Ward to June

You know, June, I wouldn’t have to keep replacing the fuse on this toaster if you would quit pulling the plug out with the cord.

I seriously love this man!  I took this sweeper apart twice, cleaned everything including the filters and it still won’t vacuum right…..enter Ward who WAS downstairs hanging doors….using a tiny screwdriver to dig hair out of one tiny roller and good as new.  I’m in no way saying a woman can’t do what a man can do but in my life, June needs Ward.

Until next time…..

Trying to balance my day

Like most other democrats, I’m still thinking about Michelle Obama’s speech at the democratic convention last night.  I’m feeling more peace of mind watching the democrats in action than I did watching the republicans….I’m one of those people who sits through and listens to each side of the argument as a confirmation in my own mind that I really believe what I think I believe.  I often wonder if others so that too and if they do, how can everyone not see the difference?  That’s it for politics.

After years of  begging and whining about him giving me an architectural arch in my houses, he did the best thing possible…an arch in the wall in a craft room he is building for me.

I’m so happy! 💜💜💜.  I finished painting yesterday ….. It’s purple.  It’s going to feel so good to have a room for my stuff ….a room that I won’t have to share with him, grandkids or cats!

With my people pleaser mentality, I take it personally when I’m not respected.  It takes a long time for me to actually decide that I’m not willing put additional energy into working on a relationship.  I can count on one hand the times I’ve actually verbally put an end to a friendship….said…okay, I’m done….maybe it has actually only been once that I have stood up for myself and decided to not have any contact with that person and made it clear that they understood.  I have backed away from relationships but usually keep an open line because once I care about you, I always care about you but just don’t need to be a part of daily drama.  I can’t figure out if I just get too enmeshed in friendships…a personality quirk….or if I’m just afraid someone will not like me.  A recent conversation has sent me over the line. I’ve been struggling this week trying to figure out how I feel, what makes me feel the way I do and what I’m going to do about it.  The only thing I Have figured out is I will no longer allow someone to disrespect me, I will not accept cruel verbiage and I have weighed the value of that friendship in my daily life.  If you read my blog and have an opinion, I Would really like to know how you deal with friendships that go south and/or how you respect friendships.

Oh.  And while I was typing this, spilling my guts, I think Baxter helped himself to tuna from my bowl.  Oh well…Meow

Until next time…..

Blinking light street

I’ve been agonizing for a few days about a trip to the DMV to register the Rogue….and just like the last time, it was painless.  I’ve decided that I need to delete my first two experiences there and change my attitude.  I’m only familiar with Iowas streamlined auto registration procedure…Missouri could follow Iowas lead and save a bundle of money or at least a bundle of bad karma.  I saw an employee leaving for lunch today and she was greeted by a friend waiting for DMV service…she spoke to her friend and said sorry I didn’t see you, I normally walk out of here looking straight ahead to avoid the hate stares.  It’s not the employees, it’s the government process with the comment card box sitting at each station.  I’ve only run into one clerk who apparently hates her job and takes it out on the public and has figured out the slower you work, the less public you have to deal with.  AAaahhhh public service jobs….I get it.

The road between Pleasant Hill and the county seat, Harrisonville, is detoured.  Not being familiar with the area I drove several miles out of my way around the construction which I found out was right in Harrisonville.  ON my detour, I came upon a 4 way blinking caution light for an intersection that was named…Blinking Light Street.  I kid you not.  NOw I want to know if the street has always been named Blinking light and there just so happens to be a flashing yellow or if they installed the flashing light when electricity was first brought to the area and just named the street for the light.  BTW I followed traffic through Harrisonville and was able to get myself back on 7 Highway to home without an official detour.  Yes….highways are designated with the number first followed by Highway…You gotta love Missouri for its uniqueness!

Until next time….

Fish caught in a net on the shoreline baking in the sun

It has been so hot in the last few weeks that I cannot force myself to go outside and when I do step outside I’m unable to contain the audible grown followed by ITS SO HOT out here! It’s  too hot to walk Frannie down the street.  It’s too hot to walk around to find Pokémons, it’s too hot to water flowers.  I feel the same internal restlessness that I used to feel when I lived in the boonies during winter in Iowa with 5ft snow drifts and bitter cold temperatures.  I also have a new partial plate of teeth that I can’t get used to.  The section that sits under my tongue behind my front teeth feels like it’s sitting on the only nerve I have left.  Add to that my inability to be responsible and turn the TV off thus listening to all of the aggravating political BS along with hearing everyday how humans are killing each other….it’s makes me feel like a fish caught in a net on the shoreline baking in the sun.

I usually handle differences of opinion with aplomb.  You don’t have to agree with me and, quite frankly, I couldn’t care less.  I’m up for a good discussion …. One never knows what one might learn….but normally the difference of opinion has no real bearing on the relationship (as far as I’m concerned).  Right now…full blown differences of opinion not only have me biting my tongue bloody but biting my fingertips bloody to reign in my rage at what other people think and express.

I’m getting my personal feelings down on my blog.  I thought once I expressed this in writing, it would make me feel better….I guess I was wrong….

until next time….

I have been reading both sides of the issue 

My problem is what facts are actually facts.  While I realize that the authors are going to sway an article toward their understanding of history, their current situations and their religious beliefs/color of their skin, I always try to sort through the rhetoric to determine MY validity to the written words…using my filter of religious belief/color of my skin, understanding of history and my current situation.

