When the anxiety horn blows

I’ve been trying to blog for several days…in fact right now I’m trying to figure out how to put words together.  I feel I need to get it out of my head so I can shut it down and reel in my anxiety.

Nothing bad has happened….life has happened….but the complication of being an empath has fueled the fires of hell in my mind. I know, intellectually, what I need to do to get a grip but I am going to have to handcuff the part of my brain that does not allow me to avoid so I can to actually accomplish it.

Without going into any detail…suffice to say that when all of a sudden those connected to you start having minor health and common mentally challenging events, I, as an empath, take on those emotions…I can’t explain it, I just feel it.  If you are an empath, you totally understand, if you are not an empath, just read along.

When several minor things happen to those around you, it can be completely overwhelming and if you just go with the flow and fail to arm yourself from these growing life events, eventually the nasty overwhelming feelings take over your peace of mind. For me, that is where destructive anxiety takes over.  Anxiety for me is the inability to have calm, inability to think rationally.  Many times when the sun goes down, my fear and morbid thoughts rage and I’m stuck with heart racing, irrational fear of anything that could possibly happen.

I know this.  I have experienced it too many times in my life not to understand it.  I get complacent, I don’t use the skills I’ve learned to deal with it in the beginning.  I must back away from everyone’s energy.  I must fine my peace in solitude

Until next time……

9 thoughts on “When the anxiety horn blows

  1. Sometimes when I want to talk about sensitive things I wait a few days to let the rest of my family read a post and assume they will not come back and read my comments. How weird is that?
    I believe that I am by nature very empathic. I use to think I was probably mentally unbalanced and a terrible person because I always understand exactly why people do terrible terrible things. I see their point of view, even if it is warped with no problem.
    However..As a child I was punished for showing emotions. Not like, oh shit you are smiling here is a willow switch to the back, but when I was unhappy I was told I had no reason to be unhappy. When I was sad I was told I had no reason to be sad or that something was my own fault. I was absolutely NOT allowed to be angry, ever and I even remember getting yelled at a few times for being happpy when there was no obvious reason for my happiness.
    I believe because of this it has allowed me to completely shut down my emotions in times of stress or emergency. Over the years it made me a great employee and manager but I always struggled when employees had personal issues that interfered with work!
    As the years have gone on, I think I have gotten better.
    And now I have officially posted a blog, on your blog. HIJACK!

    Like

  2. I completely suck at using skills to knock that down. Because I just forget it’s a problem until I’m already in the middle of it and already overwhelmed. There is a reason I become a hermit at times. it’s self preservation.. But I even lose why I’m doing that. So I suppose it’s kind of a horrible cycle…become overwhelmed, back off everything but feel guilty about doing that….Sometime after that I remember that I HAVE to do this. And still, I never feel good about it. Wish I did, or that ‘just take care of you’ thought process came easier. Ugh, it’s not easy. AT ALL. I’m right there with ya Nina. Right there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love and hugs! It is hard to be so in tune with those around you. It is hard to carry all their worries and fears I hope you can center and calm yourself. Hang in there kiddo!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have a friend just like you, easily overwhelmed by other people’s stuff. It must suck to pick up on everyone’s stuff. I am intuitively blind and I am working on that. Would you rather be me? Judith Orloff has written some books that address overly-empathic issues. Maybe they could help. A balance must exist, but I have yet to find it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve been working on it a long time and do clarity guided meditations several times a week.but I’ve been lax the last couple of weeks…I think I know how to get a grip, it’s just when I become lax that it bites me!

      Like

  5. I should not be allowed to type or use talk to text. this is rife with so many typos I do apologize. I hope you get the gist

    Like

  6. Right, that’s what it is to come up forgetting to use the skills, but I have found the skills are never 2nd nature for me. This would be exactly why I do so much to deleting, blocking, restricting, because… I just can’t even… Sometimes I don’t gain enough for distance or enough perspective and I find myself on blocking and blocking and and blocking and blocking until I finally reach a point where I assess the one particular person/situation and either decide that I can live with it or it’s blocked for good. Much like cleaning out my closet :). I think right now I am mentally in a better place than before because I am currently back in to cognitive behavioral therapy, as a means of survival. But the change of seasons too, I find to be particularly difficult. Regardless, I feel ya!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s