August 2017
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I woke up peacefully this morning. I slept with the drapes over the open deck door wide open last night and the view overwhelmed me with contentment……I allowed myself the luxury of laying in bed drifting in and out of light dozing and soaking in the love and friendship of the girls weekend in Des Read more
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Are we just harming ourselves? I’m not sure yet if I believe in the karma theory but I know in the past from my mental flapping, I’ve entertained lots of negative hopes for those who have been on the other side of my personal battle line. It is starting to sink in that you are Read more
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So….in the safety of my own home this summer, I’ve had a cicada in the house and had to be rescued by Truman…then I had a largefellow try to take up residence in the curtains Tonight I had two cats run through the house at warp speed to the deck door off the kitchen. So, Read more
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But currently I’m working through it. I don’t have understanding right now. This is why I journal…both privately and publically on ninasusan.com…For the most part, my private journaling is paragraph after paragraph of thoughts that either would not make sense to anyone else or would, quite frankly, piss them off….it may be a book someday. Read more
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This blog has been taking up space in my head for 4 days now. I’ve been off antidepressants for 6 months and now 4 days. I no longer feel drugged. I’m able to function in the real world like everyone else. Now when I look back at those 2 weeks of Hell going cold Read more
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19 to 59 years old, I really could not be stopped! I look back at those years now and wonder who that person was..59 was just two years ago. Seems the moment I walked into my first job for an insurance company roughly 40 years ago this month, I began my 40 year energizer Read more
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Closer to September 1st than August 1st so for some reason every night I set myself up thinking I’m going to step out the front door and it is going to feel like the 72 degrees that my watch reports…not 72 degrees with 94% humidity…..and every night between 11P and 2A, I say to myself…UGH Read more
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Death of a parent can really screw with your life. For anyone who has had a wonderful, deep, loving relationship with a parent that has died, I know the pain is so great that you really wonder if you will survive. The immediate overwhelming grief is incompacitating. Sometimes after a parent has passed, intellectually we Read more
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Sometimes impromptu gatherings are the best. There’s no time to plan and/or anticipate what you might have forgotten to do. Brother and sister in law came for a visit from Des Moines. It had been a couple months since we had seen each other in person…it never feels like it starting with the first hugs. Read more
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Or more to the point ….. I question the placement of light switches….or even more to the point…I actually question muscle -memory or, in this case, memory-memory. Just as a precursor, I have very limited spatial skills. This is not new. I’ve always had an issue with right or left…something that is just instinct for Read more
Ninasusan 