When the anxiety horn blows

I’ve been trying to blog for several days…in fact right now I’m trying to figure out how to put words together.  I feel I need to get it out of my head so I can shut it down and reel in my anxiety.

Nothing bad has happened….life has happened….but the complication of being an empath has fueled the fires of hell in my mind. I know, intellectually, what I need to do to get a grip but I am going to have to handcuff the part of my brain that does not allow me to avoid so I can to actually accomplish it.

Without going into any detail…suffice to say that when all of a sudden those connected to you start having minor health and common mentally challenging events, I, as an empath, take on those emotions…I can’t explain it, I just feel it.  If you are an empath, you totally understand, if you are not an empath, just read along.

When several minor things happen to those around you, it can be completely overwhelming and if you just go with the flow and fail to arm yourself from these growing life events, eventually the nasty overwhelming feelings take over your peace of mind. For me, that is where destructive anxiety takes over.  Anxiety for me is the inability to have calm, inability to think rationally.  Many times when the sun goes down, my fear and morbid thoughts rage and I’m stuck with heart racing, irrational fear of anything that could possibly happen.

I know this.  I have experienced it too many times in my life not to understand it.  I get complacent, I don’t use the skills I’ve learned to deal with it in the beginning.  I must back away from everyone’s energy.  I must fine my peace in solitude

Until next time……

I will try

I woke up peacefully this morning.  I slept with the drapes over the open deck door wide open last night and the view overwhelmed me with contentment……I allowed myself the luxury of laying in bed drifting in and out of light dozing and soaking in the love and friendship of the girls weekend in Des Moines.


As fall weather starts the slow creep with cool overnight temperatures, I hope to wake each morning feeling love and peace and remove myself from the pain that seeps in during the day from the news of what is happening in our country.  because I can’t physically do anything about the ugliness all around me, I will endeavor to combine my peacefulness and love collectively with other loving souls and send it quietly out into the universe.  This will be a challenge to close myself off to the negative I allow to be fed to me.  But, I will try.

Until next time…..

I have been hesitant to talk about this

Mainly because in the past, I have had no faith in the the stories about psychics.  I am sharing this story because it has been an overwhelming event in my life and I’m sharing it in my blog for my personal documentation of the event.  Here is the condensed version.

On June 27th, he and I did some trail walking at Burr Oak conservation area north of us in Blue Springs.  As we ambled along the trails, we came to a wooden viewing area over a creek bed.  As I stood at the railing taking in nature, I was gripped by an extremely weird feeling….a chilling feeling that someone had died there.  At first, I turned to him and said, I think someone committed suicide here.  I was convinced that if I looked down, I would see a body.  When we turned away from the area and continued on our walk, the feeling left me…physically…but I have been haunted? with the memory every day since it happened.

It was so real to me that when we got home, I began an extensive google search to see if I could find anything in the news.

In the next few days, I shared my experience with a couple of people I trust who I know are Intuitives…I needed someone to give me a rationale to what I couldn’t seems to remove from my thoughts.

3 days ago during meditation, I had a fleeting image of a man laying on his side.  The image was not so much the body but the head with a cap on.  I felt like it was a soldier.  It did not bother me other than where did that come from.

Yesterday following my meditation, I was compelled to google civil war Blue Springs.

I became very emotional when I read this


The Morgan Walker Farm is now Pink Hill Park


I, of course, will have no way of knowing if this has anything to do with my experience, but I am content in my beliefs.

….and that’s my story.