Monthly Archives: November 2019

11.30.19
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Most tricks in a minute by a pig

That would be Joy who is proudly in the Guinness Book of World Records…

We have been away from our “Home Town” for nearly 6 years. It seems to be the perfect amount of time needed for me to forget about the things that irritated me about small town living; but, enough time that I can embrace what delighted me.

Since we have been gone, old buildings on the square have been refurbished, new traffic lights down the main drag and the movie theater has been updated. The new theater owners have a pig named Joy who lives her life on display in a store front next to the theater.

Under the heading, “you can’t make this stuff up”, Joy appears to have an idyllic life. She does tricks for gawkers passing on the square. I only stayed around for her twirling trick so I didn’t witness anything else she does…

It’s just a precious snapshot of small town life. We stood in sprinkles at 35 degrees to watch Joy and the hometown parade which brings Santa to town following the courthouse lighting and tour of the trees on display at the courthouse…which includes a massive 3 story tree.

Thanks for the memories Newton, Iowa.

Happy Holidays!

11.26.19
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I can remember staying in hotels that provided HBO

A part of me was so attracted to the idea of watching HBO all day and all night in the room because we didn’t have it at home…. I recall after looking at the little paper pamphlet left on the desk that listed all the shows playing on HBO during our stay, I was totally irritated because actually there was nothing I thought was worth my time…just a shiny little distraction.

I can remember when staying in a hotel was fun! An adventure. That was before I started paying attention to how dirty the floor might be, how filthy the remote had to be because I saw it on Facebook. Are the glasses really clean or do they just wrap them up?no doubt…you get the picture.

Seeing an HBO pamphlet in our hotel tonight, I had to looks to see if there was anything that piqued my interest even though we have HBO at home now. For some reason, I flashed back to a memory of a Florida trip in 99. It was the week John-John Kennedy was killed. Our oldest daughter had graduated high school and this was our last “family” vacation together. The night in question we had a hotel room in a perfect location to see a space shuttle launch. Of course, not really the launch but we would see something. So He and I and our youngest daughter sat in the parking lot behind our hotel waiting…waiting…waiting….waiting. The 18year old stayed in the room because nothing could drag her away from the continuous news loop about John Kennedy’s death.

Finally, dejected, we went back to our room and as we opened the door she turned and announced ….oh…something happened and they had to scrap the space shuttle launch. At the time, I remember voicing my displeasure that she did not come out and tell us..WE SAT OUT THERE ALL THAT TIME. It seems like something so insignificant now…I wonder if the other 3 would have the same recollection of that night? Memories are not always accurate but when they result in a snicker and love in my heart…I am thankful and feel so blessed!

Until next time…

11.24.19
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I think I can narrow down my emotion to…

Embarrassment.

This picture brought it to a head this week.

I looked at this creation for a long time when it popped up on my FB feed. I was first attracted to the vivid colors…I’m a color person…then the design..I wanted to look through it because I was sure there was something I couldn’t see…and there is the little details of color within the color…I felt like something was being protected.

I’m red faced in realizing the person I used to be….several times at museums and art centers, I would arrogantly avoid the “modern” art areas with a pfft of my hand because I did not understand why anyone thought this was art…it did not fit into my preconceived beliefs about art and paintings…where did these beliefs come from?

I’m certainly not saying that I am without opinion.

Noun. A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

I am saying that in this prejudice about what I thought paintings were supposed to look like, I missed some real beauties..some experiences…how many things in my review of life can I check the mark beside ..missed it …because of my inability to see past my personal opinions and judgements?

it’s another layer of my personal onion!

Whoever created this painting I say well done. Bravo….You made me think.

Until next time…

11.19.19
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This idea of having boundaries….

It’s a concept I’m just learning to actually HEAR. On this incredibly personal journey I started so many years ago, I stopped at every crossroad in order to re-evaluate right, left, forward or often screaming NO and running back from where I had come. The thought of creating boundaries was always the one thing causing me to retreat…..

I was raised an only child by older parents with completely different personalities. My parents (who did the best they could do) used me as a child of about 8 and onward to be the glue in their relationship…talking to me about their problems in and out of their relationship and teaching me quickly to be a problem solver and a people pleaser. They sent me out into the world incapable of setting up personal boundaries.

I frequently step or run forward to do the things I want to do but I’m usually dragging someone or something else with me, not in my best interest, because I’m just afraid to say no.

This morning two memes mentioning boundaries popped up on my FB page….my spiritual soul grabbed on …. holding tightly as if I had never before heard the concept. And just like that…I know where my awareness will be focused.

Until next time…

11.08.19
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How they made me feel

I had one of those moments this morning…I liken it to a sparkling dust of wisdom falling from the sky and gently landing on my shoulder. It’s those ah ha moments that gently ring your bell of recognition and it feels like….like….a thunder shirt for a dog. It was just ANOTHER small glimpse of a moment that I’ve been able to see through the peep hole of who I am.

Quite a while ago I seized on the Maya Angelou quote, At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Jeff Foster, in the book Deepest Acceptance touched on removing the story you have told yourself about difficult people in your life and see them without your story, without your pain or whatever emotion you have attached to them. See them new and fresh…see them just as they are. I immediately looked in the corner and saw my memory image of my mother as just a person I did not know. I really looked at her…I understood the lesson.

…..and then this morning the little poof of sparkle. Yes, in fact, we can love everyone as human beings…as ourselves….even those folks that make themselves hard to love by their behavior…..I have to remove the story I tell myself about them…good or bad….by knowing how they made me feel. It is often nearly impossible to forget the event, to forget what they said, to forget how they literally crumbled your heart or your self esteem. The reason is the emotion I attached to them how they made me feel. I may not remember the story just right…I may not remember exactly what was said…I may not even remember why I can’t stand them…but I’m always attached to them by emotion…by the way they made me feels. Releasing the emotion may not be easy, but realizing that this is my story, my emotion, my path gives me ownership. I am seriously tired of all of the angst balled up in my chest because of my perceptions of past transgressions but I have the choice to close the door and not rent space to them in my head from this moment on.

Until next time….