I love those ah-ha moments

I really hope that the public that I deal with is not a good representation of our society; if so, we are going to hell in a hand basket so to speak.  I had a call this morning from a woman who was madder than a wet hen…she was mad because she works the overnight shift and was trying to get to sleep but the “85 year old – old man” next door was running his leaf blower.  Now I am not criticizing this woman in the least bit…sleeping days and working nights can be a challenge but here was my ah-ha moment…when I explained that it wasn’t illegal to run his leaf blower after 7am and asked if she had explained to her neighbor..she interupted me and said..WELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING WITH THE LEAF BLOWER…HE IS DRYING HIS CAR WITH IT…HE DOES IT EVERY MORNING..WASHES HIS CAR AND DRIES IT WITH THE LEAF BLOWER, I YELLED AT HIM THE OTHER DAY BUT HE SAID HE COULD DO WHATEVER HE WANTED TO DO.  Judging from the fact that she wigged out on me so early in the conversation, and her description of what she said to him and, here I am just guessing, but probably HOW she said it to him, what does she expect really…now this 85 year old – old man could be a horses’ ass and really doesn’t care..but what if she had a calm conversation with him using a nice, calm voice with a neighborly attitude, would he have said…oh yes, of course I will wait to blow dry my car with the leaf blower until a more reasonable moment..or perhaps he would say..Oh, of course I can let the car air dry…but my guess is the leaf blower at 0700 every morning is for her benefit and her benefit only….AND IT WORKS!!!

Seems we have lost the art of neighborlyness or, quite frankly, just respect and kindness.  People, in general, are just not nice…the attitude I get on a regular basis is unbelievable..and I”m not just talking about how many times I hear the “F” word….I’m talking about downright bad manners..and to go one step further, I’m not talking about anything that is important to life and limb….I’m talking about adults acting like children with he said this and she said that…  don’t answer the phone if you are getting harassing phone calls…don’t you think the harasser will get tired of the game if it is just him/her playing it…speak, wave and treat your neighbor kindly and perhaps he will sell the leaf blower, where did this us against them mentality come from?  Where did this martyr or defensive attitude come from.  Who is really out to get you… kindess begats kindness and agression begats agression…we are in trouble….

Until next time…. 

 

the healing phase takes a long time….

WOW what a week this has been…I’ve had all of my non-working time to myself for the most part… I did have some social engagements with my daughter, et al and my old friend, Suzie…but the rest of the time, I’ve been cleaning, sorting, organizing and on archives.com and ancestry.com trying to figure out what happened in my mother’s life prior to my birth that messed her up so much.

I’m not going to drag her name thru the mud, but some of the things I found out and some of the pictures I found are very disheartening.  I have no idea who this woman was…when mom died, my girls were going thru stuff at break-neck speed trying to find out family secrets…they obviously over looked one small box which contained it all…the rest I was able to get from the internet and seemingly innocent comments made by people who knew her and the family and me.  Jenny asked me if my feelings about her had changed…I indicated yes, that they have changed, but not for the better, but I do feel a kind of validation and justification for my years with her…I feel the death bed conversation I had with her about God and dying and going to heaven etc etc was the only true gut level, genuine conversation I had with her in 53 years.  Sad…very, very sad.  Can’t really say I hate her now but what I can say is I feel totally removed from her now…that feeling seems much healthier than hating her…I no longer see her as the totally pathetic innocent victim.  I think I can move on.

AND MOVING ON.  Phil comes home tomorrow from Mexico…at first with his absence, I felt giddy…I can do WHATEVER, WHENEVER as long as it wasn’t illegal or immoral..fattening was still an option.  By Sat and Sun, I was just pissed off and lonely…I wanted him to come home..I didn’t like being alone, I have to feed the dogs both morning and night, but I can watch whatever I want to watch on the big TV…Monday rolls around and I realize what fun I’ve been having; but it will be nice to see him again…today I roll back and forth like a dog and a ball…I want him home..but the freedom has been fun, but it will be soooo good to have him home, yes…I wish he were coming home tonight…maybe one last night laying crosswise in the bed won’t be too bad…

Until next time….