Everything back to normal

This morning  I hung up the shift bidding sheet for 2014…my name isn’t on it…no regrets!

Other than an extra mortgage and utilities for two houses, it has been nice to be able to slowly make upgrades on the Missouri house and slowly move things from one place to the other.  What isn’t wonderful is the double life we are leading.  At first it was very refreshing to have our own house down there when we visited the kids.  Each wonderful long weekend was followed by a 4 hour trip back to Iowa – home to the critters and Dish TV.  It was around Thanksgiving that I started having a major aversion to the return trip.  As I mentioned in an earlier blog, my dreams are even different between the two houses/cities/states.  This week, after 9 days, it was especially hard to leave my Missouri life…we drove separately and met up in Bethany for lunch at McDonalds (my first fish sandwich for awhile) (need to hit McDonalds more often)…We talked about what kind of relief we would feel once our life is no longer disjointed….AND the kitties won’t have to be alone for weeks at a time 😦  Thank you Carmen Keith for checking on them!!!! It takes a village.

Two hours into my Monday shift, I’ve been yelled at because someone’s car has been repo’d and it is almost paid off (almost being the operative word), I’ve had two people call because uh ya, I got a question, 2 cellphone heros/tattlers on the interstate and two 911 calls that were actual emergencies.  Those were the highlights…I’ve actually talked to several people who didn’t want to have to bother us and had actual non-self made issues but they are the minority.  I’ve already made it back to exactly the same place I was before I went on vacation.

Happy Birthday Nancy, Deaton, Lennie Rae and Bengi!

Until next time.

Traveling alone in the car.

I think the Nissan Murano is one of the best looking SUVs on the road today.  I’m not going to go buy one the way I did the Chevy Trailblazer..that was a mistake in judgement especially trading in the loaded Aztek for it!  It’s such a shame the Pontiac line is done…there are several good looking Pontiacs on the road.   Wow this is where I was last week when it started raining and temps were below 32..how does Missouri keep their roads from freezing up the way they do in Iowa?  How does 4 hours make this much difference in the temp?  Whew..I’m actually relieved Christmas is over…but it was great all the way around – seeing everyone and TSO with Brenda…I AM going to see them twice next year… I swear Sunday drivers are the worst!  Especially those who can’t drive on the interstate .  I’m totally fascinated with bridges that go down hill (or uphill depending on your direction) over the interstate.  I love those 2 places on I35 south where the N/B and S/B lanes are divided by a lot of land/timber/pond.  I usually speed up on those stretches.  Seriously, Dumb Ass?  I’m really needing a vacation to see something other than Iowa and Missouri…so if my last day is on the 13th, I wonder when we should get the moving truck…I’m going to kind of miss Des Moines….I’ve missed my kitties.

Until next time….

Until next time.

After what seems like 100 years of marriage

I think I have figured out that I have it pretty good.  For those of you newly married, my piece of advice to you – which you will not figure out until you have been married 100 years – it takes a long time..during those times when you really, really don’t like each other – try to hang on to the commitment and the memory that there was something there that made you fall in love.  Because it rolls back around. Focus on the positive and not on the things that drive you bat shit crazy…one caveat – if you realize it was a mistake in the beginning – then get out – start over and try to end it peacefully without hatred and a grudge.

Wouldn’t it be great if it all worked that way!

He is spending the day hanging light fixtures and ceiling fans.  He is diligent and a perfectionist and it is going to be awesome when it is done…it’s early and I have not heard any expletives so it must be going well…and his fitbit stats are going to far exceed mine sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and feeling peaceful!

ceiling fans

Until next times….

All you really have to do is get family together

for entertainment.  I believe that several minute to minute happenings in my 3 days of Christmas could more than likely keep a movie audience enthralled for a year…Just the scenarios…not necessarily the events themselves.  I’m sure it is true in every family gathering…some stories or things that happen become the lore of many Christmas to come – passing down from generation to generation.  While I want to belly laugh my way thru some of these stories right now – I know that it would not be appropriate because what happens at Christmas needs to stay with Christmas…but a few stories may squeeze out to some of you privately.  I share/you share because after awhile you want to hear other family stories so you won’t fear your Christmas get-togethers with your family in the future. :0 you know what I’m talking about!

I really hope Candyland is still a popular children’s game.  I had a fleeting memory yesterday of the many hours my dad spent playing candyland with me when I was a kid and I want to play the game with Jaxon.

