Monthly Archives: October 2019

10.29.19
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Mansplaining. (not for the faint of heart)

For 6 decades I have endured conversations with men who were hell bent on explaining things to me about things I know more about than they do. Like woman things or let’s say folks on the other side of my profession aka the other side of the radio explaining my job or just things in general like explaining down to me as if I were just a potato? I always protected myself and them by just thinking to myself…ahhh, small dick.

Over the years, He has mansplained to me and quite frankly, I have also talked AT him the nuances of life. It’s just what couples do…at least we do. For the most part one of us will just glaze over…or if a nerve is hit, there could be some raised voices and hurt feelings.

Today, I received a phone call from a woman who was a manager at Orkin…she wanted to come out and review our appointment with them last May…mostly about how well they served by eliminating our insect problem. Sure…at least I don’t have to fill out a survey on line because quite, frankly, on a scale of 0 to 10 surveys has become a 2nd career for me. I told Him that the person coming out was a woman…he said, great…somebody who won’t mansplain. After that comment, I realized yes, I would marry him again.

We are doing a lot of ego work in the book studies we do at Unity. We are ripe with recognizing when our ego is controlling us. That’s not to say we are enlightened but it does mean, in this situation, that He…the man…helped me to understand what mansplaining really is…not to bash on men because we all have tremendous egos that need recognizing…but mansplaining may just be a symptom of insecurity and protection because they may be feeling unloveable, inadequate or not measuring up?!?

I hope I can recognize the beating drum of fear we all experience instead of judging someone as pompous or arrogant with small genitalia. I’m learning….

10.17.19
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You know you don’t have to be an asshole!?!.

I was exiting a parking lot onto a frontage street…there were cars trying to merge into the line…so thinking everyone else would do the same thing, I allowed a car in….hoping the car behind me would do likewise. They did. The guy behind the car I allowed to merge was so desperately offended that I didn’t yield to him also that when he got behind me, he opened his window and yelled f**king C**t. Oh my!

I watched a guy in an old pickup stop for an elderly woman in the right of way crossing between the store and the parking lot. As soon as she had passed his right bumper he gunned his big loud machine so she would know how totally injured he was for having to be courteous.

So many damaged people who don’t have the tools (or, perhaps, someone that cares about them) have a tendency to make hurtful and disrespectful comments in order to hurt someone else so they feel bigger and better about themselves. It doesn’t work. Those damaged people just come off as assholes and their intended victim must learn to let it go and not attach any emotion or self confidence to the behavior.

It’s hard to remember that when we come across someone who is hurting for whatever reason, that we do not need to feed their bad behavior, but to love that person as you love yourself…because we are all connected. What we put out there is what we get back.

Until next time…

10.14.19
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Things not always the way they appear

Listening to a group discussion Saturday morning, I could not turn away from the view out the old windows of the building.

I was focusing on the red tile roof. I realized that I had viewed these roofs often from a car window and from the ground…from afar. I liked the way these roofs looked from a distance but I had never really thought about what they might look like from a birds perspective.

I noticed, this morning, that this tile roof was not perfect aesthetically. I wanted to crawl out that window and even up the layers…the more my critical eye judged this roof the more discontented I felt because I was comparing this roof to what I knew of shingled roofs. I wondered how this disheveled tile roof could actually do its job and protect the inner building from water leaks.

….And then I wanted to take a picture of this very unique view. I had begun to appreciate the beauty and nonconformity…this work of art made from the clay of the earth. The ugliness or beauty of the roof was how I chose to see it.

Until next time…

10.08.19
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I’m pretty sure it was just last week

And I’m not talking about vacation. The semi-annual event of changing out the warm and cold weather wardrobe….also known as..the OMG I FORGOT I HAD THAT … THIS IS BETTER THAN SHOPPING event.

Fortunately being an empty nester pack rack, I have extra closets for the cyclical clothing exchange. As well as this huge tote big enough to bury a body in.

Please do not misunderstand. This tote is big but I can’t use all of it because there are several bottom layers of clothes I haven’t worn in 15 years that WILL fit me again…some day!

So far seems like the hot to cold transition here is going to be friendly. Trees around my nest don’t seem to be changing yet, although the early leafers have fallen off in a brown, crisp, twisted death….I look forward to the strong color changes around the neighborhood.

Happy Autumn!

10.01.19
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Gloucester, Mass…Glawster

The oldest seaport in the United States…Gloucester shares the land point with Rockport. We are at that point of the vacation where we are ready to head home….still enjoying the sites but less zealous…..

We stayed overnight in an out of the way hotel…the Sea Lion. It was quiet and outdated and comfortably simple.

My main agenda was visiting the fisherman’s Memorial but then we were intrigued with the the rest of it.

There is just a different feel in a village like this in comparison with the Midwest. We especially loved the city hall and the ship cupola on the top of the weather vane.

During this trip to the east/northeast, I’ve been very aware of the melting pot of different cultures, different accents and languages! I was especially aware of a different drummer that Mainers dance to as opposed to the Midwest. #gratitude for the experience and gratitude for the “living in the moment” lessons I’ve been practicing and used during the complications during the first part of the trip.

We are vegging now in a beautiful suite in a burb outside of Boston, Gotta love Orbitz rewards…