I had a dream last night that I inadvertently ran into a group of girls I went to high school with…they were all friends with each other – I was on the fringe..we went to a mall of restaurants. The old friend that i probably knew the best seemed to want to catch up with me so we sat down at a table and talked…the rest of the group went somewhere else. When she and I decided we needed to find the group, we searched each little cubbyhole of restaurants and finally found two of them walking hand in hand toward the bathroom and were directed to where the group was sitting. Upon taking my seat, I suggested that we go around the table and introduce ourselves and briefly talk about our lives after high school. They told me to go first. Everyone seemed to listen..one person questioned why I thought it was important to tell how old my girls were because they were obviously older than the last time we had seen each other. When I was through, everyone went back to talking about “things” and no one else shared about their history.
Which leads me into:
I’m a curious sort…old friends, new friends…I want to connect and know about them. I ask questions because I want to know what makes them tick, what they think, what their life has been like, do we have things in common, do we have friends in common with 6 degrees of separation. I don’t really like small talk. If we are going to talk, I want to talk about things that matter.
At one time in my life, I was part of a group of people who would naturally seem like they would care about me. I can remember sitting around and listening to story after story from a couple of them about their lives, their jobs, the people they work with, every mundane thing that occurred during their week. No one really asked questions. Everyone just sat around and listened. I attempted to ask questions every now and then to show an interest but they didn’t seem to need to know I was interested so I retreated. I couldn’t figure out why no one ever asked me a question…not about my opinion but asked me questions to get to know me. Even questions about my job as a 911 dispatcher. I, obviously, had the most exciting job of all of them and no one cared enough to even say…what was your most interesting call, what was your hardest call or basically – what is it that you do? I’ve worked through the bitter ballerina phase although occasionally it rears its ugly head.
Am I just overly curious about people….or do people just not care about other people. I’m not sure why it just doesn’t seem important to others to make a connection with other people? Am I wrong? or is it just me?
Until next time…..