There have been times when I was in shape and my hair looked good, that I would be driving on a beautiful sunny days with the tunes blasting and I would have that feeling which can only be described as WOW…LIFE IS GOOD…I’M IN LOVE WITH LIFE….YOU CAN’T GET TO ME TODAY SO DON’T EVEN TRY…. As I got older and older with big girl problems, those feelings went away; in fact I cannot even remember when it happened the last time. But, I was thinking tonight while going thru some photos for scrapbooking…this is so fun…I look forward to it…I can’t wait to get my work done so I can sit down and do it….it is like that whole wind through my hair thing from years past…only different.
Another giddy feeling I used to have is when I went to the library…I would load up 3 or 4 books…not because I would read that many before they were due but because in my effort to always be prepared, I would get that many books so at least 2 or 3 I might like. Then I would head home, knowing I had to play mother, wife, cook or maid and wanted to hurry thru everything so I could sit down and lose myself in a book. I still love to read and do so every day but I don’t have that giddy feeling that I can’t wait to go home and get into a book.
I love to vacation and/or camp…I love the weeks building up to the trip…except for the day just before we leave. I love the prep, the trips to Walmart for possible missed items and I love being better prepared financially now because I know that if I forget something, I can stop and buy it… that takes a lot of pressure off of the preparation…
I look forward to scrapbooking…see paragraph 1…Debbie and Karen and I decided a while back that we would rotate each others houses each month to scrapbook..but have found a real home at Debs which feels loving, safe and comfortable so we haven’t gone anywhere else. Safe and comfortable and loved are good.
Until next time…..
Childhood, tweens and teens for me was fraught with insecurity…my childhood may not have been norm but it is all I know…the anxiety, hormones, love, don’t love, want to love, want to be loved, oh no..I”m 18 what now…was followed by the 20’s…marriage, first child, I have no idea what I”m doing or what I’m supposed to do…we are broke…what are we doing wrong…not everyone is broke…ups and downs, new job working for the sheriff’s office…I hate being a grownup….30’s…Oh no, I’m 30, 31 – another baby…getting it together, moving, trying to make it all work, how do I parent..have to break the cycle…40’s ug..I’m 40…several mid-life crisis..got in shape..wanted to be a reserve police officer..gotta have some fun…high school band, high school band boosters, stepping out of my comfort zone – oh goodness my baby is graduating…oh know, Devastation – how am I going to survive … my dad is gone….I’m 49 and the real baby is graduating…oh no…she’s going to college…what am I going to do with myself…
da dada da I’m 50…. I hate the weight I’m carrying around..I’m kind of screwed up..no one prepares you for the kids being gone…he has some health problems…I thought life was like a new awakening at 50…between the periods of angst, there are moments of enlightenment…there is less tolerance for what we call BS…life is wonderful without the monthly shifting of hormones…just hang on…it’s going to get better…various periods of peace of mind..we don’t know what will happen in the future…live in the moment…live for this moment and nothing more or nothing less…the past is gone…the future hasn’t happened…we have only now….
Until next time….
WHAT I SAID WAS….. it is not any of your damn business what two people do in the privacy of their own bedroom…and what I mean is…if folks are so up in everyone else’s business and want to make the world a better place, take up the issues that have an impact on your life and that could have an impact on your family..like dope and booze and murder and rape and larceny and coveting your neighbor’s wife/husband and his/her home and SUV and spend less time trying to discern if someone who you don’t even know is violating your interpretation of the bible and your religious views…and quite frankly if we are going to take every word in the bible literally then plan to do without a hand or an eye…let those who have not sinned and don’t sin stand a little ahead of the group because we wanna meet you.
Until next time….
So…out of boredom on a quiet, rainy night at work, I decided to check out the 3 columns of marriage licenses applied for in the Des Moines Register…I didn’t do a line by line count of obvious same sex names as opposed to male/female names, but the number was quite astounding. There were even two applied for licenses for out of state couples..which brings me to the most satisfying information on the list to a good American liberal like myself.