As I see the clean Christmas dishes sitting on the counter, I am trying to figure out what to do with them this year.  The boxes they came in 10 years ago are becoming tattered..still have good padding though??  I am so not the person who should be responsible for putting them away…I received very little of the attention-to-detail gene.

I don’t know what we are going to do today to entertain ourselves..the Christmas let down.  I hope you all felt a little love this holiday season to get you thru the next few months of winter!  That and be sure to run some of those family stories around in your brain to cement them so you don’t forget them…

Until next time….

Memories forever

I sit here remembering this morning while I finish my cup of coffee and before my shower…remembering Christmas’ past.  Remembering the magic of Santa Clause – coming out of my bedroom to see Santa had, in fact, come..Waiting for Aunt Ruby, Uncle Vaughn, Grandma Green coming from West Liberty…waiting for Aunt Frances and her bedazzled clothes = she loved shiny things.  hmmmmm.

Remembering Christmas with the Brown family…it was different but very special…all of the family…all of the kids…the Christmas picture from the 80’s I have my hair pulled back with a big honking bow…

Christmas in my folks new house in Newton…dressed up for Christmas in red, gold and green..the table set with loving care and always one of Aunt Frances created centerpieces.  My dad in his Christmas flannel shirt..sitting in the chair waiting for everyone else to open their presents with his 10 fingers pressed against each other.

The year Katy got the Alan Jackson cassette tape out of her Christmas stocking and screeches of ALAN JACKSON…ALAN JACKSON.  The girls little game of hiding a present from each other so one could be the last one to open a present.

Wrapping paper all over…and my dad getting a large garbage bag when it was over and collecting it all.  Jenny took up that chore automatically after he died.  Christmas wrapping paper should be all over the floor…but SAVE THE BOWS!

Christmas 2000 when we realized dad had his heart attack and spent the day in the hospital with him.  Aunt Frances stayed home with the girls.  We had Christmas that evening.  Came home to christmas dinner that night and  the garbage disposal seized up because Aunt Frances didn’t know she couldn’t put all of the potato peelings down at one time.

Christmas with the Repps…one room brim full of Christmas presents and Jane’s amazing baked goods.

Now, today, a new tradition.  Everyone from my past Christmases is with me today…in my heart.  We move on with love.

Until next time….

911 may have given me a cold heart?

My mother asked me one time why I had become so cold hearted.. the “X” was tallied in the column of “She doesn’t know me”.  It did make me step back and wonder if this is the way other people see me because inside  I’m a whimpering basket of compassion and love so much that I often lose myself while being enmeshed in someone else’s pain. (edit note) I just deleted a paragraph rant.

Which brings me to the regular, horrible posts on Facebook about old people dying, skinny pets, dogs laying by caskets, mangled children and a myriad of other horrible things that happen to good people.  I can’t stand it.  I don’t read them and frequently I hide them from my news feed because every time someone comments, it shows back up at the top of my news feed.  What is wrong with me or my better question…what is wrong with everyone else who actually reads them and passes them on.  I can’t read this stuff…it goes right along with my inability to watch movies or TV where someone is shot up, bloodied up, uncomfortable or being abused…or wild animals eating other wild animals is so disturbing..well, other than snakes or gator abuse…I could probably stomach that…No offense you Florida Gator fans.  I would seriously rather watch sex than violence on TV and at this age, I can’t really say that sounds like an appealing way  to spend my evening.

Perhaps when I retire and get away from the craziness of what people intentionally do to each other and/or the horrible things that happen to good people, I will be more normal.  But I wonder…

Until next time….

More than 10 days of Christmas

Christmas is my time of year.  The one thing that I really thank my mother for is inspiring the magic of Christmas.  That and the incredibly horrible and painful childbirth that I’ve been told accompanied my “Hello World”.  I’ve been taking a look within these last few weeks as our family makes another change and tries to start a new tradition at Christmas.  In spite of several negative emotions which have accompanied Christmas like my dad’s heart attack on Christmas eve in 2000, I’m still filled with the magic of the season….which is why I think the discussion about celebrating family christmas the weekend after has been such a bone of contention with me.  Midnight on Christmas night, December 25th…it is over!  Done.  I usually take my tree down before midnight but after everyone leaves.  Never thought of starting the process while everyone is still there – that might make my point a little clearer.   I love the pre-christmas probably more than I like the actual Christmas day.  I love the big snowflake days, I love Christmas carols, I love Christmas decorations, I love shopping for Christmas presents and the happiness in little Johnny’s eyes when he opens that new red sled…We don’t have a little Johnny..but I thought that might make my point.  Christmas is like living a fairy tale.

