Waiting for the other shoe to drop? Unease about what is around the corner or in the dark? Relief? Wake up call? