I have been off the stuff for several weeks now.  My drug of choice – Diet cherry Dr Pepper.  It was my decision to cleanse my body of the drink and the aspartame.  Mostly the aspartame.  I have to start somewhere in my endeavor to live as long as I possibly can.  To my knowledge, I’ve only had a fake sugar product once in the last few weeks and that was the sugar free syrup I had on my powder and water pancakes the other night.  Sugar free maple syrup was sweet..but what a disappointment not to have my clear Karo syrup on my pancakes.  The whole Karo syrup discussion will be saved for another blog..suffice to say that I knew Jenny and Justin were going to be a match made in heaven when I learned that he also prefers Karo syrup over maple syrup, etc.

Back to the point…after everything I read about fake sugar – and I”m lumping them together because I don’t believe there is a healthy one – I decided it along with margarine were probably killing me one teaspoon at a time.  Surprisingly, I’m finding I’m having less sugar and starch cravings – this could all be the placebo effect…but the cravings for a pop just doesn’t stop.  It’s not as bad as the ordeal of my personal anti smoking campaign…but I think about a pop several times a day.  There HAS TO BE SOMETHING in pop that makes it physically addictive.  I don’t think I’m JUST nuts!

I dropped 8 pounds pretty quickly without really trying.  I would like to believe this has something to do with my habit change – so I can feel good about the decision I made.  There’s that little argument in my head every day…just one won’t hurt  grrrrrr

Until next time….

Quiet thoughts on noise….

Occasionally,  I looked forward to having the house to myself..  I require quiet time in my day to recharge…sometimes to just be alone.  To not hear someone elses noise – chewing, breathing, sneezing, coughing…you get it.  I can be in the house alone all day and barely utter a peep to the critters.   I seem to be very sensitive to noise.  Very sensitive.  Loud noises startle me.   Other noises irritate me.  It’s an inner thing not a bitch thing.  I usually go to bed early, watch the Young and the Restless which I had recorded earlier in the day and fall asleep.  Often he comes into the room…doesn’t say anything but opens drawers, talks to the cats, moves around, breathes and I have to pause the TV so as not to get totally irritated.  Once he gets the ear plugs in and starts reading, I can resume my activity without distraction.  It’s not like he is making noise on purpose…he just seems to need to make noise…and I am confident it is me and not him …. I think he is just making normal living and breathing noise.  At least he doesn’t sing, whistle or talk non-stop.  I would be saving up on wine corks.  I like to play my music loud…but listening to a few of his songs loud and I’m climbing the walls.  We don’t like the same music AT ALL.. I only play my music loud when I”m alone because I feel if he has to listen to my music then I should in turn listen to his.  Can’t do it!

The strange thing loudness doesn’t bother me in crowds or concerts or bars…although restaurant noise can put me over the edge.  Will you be my therapist?

Until next time….

If you feel you are going to have to pray for me, don’t read this!

What I am about to say will probably burn to the touch some of my “religious” friends.  I hope if you are reading this and are a God fearing organized religion supporter that you will step back and realize I’ve been on both sides of the aisle.  Most of the church going, fatalist, God fearing christians that I know do not take kindly to differences of opinion from those who are not of the same belief and judged to be wrong..

Thought that has been on my heart for quite a while now…does God fearing (which now makes no sense to me) christian people who believe that God knows everything you are doing and the million of your other closest friends..those of you who keep praying for this and that…those of you who keep thanking God for the good stuff in their life…but interestingly not the bad.  Thanks for my mother dying…thanks for the drought..thanks for the flood…you got me here…are these folks apathetic to their own accomplishments.  Is this one of the problems of our society.  Those with children’s sunday school in the upbringing…do we believe that we are not responsible for our actions because God has control.  Do we not beam in our accomplishments because they aren’t our accomplishments – they are Gods.  All you have to do is watch a Sunday football game to see the touchdown hero pointing to the sky…because he’s giving it all to God…uh ha.  Of course, the opposing team is only lead by the devil.  Do you religious folks not see how silly that looks and sounds.

I can think of a couple of people I know who are probably on their hands and knees asking God to forgive my soul.  I don’t need to hear from you…you are way past believing you have the right to think for yourself…don’t bother…but does this make sense to you spiritual, loving people out there?

Until next time….


I’m so lazy today that I have given good consideration to leaving the full, hot coffee mug sitting on the Keurig so I don’t have to actually get up and walk alllll the wayyy in there to get it.  I have been able to take my foot and move a couple of tufts of hair away from the chair leg of the dining room table.  Do other people have these occasional non function days or is it just me.  Normally the guilt playing scenarios in my mind are enough to motivate me or just the possibility that I won’t have moved by 4 o’clock and will have to admit to him that I would really like to just start this day over!!!

At least I hope he reads this before he comes home so he will know to stick a mirror under my nose just in case!

Until next time…


It’s not that unusual…if you are a cat

Living in a home dominated by cats has taught me to close the closet door in the bedroom so as not to have my underclothes strewn down the hall because he could not find a mouse to present…Benjamin Franklin.

If you don’t claim your food and protect it…you have nothing to fear from the dogs.  The best surprise is when I find him licking the butter off my toast in the morning.  William Jefferson Clinton.

