911 may have given me a cold heart?

My mother asked me one time why I had become so cold hearted.. the “X” was tallied in the column of “She doesn’t know me”.  It did make me step back and wonder if this is the way other people see me because inside  I’m a whimpering basket of compassion and love so much that I often lose myself while being enmeshed in someone else’s pain. (edit note) I just deleted a paragraph rant.

Which brings me to the regular, horrible posts on Facebook about old people dying, skinny pets, dogs laying by caskets, mangled children and a myriad of other horrible things that happen to good people.  I can’t stand it.  I don’t read them and frequently I hide them from my news feed because every time someone comments, it shows back up at the top of my news feed.  What is wrong with me or my better question…what is wrong with everyone else who actually reads them and passes them on.  I can’t read this stuff…it goes right along with my inability to watch movies or TV where someone is shot up, bloodied up, uncomfortable or being abused…or wild animals eating other wild animals is so disturbing..well, other than snakes or gator abuse…I could probably stomach that…No offense you Florida Gator fans.  I would seriously rather watch sex than violence on TV and at this age, I can’t really say that sounds like an appealing way  to spend my evening.

Perhaps when I retire and get away from the craziness of what people intentionally do to each other and/or the horrible things that happen to good people, I will be more normal.  But I wonder…

Until next time….

3 thoughts on “911 may have given me a cold heart?

  1. I hide that stuff from my timeline too. I have been called emotionless, cold, a Vulcan and just plain mean by a couple of people. I realized after many years that when they do that what they’re really saying is “why aren’t you acting the way I want you to?”
    If you ever get worried that maybe you have grown too callous I just want you to take a relaxing breath and as you’re exhaling try to picture the amount of love you feel for your daughters and that beautiful grandson. I bet it’s almost overwhelming.

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  2. You’re not the Ice Queen OK? Your Mom may have perceived you that way because you were not easily manipulated. When manipulative people do not get their way, they try to use guilt. I don’t know what the situation was and if I’m off base, I apologize, but I have a similar situation currently. It’s very difficult. 911 service might tend to condition you to condition you to expect and become accustomed to gloom, doom and disaster, but I doubt it would harden your heart.

    You’re all right Mrs B. Don’t worry about it and Merry Christmas.

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  3. Odd how your mother saw you.

    We try to watch as little violence as possible. A couple of my shows show a little but I try not to watch if they start going over my line. Craig really won’t watch anything TV show with that sort of content. It upsets him too much.

    Your line of work shows too much reality. I think it is good that you will be able to get away from it sooner than later.

    Take care have a good day.

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