My day off.  I went to bed around 5am after getting off at 0200…I slept until about 7 and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was meeting Ryan and Jenny and Kimba and her family at Uncle Nancy’s for coffee because I wanted to see her granddaughter, Olivia…the O-train…that is not to say I wasn’t happy to see everyone else.  When I got home, I thought I was going to die…how did I ever function on no sleep when I was younger…consequently I slept on the couch off and on all afternoon and evening.  I’m wide awake now and you guys are all sleeping 🙂

I did get caught up on some xanga blogs and am actually still grinning from some of them…

It snowed most of the day today…not much accumulation…I am so thankful I am not working – sorry msmandylee.

Tomorrow is my last day for fantasy football because my record is 4-8…one of the guys renamed his team “beat by a girl” because I beat him last week…I got lucky, believe me.  Still love playing…its the planning and the smack talk that I really love…

I’m going to watch things I have recorded and off and on vacuum before I go to bed tonight…actually I’m going to vacuum because I can’t stand the critter hair…I have been very lazy with housework this week..now that I’m back on a regular schedule, I will try to do better 🙂

Until next time….

I am thankful I’m not Laura Bush.  I’m also very thankful I live in a country where I can speak my mind..I am very thankful for the men and women who have served our country fighting for my freedom in the past, in the present and those who will serve in the future.  I am thankful for my family and my extended family and my friends who are like family to me…I’m thankful to have a well paying job and that he has a well paying job…I”m thankful that things have not always been easy for me because I’ve grown because of it.  Winning over hard times gives me a sense of accomplishment…thanks to Mr. Hall for making me step out of my comfort zone when I most needed someone to have faith in me to ease me out of my complacency.  I have enough food to eat, obviously, I have a warm home, I have my critters…I have been given another day to feel content.

Until next time….

I am thankful for you.

If you don’t like how you’re feeling, stop doing what you are doing….I’m trying..I’m trying.

I used to poo poo (well, now that term dates me, doesn’t it) when I would hear those over 50 say that life has never been better than when you get over the hill…in my frayed, negative, overwhelmed state, I could never understand how this was possible.  I’m kinda feeling it.  I don’t think I really have less of any of the negative stuff going on in my life – but in some ways…the negative power is crumbling because 1) some things are no longer important to me; 2)if you don’t like me or the way I think, stay far away; 3)with just the two of us in the house, the work load has lightened so much; 4)maybe I’ve just changed my priorities; 5)Other than work, I really don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do ie. I’ve learned to say no; 6) the crazy hormones are waning.

I’ve gone downstairs twice to put clothes in the dryer only to find out that “he” has done it for me…and he’s taken the clothes out of the dryer and folded them into a basket…have I said anything about it…No…I think it is because by the time I get back upstairs, I’ve forgotten it.  Tonight I made my way down stairs to clean out the litter box…it was already cleaned out… I thanked him but he doesn’t really know how much I appreciate it.

I felt the need to change my xanga background theme tonight…I still haven’t figured out why this becomes important.  One day it is fine…the next day it must be changed.  While I’m clicking thru them, I was thinking that I would kind of like to make up my own but I actually have enough hobbies and projects now that I don’t need to take something else on…maybe later…then I came upon this wood background…and I immediately thought of “him” and that we were walking around Lowes the other night and were over in the wood section and he took a deep breath and said – oh, I love the smell of wood (he has a long history of carpentry) and I knew I had to choose this background…so honey, when you check my blog, just know it is for you.

Until next time….

I have worked 2 fatal accidents in the last week and a half…they always send me into an analytical process…the one last week, the deputy came across not too long after it happened – the car was upside down…she lived for a few days but in the end, there was nothing that human could do to save her life in any form.  This morning’s early morning accident probably happened around 2am but was not found until about 6:50…the man and woman were dead at the scene…I have heard that the couple was out celebrating an anniversary.

I have been working this job for so long that I am no longer shocked about what people do to each other.  I, quite frankly, think there are a lot more sociopaths out there than diagnosed.  Seems accountability and conscience are missing from a lot of folks…either than or there are a lot of drug addled minds out there that should scare the hell out of all of us! 

But what about these accident victims.  Who tells the families…do they already know from sudden awakening at night…what was the relationship when they were last together..are there regrets..do you know when you are going to die or are you just paralyzed by the trauma you think is coming…if you live through the trauma, do things kick-in your brain to calm you or do you feel terror…do you think you are going to die or do you always maintain hope that someone will help you.

Very morbid thoughts – but thoughts that always go thru my mind when I, as the 911 dispatcher, gets mixed up in someone’s life or their death.  Everyone of them leaves a large imprint on my psych..I’ll never forget the morning at 5am I had two emergency calls – one ear were some folks who had a baby not breathing and the other ear was an elderly lady who was having a heart attack….a dispatcher absolutely cannot think about the ramifications of this type of situation, we just react and respond..almost by rote.  I remember it was suggested that this taped situation be played for the Board of Supervisors who govern the county in order to be able to hire more dispatchers…but some thought it was too graphic for someone not in the business to listen to.  WHAT….AND I REPEAT WHAT…it is too graphic for 3 old men who make decision on a daily basis that affect peopls lives but they can’t hear what happens if they make the wrong decision based on their priorities.  Oh Please.

I decided it was time to get the litter box off of the main floor and put it in the basement with the others.  I moved it out in the hallway and left it because he’s going to have to carry it down.  The c-a-t-s are very unsettled…they walk around and look at each other and sit in front of it and I’m pretty sure the 3 of them have ganged up and are talking behind my back.

You know who you are – I finally did it – I started playing the word games from Facebook…this is much worse than that game Alayna sent me for Halloween – where the witch sets up the bowling pins which are actually cats and the little arrow goes back and forth for you to hit with your space bar – it is scored like a bowling game.  I got so sick of hearing that witch yell na ha ha…at least there is no noise to these games…actually I was pretty discouraged in the beginning and felt I was a few vowels short of a full word but practice makes me better…I’ll never catch MB or Tracy but Erin, girl – if we could only get together and take them on 🙂

I cleaned today – cleaned out the hall closet…there was another cat buried in there – well, at least enough hair I scooped up.. I needed somewhere to put the new green machine.  I took a three hour nap and obviously missed supper – and he made exactly what I requested…they were very good, honey.

So, I’m up for a while.  I have to get away from this computer and accomplish something – ha ha – like perhaps watching my DVR recorded shows…yup…I’m a go getter.