The majority…and when I say majority, I really mean more than 2….of the applicants were 42 or above in age and there were a couple of couples in their 60/70s… now what this says to me is that the state of Iowa has offered up this political blessing to these couples who are not wet behind the ear little pukes looking for some variety in sex, but actually older men and women who are probably secure with their sexual identity and just learned to live and love each other but never thought they could actually make it “real” like all of us other folks. I don’t know any of these folks but I’m guessing that they may put their pants on just like I do and I might drive next to them on a city street and have no idea that they …. are you ready…have same sex in the comfort and privacy of their own bed….and while I’m at it…now that denial of same sex marriage in Iowa was ruled unconstitutional by our supreme court, how DARE magistrates and Clerk of Courts refuse to marry or provide a marriage license to these people…How dare they…these folks are not appointed to serve their own ideas and values, they are appointed to serve the people of Iowa. I actually find this similar to me taking a 911 call and deciding that I”m not going to offer assistance to this person because I don’t like the sound of their voice…or if I were a waitress, there is no way I would serve liver to a customer because I personally don’t like liver….and if it is an issue of religious teachings and values…keep in mind that we are given free choice…free choice to make our own choices and decision within the laws of the land…this does not include universal laws of religion because as I understand it, there is a separation of church and state….
Congratulations all of you John/Jim and Mary/Susans out there.
Until next time….
My brain immediately goes into happy/fun/love mode when I take in the fresh scent of newly mown grass on an early spring day..similar to the feeling of walking around our property on an early sunny morning with the dogs on the scent trail of many adventures. We also have an unknown origin bush in the backyard that has small corncob size blooms of little flowers that are very, very fragrant. With a slight east or south wind, you cannot help but stop in your tracks and just take in the scent.
I cannot put into words the total peace and joy that I feel when a thought of camping at Bennett Spring State Park comes to me. I can flash on a collage of images and have almost instant peace and love.
Last week, I watched a clip of David Letterman and the dog that would play dead…Everytime I watched it, I would find myself smiling…when it was over…smiling about the cute dog and grinning about Letterman’s reaction. I thought to myself that there should be more things in my life that cause this involuntary smile….
There are few things in life that ease me into contentment as much as having one of my critters snuggling up to me for a bit of affection and the “I love you” in their eye contact with me.
Why are certain blankets the perfect blanket…cuddling down when you are chilled with the right blanket feels so good. A different blanket would not have the same reaction for me. I am currently using a pink bedspread with chenille patterns in it. This is one of two bedspreads that I now have that came from my bed when I was in the 2-8 year range. I have memories of these spreads on the beds in the house when we moved out of when I was 4…I’m not really sure what actually brings me the comfort but it feels sooooo good. I’m 53…these bedspreads are old
I love to hear my daughter’s voices…either HEY from one daughter when I answer the phone or one of the pet greetings from the other… and listening to the smile in their voices when they think they have tricked me in thinking they are the other one.
Until next time…..
I love purple…almost any shade except the darkest of dark…but put as a contrast color, I like it too.
I love pink… I love cranberry…I love yellow.
I really like Dunkin Donuts coffee… I like Real Simple Magazine to go along with it.
I really like to look at a well shaped man who works out to look that way as long as I don’t have to talk to him.
I like my man in blue jeans and a white t shirt….
I love shoes…
I’m a computer addict…I think it is the ability to keep in touch with everyone ..and..you never know when someone is thinking about you…maybe that is it.
I love dishes…If I had money…I would have a lot more dishes..which would require more cabinets, which would require a bigger house…but I still like dishes…
I love Bennett Spring State Park..it is my little piece of Heaven on earth…I used to think I could only be centered at the ocean…then we were introduced to Bennett Spring.
I love spring in Iowa..I love iris..especially dark purple because they smell the best. I look forward to retirement, I look forward to traveling.
I love my critters.
I love my family…my husband…my daughters…I love the men my daughters chose and I love their families….
My friends are very, very important to me…they help me be who I am….or guide me to be what I want to be.
Until next time…..
I’m getting a fever blister/cold sore/herpes sore on my lip. Great… Started the L’lysene
He took Baxter to the vet yesterday because he has been laying around for 2 days. Poss infection…I’m worried..gave him some antibiotics and said if not better by Thursday, to call them…he ate and drank some water this morning..but he’s still out of it 😦
First night back last night…I’m sure I could have done less work if I had tried…but thought – hmmm what the heck..they are paying me well…
It’s green and it’s gorgeous in Iowa..ya’ll ought to come for a visit now…and I mean now…this minute…supposed to have thunderstorms tonight..
