….learning….the life long process

Feeling vulnerable is a natural emotion.  I believe whether we have the tenacity to fight this emotion or wear it on our sleeve, we all have differing triggers and degrees  of vulnerabilities….I’m not sure if this feeling of being susceptible to being wounded or hurt,  open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc. ever goes away.  There is something about that inner voice that is always chatting away inside us.  I believe the vulnerable emotion’s most important job is just an alert for incoming mortar fire.

Those of us who have been damaged or emotionally injured early in life, perhaps, are more susceptible to understanding we have to take in the information, understand what is happening and learn how to fight these assaults on our well being.  Others may be stronger and don’t knowingly listen to the voice while there are those who give into the feelings which brings them to their knees.

I wonder if aggressive personalities, fighters, angry people are just fighting their feelings of vulnerability on the front line.  It is often a painful feeling and for self preservation these people feel they are saving themselves…..and on the other end, there is either no fight left or  skills have not been honed in order to even understand this emotion and they just give in to being a victim?

Until next time….

Figuring out who we are….

Some people are just angry….and we encounter them everyday.  Some people wouldn’t show anger if you set their hair on fire…..they would forgive you….or so it seems.  Some people, which I believe are the majority fall right in the center…these people are forgiving but given the correct amount of flame can explode…even to the point of irrational anger.  As a lifelong armchair psychologist, I’m fascinated with what makes people tick….and generally I make a human evaluation when I encounter someone who fits on either end of the arc, I wonder if they are happy and peaceful and satisfied with their life or are they screaming in their head on a daily basis?  DO folks who live their lives red hot not understand there are ways to cool their emotions, perhaps the idea of self discovery and self evaluation never enters their mind….perhaps they are just who they are and have no desire to change.  Maybe there was a particular time in their early life where they faced cruelty or violence and/or perhaps they could just have a mental health diagnosis.

……and with a lighter touch.  There are people who have a free spirit…their life interaction with others manifests in peace and acceptance and tend to be positive and loving.  Others have a deep groove of personal insecurity and must degrade and negatively bash others to make themselves feel secure.  Do these personality types inwardly reflect and understand the hateful thread that ties their thoughts and life together?

Until next time…..

The analogy of tears….

I was sharing some on-line information with him today (a texting thread with a family member along with You Tube videos).  I know why the subject matter had me emotional…it was the mixture of things that are close to my heart, the realization of the depth of my love and the empathy touched with the You tube video.  I was mildly embarrassed for myself because I could not control the tears that rolled down my cheeks.  I don’t understand why tears sometimes cause embarrassment.  I think that tears are as much of an emotional reaction as laughter that hurts the gut.

There are sadness tears that fall, say, funeral tears or just extreme loss and sadness tears.  I have no control over those tears medicated or unmedicated.  Once the dam breaks, I just have to see them through until they stop.

There are anger tears, for me, I have had several occasions where my reaction to extreme rage is tears.  I’ve always looked at those as safety tears.  Safety for the other person because it is my release and helps me resist personal violence.  Ya.  I’m talking about royally pissed off angry?

Sometimes there are those incredible laughter tears…for me, those are usually accompanied by the inability to breath and sore stomach muscles because it is just that funny.

And there are those tears like I had this morning.  Love tears?  Empathy tears?  Celebrating that I am alive and have deep feeling tears.

As I over analyzed this question, I think that I think these tears cause embarrassment because the observer feels sorry for me.  Thinks there is something wrong that they need to help heal or comfort.  Especially observers who do not understand their own emotions,

So my advice is for goodness sakes…cry your eyes out…sometimes it is just the energy release you may need.

Until next time….