Jane Repp shared with me on my first weepy Christmas without my dad that every year she has a good Christmas cry.  It felt right that she would be comforting me on this particular Christmas because she was having a hard time with it too.  Her mom had passed just a couple weeks after my dad had passed in January of that year.

Now, many years later, I totally embrace the Christmas cry.  The tears are flowing today.  It started out this morning and I Was  admonishing myself….WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.  I am so very blessed but in spite of all of the love in my life there is also an absence.  I mourn today all of the Christmas pasts.  The family traditions we have moved away from, my mom isn’t here to buy me all of the Christmas gifts on my wish list, we have moved away from all of our Christmas celebrations…who knew I would miss the sheriffs office potluck!  I miss Christmas Eve at First Christian Church.  I miss old fashioned Christmas carols.  But most importantly I mourn the relationships and family from past Christmases.  So…give me a little time…let me have my Christmas cleansing….then let the celebration of peace and love begin.

Merry Christmas!