I have a part time job…I started it on Tuesday.  It is very part time…max of 15 hours a week.  I’m working at a salon/spa…doing reception, cleaning, laundry and tanning beds.  Compared to working 911 for 30 years, it is like mentally taking a nap.  Physically?  I spent two days off trying to recover from hip pain because the muscles used to clean tanning beds are not necessarily muscles I use on a daily basis.  It’s going to be fine although I hope today, I will be able to master the computer software and procedures.  It’s not really complicated but Tuesday I had a lot of cleaning lessons and not enough computer instruction,,,,this left me frustrated.  I trust today will be different!  I’m second guessing everything and doing what I always do…expecting perfection from myself.  I’m also doing a dear diary blog in order to work this out in my mind and calm the anxiety I seem to be wearing.

This is the time I should be meditating…don’t want to.  Working in my craft room seems like a good idea to distract me…don’t want to.  Reading might be a good idea for distraction but I can’t concentrate….so I turned on the TV and now thinking why am I wasting my time watching TV.  This is anxiety.  I’m all up into living in the moment when things are already calm and even….but I need to start working on living in the moment when there is something hanging over my head.  Learning never stops!

Until next time….