jenny and I were reading about kidney cancer the other day and apparently there is a 10 – 12 percent chance that a kidney mass as big as mine may not be malignant once they get in there.  That’s like 10 people in a room with kidney cancer – one of them may end up being benign.  I’m going to kind of hold onto those statistics until I know something definite!

Had lunch with Mike and Kim at Cracker Barrel in Liberty…they were traveling through from their visit with Amber and family in Oklahoma City.  It was a totally relaxing visit…and you can’t beat relaxing, loving people!

Yesterday afternoon, he brought a sheet in from the garage, a little planer (I think that is what it is) and 3 sticks, planted himself on the coffee table.

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What are ya doin?

Jaxon was out today.  Nails were pulling up on the decking…between the 3 of us – we got them hammered back down.

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Until next time….

04.12.15
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The real reason that we should not worry about tomorrow….

It’s been a long process from the days when I panicked because I didn’t have something on my mind to worry about – to where I’m starting to find some peace…the kind of peace that begins the day with It’s a beautiful day, what am I going to enjoy today.  Okay…that may be a little too pollyanna for those of you who really know me…but suffice it to say, I’ve come a long way.

When I retired back in February of 2014, I wasn’t the least bit concerned that my health insurance coverage was pretty much only going to pay the best using Iowa Providers…I was healthy…I weighed a ton too much but I knew that was a problem I was going to solve.  Now his health insurance worried me.  Also Iowa provider based but I was able to up his coverage thru Wellmark, pay a little bit out of pocket and he would have some reasonably good coverage down here…I mean seriously…he was only a 1/4 ton overweight but he did have some health issues.

Damn….I had that all backwards and seriously had a lot to worry about, I just didn’t know it.  Proving the point that it does no good to worry and if you are a worrier…you are no doubt worrying about the wrong thing.

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I threw in this picture because all the crap I’ve been through in the last month…this one made me feel the oldest.  I have taken my share of falls in the past – not medically related…but when the hospital who doesn’t know your history slaps one of these on your wrist the day you turn 59, ugh.  Just the frosting on the cake for you have an abscessed diverticulitis and kidney cancer.

As of this week, I’m starting on my third week of iv antibiotics…the abscess is improved but not quite gone yet.  Infectious disease doctor is hoping to talk to the urologist in Des Moines sometime this week and assist in getting a plan to finally cut out this left kidney.  That is good news.  This diverticulitis treatment is depressing because it seems to be never ending.  The pain isn’t so bad now…in fact it is very mild intermittent pain.  The antibiotic is very strong and not conducive to an active life.  I have a few good hours in me.  I infuse my self every evening through a picc line in my left arm.

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It is a totally amazing little system

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The party ball (of which it has been affectionally named) is pressurized – I attach it and 35 minutes later, I flush with saline – shoot up a heparin lock and wait to feel groggy.

I’m very fortunate.  Doctors think my cancer is still contained within the membrane of the kidney.  I have an amazing man who waits on me hand and foot – my girls attempt to keeping me laughing with the weird humor they learned from he and me and I have my good friends who check in on me when i’ve been quiet for awhile.

It’s pretty cloudy here today, I’m going to enjoy it.

Until next time…..