Because of my upbringing which I can sum up as do what you are told, no need to have a mind of your own because this is what you believe and this is what you will do, it took me a long time to realize that I was going to begin stepping out in my own direction. I still followed rules and, for the most part, laws, but I learned through experience that if you continue doing what you’ve always done and think with the same mind you used before, then you will have the exact same outcome. BUT…if you pay attention to nuances (which I now call intuition), speak with respect, do your homework and intelligently defend your case, then sometimes rules will be changed. I also learned that if the rules don’t change, you can either suck it up and follow the rules which MAY be the appropriate behavior or more likely for me, I would get mad…scream and holler in my head …. then organize like- minded individuals and go at it again…. being sure to attach some negative emotion to it so that in 20 or more years later, similar emotions about similar situations can rise up and before you know it you are overwhelmed in anger and hatred and vengeance which will probably be overblown for the situation…ie:road rage. There are many years and many experiences that have occurred before which exploded this workable problem into a full blown battle in your head. When they rise up, you will be reacting and responding the way you did 20 or more years ago to a completely different situation….the cycle just continues throughout life.
What did I just read or hear the other day..something to the effect….you can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it.
My opinion as to the answer is not going to come from me in a 3 paragraph blog, or quite frankly, from me at all…I’m learning and all I can really share is what got me from there to where I am now sharing my thoughts on my blog, but I will credit the PRACTICE of meditation, the book Mastery of Self by Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr…his daddy wrote the Four Agreements, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer or A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
Until next time…
Ninasusan 
If you’re going to meditate, take it slowly. If you calm your mind, all that subconscious stuff can come to the surface. You shoved it underground for a reason. Be gentle with yourself. Get a shrink, if need be. But sometimes, there just is no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. Meditation can provide amazing benefits and/or bring up repressed trauma from when you were three years old. Be gentle with yourself.
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I have a lot to say about meditation. Maybe I will say it here instead of on my own.
So I am currently going through a bunch (sorry – technical term) of studying, some formal some not, of meditation and the different types available. I want to be able to add leading meditation to my skill list at the cancer center. Because of that I will go back to a formal meditation practice for awhile.
I spent some time wondering about why I don’t regularly meditate. I completely and wholeheartedly believe in the benefits.
I think through most of my life I used my own form of meditation. I learned how to quiet the chaos in my mind, and the chaos going on around me and let stuff go. Just release and renew, just like you do on a computer. Stop everything, and then come back and see if it looks the same, and if you react the same. The moment when you realize almost nothing is as urgent, or important as you thought 90 seconds earlier.
Just my weird Tracy thought for the day. Good timing on your part.
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This came up recently at a class I attended. One woman said she meditated when she walked. I agreed…I’ve done it by saying crack every time I crossed one which works by silencing the monkey brain…the incessant chatter but I also love guided meditation…and it has taken practice to Buddha sit with body in position and go silent…I can do maybe 7 seconds but each t8me your mind wanders and u bring it back to quiet you are a winner!!!
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