I used to say that the racism by the people of my parents generation was just going to have to die with them.  But, I’m finding we (I) are (am) loosening the scab of my parents generation and my personal high school experiences and starting to bleed a little.  I’m getting angry and I don’t like where this is going.  I’m starting to view this race/cop through the angry filters of my youth as a whitey.

While I have eased my way over to the moderate liberal views during my adult years, I’ve also been paying attention to the Trump rhetoric that so many have hooked onto.  My question is this.  What happens if America elects a trump agenda for this country?  What happens if we have a more conservative/racist president leading the country?  Is it possible that less social programs/less tolerance for human rights/putting the fence up for immigration.  What happens if all Americans are required to work to support themselves and/or pull together to survive?  This very likely could be our future.  What happens then?  Or will we relive the 50s….will self described white/black/every other color America start shooting it out in the streets to defend their particular heritage and perceived racial association?  Will we really commence fighting with a larger scale of warriors and crime…will I as a white, suburban retiree start having to worry about my safety?  Will I have to buy more guns to protect my little dot in the world.  Is this where we are going?  Do we need to once and for all fight it out until there is a victor?  And then, what about the terrorists from other countries?

Or should we all start smoking some pot and mellow the hell out?

Until next time….

Bad Manners

The A. In the outline of my discomfort is when people don’t respect other people.  This is such a broad category but I can narrow it down a few subcategories.

  • Rude and snarky with people you don’t know or don’t understand
  • Rude and snarky because people lack empathy
  • Rude and snarky out of jealousy
  • Rude and snarky out of ignorance
  • Rude and snarky because this is how you have learned from upbringing or past personal pain

Rude and snarky are negative and when negativity is continuously put out there…negativity takes over.

By using a little compassion and empathy for others, the rude and snarky feelings will begin to diminish inside and the outcome is more peace and love replacing the hatred and anger!

Sometimes it is only necessary to not wear your real feelings on your sleeve and put a smile and compassion out there and the negativity will begin to evaporate.  For the most part, rude and snarky people aren’t respected nor liked!

Until next time….

1 year post kidney cancer

The last 6 months or after Christmas, I started slipping into an internal fear/unsettled/down mood.  I think it had to do a lot with his heart attack and bypass surgery…that feeling of none of us really being immortal.  With what we had been through in 2015, I didn’t feel I Was too far off the mark and everyone would probably feel the same way.  I lost some of my joy.  With a diagnosis of cancer, I wonder if everything really ever goes back to normal…like when my dad died everything was remembered as before dad died and after dad died.  Now I have a different benchmark…before cancer diagnosis and after cancer diagnosis.

Complicate that with some differing opinions about some lung nodules found on earlier CT scans.  Very small nodules.  The hospital doctors said they were so small that she wouldn’t have even had them checked….another doctor says we need to keep an eye on them.  The urologist told me that he was very confident that if the nodules were anything, they would not be metasticized cancer because he was sure he got it all with the kidney.  but the fear is always there.

Wednesday was my just-over-a-year cancer check….everything is good.  Dr office called this morning to confirm the CT scan was clear, lung X Ray was good and blood tests were normal.

I look at this as permission to get on with it.  Live today like,there is no tomorrow and repeat.

Until next time…..

Just the highlights



After 42 years, I finally visited my alma mater on Monday.  It was just okay.  So many building changes …. Add a wing here, put a wall there…I only had a couple of feelings of nostalgia ….one was visiting the front main hall and the entrance to what used to be the front entrance and the other was walking up and down the well worn stairs that led to my home room.  It was fun to go back but I didn’t leave with the ahhhhhh that was great feeling.

Had lunch with old friends, Rod and Kim today.  Kim didn’t want her picture posted on FB but she didn’t mention my blog but figured I would get the same answer.  Old friends just seem to fall into the conversations and habits learned over many years together in spite of geographical separation!

Tomorrow I have my just over a year CT scan to check the plumbing and be sure there is no evidence there is cancer hiding out.  For the most part, I’m not stressing but the unknown always haunts me.  I’ll let you know.

Until next time……

We left Minnesota….

With temps in the 70s after some overnight rainfall…in fact, other than Minnesota blood sucking mosquitos, we enjoyed cool evenings on the patio….

We drove 4 hours south to Indianola for a Slipstream concert at the Summerset winery….it has been said they he and I are Slipstream groupies….it is true…I really miss being able to attend several of their concerts in the summer around central Iowa.

The band is excellent and their musicality gets better every time we see them.  The beautiful person singing in this photo has the voice of an angel yet can belt out Heart’s Baracuda better than Heart!  Visited with old friends from Newton (also groupies)?  We met the brother in law and sister in law at the concert as well as my childhood friend Sue.  Imagine our surprise when Sue and I see each other and we are wearing the same shirt…

We assured people several times that we didn’t plan it nor did we know the other one had the shirt.  A friends like sisters connection!

After a trip another few miles to Waukee, Iowa for an art festival with more family, we collapsed into bed sunburned and exhausted…but a good kind of exhaustion!

That was Sunday.

Until next time…..

First….we went to Minnesota

It has been several years since we have traveled north of Des Moines on I35…particularly near the Iowa/Minnesota border…miles and miles of wind generators…such a beautiful site for a tree hugger!

We spent a good part of the weekend with brother and sister-in-law in New Ulm, MN and Mankato, MN…..two of the cleanest cities I’ve ever visited.

A hike through Minneopa State Park at Mankato….seeing, hearing and feeling this waterfall made it worth it.

Look a this beautiful organ in their living room…

And I leave you with a picture of the Herman the German monument in New Ulm

Until next time….