How they made me feel

I had one of those moments this morning…I liken it to a sparkling dust of wisdom falling from the sky and gently landing on my shoulder. It’s those ah ha moments that gently ring your bell of recognition and it feels like….like….a thunder shirt for a dog. It was just ANOTHER small glimpse of a moment that I’ve been able to see through the peep hole of who I am.

Quite a while ago I seized on the Maya Angelou quote, At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Jeff Foster, in the book Deepest Acceptance touched on removing the story you have told yourself about difficult people in your life and see them without your story, without your pain or whatever emotion you have attached to them. See them new and fresh…see them just as they are. I immediately looked in the corner and saw my memory image of my mother as just a person I did not know. I really looked at her…I understood the lesson.

…..and then this morning the little poof of sparkle. Yes, in fact, we can love everyone as human beings…as ourselves….even those folks that make themselves hard to love by their behavior…..I have to remove the story I tell myself about them…good or bad….by knowing how they made me feel. It is often nearly impossible to forget the event, to forget what they said, to forget how they literally crumbled your heart or your self esteem. The reason is the emotion I attached to them how they made me feel. I may not remember the story just right…I may not remember exactly what was said…I may not even remember why I can’t stand them…but I’m always attached to them by emotion…by the way they made me feels. Releasing the emotion may not be easy, but realizing that this is my story, my emotion, my path gives me ownership. I am seriously tired of all of the angst balled up in my chest because of my perceptions of past transgressions but I have the choice to close the door and not rent space to them in my head from this moment on.

Until next time….

5 thoughts on “How they made me feel

  1. I love, love, love this blog post. This line is so poetic, “a sparkling dust of wisdom falling from the sky and gently landing on my shoulder. It’s those ah ha moments that gently ring your bell of recognition and it feels like….like….a thunder shirt for a dog.” Beautiful!
    I hadn’t heard that quote from Maya Angelou before. So true! We cannot control anyone else, we can only attempt to control our reactions to them. We cannot change the past, our mental real estate is limited, choosing to
    to “rent space” to those negative feelings in our past does not serve us in any way. We may never figure out why we were treated the way we were by those people who have “made” us feel. That’s ok. Figuring out how to release ourselves from the inner hamster wheel of negativity is a better thing to rent space to!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What you are talking about reminds me of David Hawkin’s book “Letting Go”, where you let go of the feeling and the story that goes along with the feeling automatically goes with it.

    Like

  3. Thank you so much for writing this and posting it. It’s something I really needed to read and I am going to read it many times over.

    Liked by 1 person

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