So, I’m walking out the door at 0640 this morning and he says…in his concerned, alert, alert, fatherly voice…it’s 1 degree out there.  I thought – seriously?  Not seriously it is 1 degree, but seriously, you had to tell me this…I hardly pay any attention to the temp.  I know if I’m hot or if I’m cold.  In the summer, I do pay attention because I love to complain about the heat and humidity…but otherwise, if I didn’t live with the weather beacon, I wouldn’t know if it was 1 degree or 32 degrees…It doesn’t really have any affect on my hatred of winter.  In the winter, I wear a winter coat and in the summer I don’t.  With all of that being said, fact of the matter:

I love living with my beacon of information…I love his rain gauge – well, when we find it in the spring after the month-long search of where he might have put it so it wouldn’t get broken.  I love that at any time I can ask him a weather question and he can recite details and forecast.  With my current hatefulness with the news media, I no longer need to watch the 6 and 10 o clock news for the forecast because I have him…..I do find his snow information helpful…many time I roll my eyes with his Captain Obvious announcements…  He loves weather…he loves to think about weather and educate himself…perhaps it could be called a hobby.  Even if he starts collecting global daily weather statistics during retirement, at least it won’t take up as much room as my dish collection.

So I publicly apologize for my irritation this morning, you did pull me out of it when you were beating the curtain with the broom but that is a totally different blog.

Until next time….


I have tried to remove the word “should” from conversations…but I have not been successful.  I think “should” is a stumbling block thrown out ahead of us leading to the outline letter A for failure.  The word “should” stands for what is perceived as the right leg of the journey…but ” should” really  means, I should do something because it is expected of me, perceived by me to be the correct stepping stone, the rhetorical block from doing what the other senses are screaming for me to do but I “should” take this route because……..

Since I decided my actual separation day with the county, I have been very uneasy as to what I should do.  I probably shouldn’t just live the life of leisure – craft, babysit, read, watch TV.  I probably should get out there and do something constructive and make some money.  Sitting in a couple meetings today at work, I was taking in all of the information related to buying a new 911 phone system.  While I listened to all of the details of each system, I was thinking to myself…you know, self…you really have quite a bit of knowledge stored up there, you really probably should try to stay in this field….911, emergency services, emergency management because this is what you know.  Then I realized that I’ve always done what I should do….I really need to let should reside in Iowa with someone else…there are always folks to adopt it…I’m going to try to take a different road in my pursuit of happiness.

Until next time…..

I fear that this may sound crazy….

A couple months ago, ahem eternity, *facial grimace, I decided I was going to give up the diet pop…well, actually pop in general and more specifically, fake sugar.  I fear that the fake sugar, carbonation and whatever else is in pop is not doing me any good.  It was horrible.  My name is Nina and I am an addict.  I had the typical addict cravings but each time I just said no.  I replaced my pop consumption with bottled water.  I noticed a couple of days ago and again just now (which inspired me to share) that cold water smoothly slides down my throat and feels good.  I don’t get the same feeling from a glass of water with ice…once I started focusing on the soft, smooth feel of it trickling down my throat, I started enjoying it….it’s taken me a couple of months to get here…unlike

August was the 14 year mark since I have smoked cigarettes.  I have no idea how I really quit other than something was more important to me that my 2 pack a day puffing.  But the horrible fact of the matter, I occasionally still have a strong desire to smoke.  Mostly when I think of relaxing…case in point, driving down the street in Siesta Key, Florida, I glanced up at balconies on condos and thought – that would be awesome to sit out there on a cool night watching the sunset and smoking a cigarette……WHAT?  WHY DO I KEEP HAVING THESE THOUGHTS.

That’s my sharing for the day.

Until next time….

Full of thought today…

I was going to say full of it…but I didn’t want to think about how many people would nod their heads in an affirmative move.

Yesterday on Facebook, I shared an anti Walmart video which every Walmart hater in America probably wants to repost.  Well, not every Walmart hater…some folks hate unions and their message more.  It got a good discussion started between folks at both ends of the spectrum.  I enjoy the discussion.  I don’t have to win an argument or discussion…I love to debate just for the challenge of debating.  I also like to hear the other side.  I listen, I hear, sometimes I agree, sometimes I disagree.  But the passion of debates ends at that moment when one side starts getting mad, hateful and start arguing trying to win the other side over.  When two people can discuss a topic with passion but without anger and ugliness, it is beautiful.

I’ve had my two evenings alone in the house while he and his brother are in Missouri working…*suppress snicker…but I’m ready for him to come home.  Enough said. 

