ugh…the swimming suit

I’m going to do it…I’m totally freaked out…I took my tape measure to work tonight so Alayna could measure me for a swimming suit…My Land’s End catalog came in the mail and in it are bathing suits that will flatter every figure…now I should be smart enough to know this is a bunch of hooey…in fact a huge pile of hooey…I’m overweight by about 65 or 70 pounds there is not a swimming suit made that is going to look good on me…but I don’t want to spend my summer on the boat wearing a tank top and shorts…and just what if I do want to jump in the water…I won’t…but what if I do…you won’t, Nina remember the last time….what last time…the time you weren’t overweight and you jumped in the water from a boat with no ladder and you were greased up with baby oil..remember..the boys couldn’t pull you in because they couldn’t hold on to you…oh ya…I remember now… well, it’s not like no one knows I’m fat unless I wear a swimming suit.  Good Point!!!

I’ve also been looking for a portable potty for the boat.  He didn’t understand at first why I could possibly want a potty on the boat…I said, well I don’t really think you want me to be jumping in the water (see story above) and you will be quite irritated if you have to take it to shore everytime I have the urge..so he’s all for it now.  I haven’t gotten to Des Moines due to my work schedule and I didn’t order one off the internet because I was sure I would get to Des Moines so I’ve been on the internet frantically checking the availability from one of the box stores.  Alayna says I probably should have started doing this before 11 at night…so I think at 0700 I’m going to go on a portable potty mission…I need it by Sunday..Walmart has a hassock one that I can settle for until I find one that has a flushing mechanism…for those of you still with me here…thank you…I’ll quit talking about it now…

I was served a supoena last night to give deposition reference that 24 year old girl that was being held against her will on her way to Des Moines a few weeks back.  Sounds like the dirt bag will be going to trial…who knows..maybe I’ll get to meet her…that will be special for me.

Okay…I’m going to place an order….

Until next time….

6 thoughts on “ugh…the swimming suit

  1. SINCE I KNOW YOU I CAN SAY THIS TO YOU———– YOU’RE NOT FAT!!!!GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL WAIST WELL MAYBE NOT BUT NOW YOU HAVE 2 KIDS AND YOU’RE 20 YEARS OLDER.come to des moines and i’ll put you in a suit you’ll feel comfortable in maybe not 70 pounds lighter but comfortable AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE 70 PDS LIGHTER ANYWAY I FEEL BAD WHEN I READ STUFF LIKE THIS YOU ARE WONDERFUL I WISH YOU COULD FEEL THAT.DEB

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  2. The potty is a MUST on the boat!  We had a boat for a time w/NO potty!  Eeeek!  NO  fun!We live on the ocean and we go to the beach about every weekend on the boat – everyone and their mother is there and everyone and their mother is in a bathing suit!  Having recently lost nearly 100 lbs myself – I totally get the self conscious thing – but really – who cares?!  Get thee in a bathing suit, slap on the sun screen and enjoy yourself!  Life is SO short!

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  3. I loved this entry!  It made me smile.  Well, I was smiling to begin with but it made smile more!  I understand about the bathing suit.  I haven’t worn a bathing suit in 10 years.  Sad that we’re all so self conscious.  Do it! Do it! Do it!  If you look at other people, you rarely look at them and immediately think how bad they look.  Most people are not perfect size 6, but yet everyone still manages to get out and enjoy the sun and the water and the day without mobs forming and throwing rocks.  SHAME ON YOU!!!  Baby Oil on your skin on a boat! SunScreen!SunScreen! SunScreen!Now that I’ve become all opinionated on your xanga…Have a wonderful day.t

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  4. Those Lands End suits are cute this year.  My daughter and I were looking at them yesterday.  Crazy about the deposition. There are many reasons not to jump in the water near Des Moines.  

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  5. If I might be so bold, buy a box of Depnds and a moomoo. That should solve both problems. I believe that’s standard garb among the ancient females in Miami on boating holidays. I hear HRC wears one on the campaign trail too. (Bill wears a chastity belt.) A boat ladder is an option for the pontoon. Check into to that. There are also hydraulic winches used for dredging that could easily be mounted on the deck. You will look funny coming up out of the water in the moomoo either way and you will probably have to change your Depends, but then you’ll have the whole box to work through. Before going in, lose the Depends. You can just pee in the water. When you come back aboard, you can gum down some miniwheats and a cold glass of soy. Then you will be good to go for another splash down. You will need to be careful though. Smaller lakes have BMI restrictions. Check your local listings for restrictions. 

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  6. Absolutely porta potties ae necessary!

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