……and I attended my 4th Trans-Siberian show last night with Brenda at the Sprint Center in Kansas City….although I’ve enjoyed a Trans-Siberean concert on my IPOD daily since the day before Thanksgiving…It is magical, it is loud, it is bright, it is beautiful…the voices can bring tears to your eyes one minute and have you want to be on your feet giving fist pumps and screaming the next minute.  The last 30 minutes of the concert works me up into such a frenzy, I feel like I’m high!  Its my new tradition at Christmas.  Mine.  I love sharing it with Brenda…Next year I may even go to two concerts.





Until next time…


Since my last post about dreaming…I’ve been on a journey.  Seems Newton dreams and Pleasant Hill dreams are different from each other.  The morning waking up from the dream about a former fake friend and her betrayal and hatefulness kind of set the tone for the day.  Apparently I still have some anger to deal with.  I tried the route of block, ignore and move on but she is still in there somewhere dispersing ugliness.

It’s very hard to leave my grandbaby, the home and the weather to come back to Iowa.  Kind of in a funk about the job.  Not sure where I belong anymore.  I want to hand off the baton to the next supervisor so he can hit the ground running and while I’m ready to give it all up, I’m troubled with doing the job for 30 years – the massive amounts of technical information I’ve taken in the last 3 years and then what.  I just stop thinking about it?  It’s called retirement…no one really helps you prepare for it anymore than the lack of preparation when you become an empty nester.  I guess it’s one of those things you figure out as you go.  Just like everything else in life.

Not sure what I’m supposed to do today.  I’m not short on things I need to start or finish.  Just a little melancholy with a huge helping of lack of ambition.

Until next time….

To dream or not to dream

I’ve probably already used up my allotted time thinking about this but, I must move forward and discuss it.  I’ve had a few dreamless nights of late.  I know that they are not really dreamless but more likely I just don’t remember them. Then last night – quite an unlikely situation dream which I remember.  So, if I have it correct – or at least if I have it the way I like to expound about it – dreaming is our subconscious way to deal with our conscious emotions.    What we dream about has more to do with how the dreamt situation makes us feel and how we have had the same feeling in our conscious life about a situation so we are trying to work out that emotion or feeling.  So…I feel I can conclude that even if I don’t remember the dream, somewhere in “there…the dream state”, I was probably working something out emotionally and just don’t remember it?  Because, quite frankly, I have enough emotional baggage to dream 24/7 for the rest of my life…and speaking of dying…squirrel.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about these near death experiences….meeting your grandmother on the other side…and them coming back.  I have not heard anyone say it could be just a very vivid dream which comes from deep unconsciousness – so to speak…Seems very likely it could be just like some of those good or bad vivid dreams we have and when we wake up we lay there and think WHOA!

Anyway, that’s what was on my mind this morning.

Until next time….

Gossip has always been damaging….

But discussing the neighbor’s marital discord or the vodka flask she carries was like playing with Tinker Toys compared to today’s social media.  Being skeptical about everything and only believing half of what I hear has saved me from some embarrassing “shares” on Facebook.  That is not to say that I haven’t been taken in only to have snopes scream out LIAR.  I haven’t decided whether it is best to leave the untrue post and follow it up with snopes or to just remove the LIE and hope that there is no one gullible enough to believe it the way I did.  It almost happened yesterday with the Salvation Army vs LGBT community.  I believed what I read that the salvation army discriminated..but I paused…today I see that the Salvation Army is putting out fires saying they DO NOT discriminate against race, gender, social orientation etc etc…and in fact it was just one dude who climbed upon his hate box to speak his mind about hate and discontent….and the Salvation Army is now spending extra energy in the kitchen trying to clean up the dirty dishes.

I would guess that usually there is a trip wire of anger or revenge which sends the social media into a frenzy…or sometimes it is probably just pure hate or envy…or occasionally it may be one wire crossing another wire within which expels the insanity….at any rate I just wish people would stop posting things I disagree with..(tongue in cheek for you literal minded folk).  Its getting really hard to keep repeating my mantra – I may not agree with what you say but you have every right to say it!

Until next time….