Of our disfunction
We fear so we think if we can control everything around us or within us then we will be safe.
Control is an illusion. Learning to let go of my illusion of control, has been a many decade endeavor. I, seriously, believed that once I understood that there is really nothing I can control that the rest would be gravy, so to speak. I really didn’t understand that driving element of fear pressure cooking inside me. I don’t blame my parents or society for my fear but I do question the circumstances surrounding that knowing of where they came from…these depression age people who lived through knowing about the atrocities that can happen if you don’t fight for and protect yourself…just look at what happened to the Jews. The generation grew up fearing scarcity. Perhaps they survived with an oath of never again.
I know this mentality leaked out…as a child, I caught the drips and drifts of the fear cloud that hung over the 50’s and 60’s. There was often something to be afraid of. Keep your head down, don’t brag and fear other people that are not like you!
The gravel road to understanding and healing myself led me to the spiritual inner voice within…not out there…a very simple concept in reality of who we really are but not an overnight fix by any means. It’s all inside me…the answer is right here….not out there…there’s nothing outside there that I need to control….there is nothing out there controlling me.
Oh what you have to go through to get there. But what a relief it is. I saw a hoodie awhile back with Bob Marley’s quote on it, “Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright”. And I wanted it so bad I almost ordered off some maybe maybe not legit site. Because it is, it’s gonna be alright, even if it’s not. I always thought my quote was “Let it Be”. Glad I never did get that tattoo, because it’s changed. This summer has changed me completely. i’m ok with it.
“It’s all inside me”, I love that. “You had the power all along my dear” ❤
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I just read jonathon Livingston seagull again after many years and I did search out and buy a JLS tee shirt because it explains all of this to me and I wanted to wear it and promote the mindset!
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