The real reason that we should not worry about tomorrow….

It’s been a long process from the days when I panicked because I didn’t have something on my mind to worry about – to where I’m starting to find some peace…the kind of peace that begins the day with It’s a beautiful day, what am I going to enjoy today.  Okay…that may be a little too pollyanna for those of you who really know me…but suffice it to say, I’ve come a long way.

When I retired back in February of 2014, I wasn’t the least bit concerned that my health insurance coverage was pretty much only going to pay the best using Iowa Providers…I was healthy…I weighed a ton too much but I knew that was a problem I was going to solve.  Now his health insurance worried me.  Also Iowa provider based but I was able to up his coverage thru Wellmark, pay a little bit out of pocket and he would have some reasonably good coverage down here…I mean seriously…he was only a 1/4 ton overweight but he did have some health issues.

Damn….I had that all backwards and seriously had a lot to worry about, I just didn’t know it.  Proving the point that it does no good to worry and if you are a worrier…you are no doubt worrying about the wrong thing.

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I threw in this picture because all the crap I’ve been through in the last month…this one made me feel the oldest.  I have taken my share of falls in the past – not medically related…but when the hospital who doesn’t know your history slaps one of these on your wrist the day you turn 59, ugh.  Just the frosting on the cake for you have an abscessed diverticulitis and kidney cancer.

As of this week, I’m starting on my third week of iv antibiotics…the abscess is improved but not quite gone yet.  Infectious disease doctor is hoping to talk to the urologist in Des Moines sometime this week and assist in getting a plan to finally cut out this left kidney.  That is good news.  This diverticulitis treatment is depressing because it seems to be never ending.  The pain isn’t so bad now…in fact it is very mild intermittent pain.  The antibiotic is very strong and not conducive to an active life.  I have a few good hours in me.  I infuse my self every evening through a picc line in my left arm.

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It is a totally amazing little system

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The party ball (of which it has been affectionally named) is pressurized – I attach it and 35 minutes later, I flush with saline – shoot up a heparin lock and wait to feel groggy.

I’m very fortunate.  Doctors think my cancer is still contained within the membrane of the kidney.  I have an amazing man who waits on me hand and foot – my girls attempt to keeping me laughing with the weird humor they learned from he and me and I have my good friends who check in on me when i’ve been quiet for awhile.

It’s pretty cloudy here today, I’m going to enjoy it.

Until next time…..

3 thoughts on “The real reason that we should not worry about tomorrow….

  1. I’m so sorry. My mother has suffered with what you’re going through with the intestinal stuff. No fun.
    I’m glad your family is all rallied around, and it seems like you’ve got a terrific network of supporters and friends. I love the “party ball” 🙂 Take care Nina!

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  2. Tracy…I’m so far over the max out of pocket/out of network cushion that I think we’ll be fine. Ref side affects. effects? after awhile you just realize this is who you are going to be for awhile….am I right?

    This experience has given me exactly what I needed to enjoy living today and not worrying about tomorrow. It was preceded by a lot of lip services and wishes that I could see things differently. Voila!

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  3. That is not good news about the insurance, I hope it is at least workable. Three weeks of antibiotics is a really long time. I imagine you have some unpleasant side effects. Affects?
    It is funny how when bad things happen some people reflec on How bad their life is, others realize how lucky they really are.

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