I adore you, mom but if you scratch my lower belly, I will bite your arm…just sayin’ I’m not one of the other cats you can just pet anywhere and expect me to love it….and don’t think I’m going to share my spot with Bill Clinton.   Baxter

If you hold me to give me a pill, put anti flea med on my neck, carry me to the vet or pick me up to just love and pet me when I greet you in the morning, the police will come.  I can be as loud as I need to be….I scream.  Harry S Truman.

They think I’m scared of everything….I may not have any claws but I have teeth so back off…they call me Minnie.

Scratching the bedroom door at 3am to be let in.  Hogging the bed.  Trying to cover up mom’s coffee because it smells bad.  Loving Pate wet canned food but only certain kinds…..even as I am almost too hungry to meow.  Laying in front of the computer screen, sneezing on the computer screen, sitting in front of the computer screen so you can catch the cursor, running up and down the keys of the piano.

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It’s what we do….

Hard decisions…

Julie’s visitation was last night (Friday night) and our nephew’s wedding rehearsal and dinner was at the same time.  Same situation with today’s funeral and wedding.  I was feeling a lot of emotional angst as to what I should do last night.  My friend, Deb Williams, gave me what I believe was the best advice…she told me to be with my family.  Family comes first. So that is what I did.  I believe it was the right decision although my Katy said that she was sure the family would understand because people die and no one expects it.


I love this picture…especially because it appears that we have a photobomber…That’s George…he is the oldest of the Brown brothers and he was sitting at the table with me.   In the background on the left is “him”, their brother Lee who is father of the groom.  Sean – the groom and his brother Ryan.  This is probably going to be the family event of the year…all of the cousins except one will be together in one place which is the first time since 1996 at their grandfather’s funeral. 

Today Sean and Lindsay say, I DO.  Lindsay is already family but now we will get to call her Lindsay Brown…yay.

He and I are relaxing this morning, I got up to get a cup of coffee away from our irritating Words of Wonder game on Facebook and the view of the backyard made me stop in my tracks.


For a split second, I thought to myself…WHAT ARE WE DOING leaving this view.  I suppose if I didn’t have these thoughts something would be wrong with me.

It’s going to be a great day…

Until next time….

When it stops….

I have NOT been the least bit afraid of retirement.  What will you do?  What if the retirement money isn’t enough?  Aren’t you nervous about not working?  No not really…although I do look at my life right now and wonder how I”m going to feel when all of the stress just stops.  Oh, I’m not really complaining…I’m very lucky..most of my stress is self made by decisions I make or have made..I take responsibility..and this job…it’s a good job and I couldn’t really have better bosses…but the stress of dealing with negativity all day long and knowing what horrible things happen to people without their consent…that is what is stressful….that is what goes home with me at night…accidents, medical emergencies and crazy people who have gone bad!

Somehow on my way to work this morning…this helped me put it all into perspective….


I followed it all the way to work…it seemed to get bigger and brighter.  It………perspective.

Until next time….


Barefoot in the morning…

I snickered to myself this morning while walking between the bedroom to the kitchen because I turned on lights as I traveled the well worn path.  I have cats.  The number one fear is a hairball…if you have every stepped on a hairball, you will totally get me here.  Number two reason is we can’t seem to get the cats to put their toys away.  Small plastic balls, cloth mice, and everything in between.  If you have ever stepped on a small plastic cat ball with a squeaker inside, you will get me here.  Number three reason is the season.  It is fall.  I live in the country.  I have cats who like to play with baby mice and then don’t pick up after themselves..if you have ever nearly stepped on a once live mouse…you get me.

Friends are reeling from the loss of Julie Johnson in our lives.  My friend, GHog said that last Sunday morning she was in the front row of his Sunday school class and now she is gone…she’s the first one of our group to pass on…that jars everything deep down inside.

It’s my Monday – I crave peace and gentleness!

Until next time….

R.I.P. Julie

This morning I received one of those phone calls.  One from a dear friend telling me that one of our own has passed away.  I last saw Julie at the Rising Sun Youth Group reunion a few short months ago.  I sat next to her and we caught up on each others lives.  She said a couple of things in conversation that I wanted to talk to her more about.  A couple of times I was going to make an effort to contact her so she could finish her thoughts.  I didn’t do it.  Now she is gone.  Life is short and precious!

I had to laugh

p>You know that feeling when you are driving somewhere – usually alone – you arrive at your destination or…squirrel…something knocks you out of your trance and you have no idea how you got there because you have been in a hypnotized state since the last time you can remember something getting your attention.  Well, it is like me and the Des Moines Register.  I read the obituaries.  The last several times, I’ve gotten some alert that says I have “x” number of free views…I know now that I’ve seen them, but that ah ha moment ticked me off none the less this morning when I was told I’ve had all of the free views I’m gonna have unless I shuck out 10 dollars a month to read the paper on line.

KCCI bumbling Kevin Cooney has been saying for some time – OUR FREE WEB SITE – this must be what he is talking about.

$10 a month – hell no – there are many other places to get my news….and I’ll be retired so I can just bookmark all of the web sites for funeral homes.

That’s what irritated me this morning.

Until next time….