I’m going out to look for mushrooms at the bottom of our lot. I posted a blackberry facebook pic of the ones Phil got yesterday. He’s a good man… he cut open chicken breasts and stuffed them with mushrooms and onions…mmm by the time I got up they were a little dry .. but a little Marzetti dill dip and I was in love.
Don’t forget…come to Iowa within the next few hours or I’ll give you an alert the next time it is safe…
Until next time…..
I heard that, you guys… I are too normal!!!
The weekend didn’t turn out the way it was planned but it was wonderful anyway. I didn’t scrapbook Friday because I couldn’t go to sleep. I think I was so freeking excited about having days off that I didn’t want to waste the day light. I finally crashed and didn’t get up until late evening. I can’t even remember what we did in the evening…but he eventually went to work..I worked on Farm Town on Facebook…tried to get caught up on Facebook and gave up because I’m so far behind…watched a couple episodes of shows I had recorded…watched Gray’s Anatomy…not the most recent but the one before that..I had to watch it on line because it didn’t record for some reason…isn’t technology just the bust….
Saturday…I slept later than planned, Helen called 3X with reasons why I needed to go over there. I cleaned the house, did a couple of loads of laundry…worked the Farm on Farm Town…then scrapbooked while everyone was sleeping…
Ryan didn’t race today…needed something else for his car…so the kids and Carl and Jane and us went to Hoo Hot (because I can’t think how it is really spelled) then they treated us to ice cream at Cold Stone or Stone Cold…my first…then to starbucks for coffee…then stopped at Prairie Meadows Casino and thru away $40. Everyone went with $20…I gambled away his and mine…I was up by $20 at one point but grrrrrrr I just couldn’t stop.
Fell asleep in the recliner while he watched that old movie about fighter pilots starring the actor who is the wierd scientologist who jumped on Oprah’s couch…
He went to bed and I decided I had to get caught up on everyone’s life…I’ve been out of the loop so long, I can’t even get caught up…
Anyway…what a thrilling blog..but this is what I’ve been doing… I hope I haven’t missed an injury, illness or bad news along the way and really hope I haven’t missed something that needs to be celebrated!!!
Until next time….
I’m just giddy…I’m 55 minutes away from 3 days off…it was a typical Thursday night in Jasper County…dispatch got hammered with calls…hammered, haha…I got to work with a lot of my favorite people tonight which made it more pleasant…Rod..if you are reading this…please don’t think I was referring to you, you mud monster…
Scrapbooking today with Debbie and Karen…Saturday will be my day to get caught up on everything…Sunday I will probably do lunch with Helen and then off to Stuart, Iowa for Ryan’s first race….
Think I screwed up this week by not looking for mushrooms…seems they are very plentiful…if I go with this positive attitude, I will probably find some on Saturday;. One year, I picked 2 five gallon buckets full….
Elizabeth Edwards on Oprah Thursday…if you get a chance, watch the show…she is a remarkable woman…she has a wonderful way of looking at life, life with cancer and life with that unfaithful husband of hers…Her book, Resiliance, is out and I plan to get it… Judging from the close-up of the John’s face, I think Oprah may have made him very nervous…
I love this picture of Frannie and Baxter playing…it started out nice like this…this cat and this dog have so much fun together…Baxter started it this time…usually Frannie walks by him and knocks him down with her foot and the play is on.
Until next time……
::Edit:: I’m horrified that my kitchen floor looks so dirty!!!!
Monday lived up to its reputation…He woke me up at 16:30 and something just wasn’t right. I was barely functioning, my stomach was upset…I had no desire to do anything (not even facebook)…later the gastro stuff started….if I called in sick, I would lose some OT pay … but around 2030, I realized it just wouldn’t work for me to go in there so Kim stayed over for me…around 3am I started feeling “better” so I called in and went into work…here I sit at 0518…still kind of funky but capable.
That’s the story of my day……
Until next time…..