I’m so looking forward to Thanksgiving….and I’m so looking forward to retirement…My countdown timer shows 88 days left – but I have less than 50 working days…

Until next time….


One of my daughters is afraid of clowns…I’m not going to put it out there publicly but if you know her very well, you already know this. Her sister sent her a picture last night.


When I saw it this morning! I had one of those vague regret feelings pass over me.

We used to have, maybe still have, a little clown statue that she and I used to hide to scare each other….like under her pillow or on top of her pillow with the sheet pulled up over it…this started when she was pretty young and actually probably still continues. The last time I saw it was when it was hidden behind my scarves and it fell off the ladder shelf…I can’t remember if it broke or if she has it now. It was a special thing between the two of us….finding it a couple weeks after she had been there always made me smile.

I’m not sure when this fear of clowns started…but what kid wouldn’t freak out or at least be cautious upon close proximity of the weird creatures. My first realization of her fear was when Aunt Frances gave her a soft clown with a music box inside…the head swiveled with the music…until the head started swiveling completely around and around and around….I still laugh out loud when I think about our family reaction to it.

Love you daughter….I’m kind of sorry I enjoyed your clown discomfort…just kind of sorry.

Until next time…

I take exception to his expectation!

Apparently while we were sleeping, the babies found a mouse and brought it upstairs. As I have mentioned before, they tend to play with the mice…they are NOT killers…they leave that to their canine sister, Frannie…crunch crunch crunch or to him…bam am bam. they initially lost it under the fridge….. but before I left for work….

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I mentioned to him that I love it that sometimes they actually get to hunt *awwww . He says….ya…but they give up so quickly…..I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t argue that we didn’t exactly raise them to be overachievers!!

Have awakened last two nights and felt like he was sitting over in the corner of our bedroom Ina wing back chair reading by the night light. The fact that there is no chair in the corner of our bedroom is what makes me go hmmmm. I tried to capture a picture but this is all the iPad camera could do,


Am reliving something from my previous Victorian era life or am I just anxious for Downton Abby to start?

keep up with the thought process that went into this blog if you dare!!!!!

Happy Birthday Dad

He would have been 97 today.  Thinking about his age helps me to not feel bad that he is gone.  He would not have wanted to be around at 97 considering where his eye sight was going at 84 when he actually passed away….but even though it has been 13 years – nearly 14 years, I’ve had some tearful moments…they pass… the pain never quite goes away…as time goes by it does get easier to go deeper to remember him.

If you read my blog a couple of days ago about @Hobby Lobby, know that I have rethought my shopping there.  I don’t disagree with anything I said in my blog but according to conversations and comments, apparently I did not look deep enough into what lots of people were finding offending about the management of the company…their healthcare for women…and now, I wonder if I need to stop spending my money and supporting the disfunction.  Its going to be hard and it really pisses me off that I may have to make this decision.  I continue to justify why I’m still going to shop at @Hobby Lobby the way I justify continuing to buy my home products from Melaleuca the anti gay company…I feel I need  to stand behind my convictions.  So until I figure this out…..please ignore me if you see me there…I’ll be the one wearing the disguise I bought at Michaels!

Until next time…

Waking up in a different bed!

My non-traditional life or should I say my pre-retirement state of mind or should I say having my “stuff” in two completely different houses in two completely different states is obviously messing with my psyche.  When I awaken and stir, I don’t know where I am.  Am I in Iowa or am I in Missouri.  This can happen more than one time a night.  Talk about out of whack…a couple of weeks ago when we were in Florida, I added that complication for 5 nights.  I’m not in Iowa, I’m not in Missouri….OH.

The only other time I’ve had this nocturnal confusion was after my dad died.  Every single night I would wake up…not know where I was and think I was on a ship.  One of the things going on in my life which sent me to counseling.

I wonder if this is how people with dementia or alzheimers feel when they wake up without the assurance that once their brain kicks in, they will know where they are, what year it is or who they are.  I’m going to say it probably is and I’m so sorry for their fear!

Until next time…

The most important thing today

I get very, very scared inside when I enmesh my fears with what I believe a soldier has to feel fighting for their country. Do not interpret the following as anything other than what it says.  There is no hidden meaning about women in the military.  I cannot imagine being away from my country and especially my family…not knowing if I will make it home…especially if I were a female soldier.  I think women are made out of a different cloth than men as far as emotional and nurturing aspects are concerned.    I am so thankful there are men and women willing to do it all – go all the way – even knowing they might die defending all of us.  I’m not proud to say I don’t have it in me…but it is the truth.  I leave these thoughts with deep love and thankfulness…..and I’m very proud of my soldier!!