I believe I am a victim of my own circumstances and my own making…there are perhaps some genetics at play in my life because after all – and I quote my mother, “you come from a long line of big women”.
Oh = holy mother of God…what a great excuse!!!!
Heard it many times…said it many times. If I had known I was going to get old, I would have taken better care of myself.
In every thing we do, we make choices. Sometimes we feel we don’t have any choices or we feel that the choices before us are not ideal…but we make choices…if we choose one little Y in the road different, everything else will turn out different.
I had my followup appointment with the urologist on Wednesday. I cried internal tears of joy when he told me that he got it all within the kidney, the tumor was between 6 and 7 cm in size. He advised me to followup with the pulmonary specialist ref the noted teeny tiny nodules in my lungs but said he was pretty confident that even if there were something there, it would not be a metastasis of kidney cancer. I will see him again in 6 months for x rays and blood tests and again in a year for a ct scan…….I’m the luckiest person alive!!!!!
Later that night, I read up on my particular clear cell RRC. While there are cases of family history and genetics at play in some cases. I do not fall into this category.
Smoking tobacco is the #1 reason I probably developed kidney cancer…google it if you want the particulars….and if you are a tobacco smoker, for God’s sake STOP.
Obesity is the #2 reason I probably developed kidney cancer.
and on and on.
So…I’m not a victim in this scenario. I made very bad decisions. But the early warning siren to clean up my psych and live and eat healthy was received loud and clear.
Until next time….
I’m going to do it…I’m totally freaked out…I took my tape measure to work tonight so Alayna could measure me for a swimming suit…My Land’s End catalog came in the mail and in it are bathing suits that will flatter every figure…now I should be smart enough to know this is a bunch of hooey…in fact a huge pile of hooey…I’m overweight by about 65 or 70 pounds there is not a swimming suit made that is going to look good on me…but I don’t want to spend my summer on the boat wearing a tank top and shorts…and just what if I do want to jump in the water…I won’t…but what if I do…you won’t, Nina remember the last time….what last time…the time you weren’t overweight and you jumped in the water from a boat with no ladder and you were greased up with baby oil..remember..the boys couldn’t pull you in because they couldn’t hold on to you…oh ya…I remember now… well, it’s not like no one knows I’m fat unless I wear a swimming suit. Good Point!!!
I’ve also been looking for a portable potty for the boat. He didn’t understand at first why I could possibly want a potty on the boat…I said, well I don’t really think you want me to be jumping in the water (see story above) and you will be quite irritated if you have to take it to shore everytime I have the urge..so he’s all for it now. I haven’t gotten to Des Moines due to my work schedule and I didn’t order one off the internet because I was sure I would get to Des Moines so I’ve been on the internet frantically checking the availability from one of the box stores. Alayna says I probably should have started doing this before 11 at night…so I think at 0700 I’m going to go on a portable potty mission…I need it by Sunday..Walmart has a hassock one that I can settle for until I find one that has a flushing mechanism…for those of you still with me here…thank you…I’ll quit talking about it now…
I was served a supoena last night to give deposition reference that 24 year old girl that was being held against her will on her way to Des Moines a few weeks back. Sounds like the dirt bag will be going to trial…who knows..maybe I’ll get to meet her…that will be special for me.
Okay…I’m going to place an order….
Until next time….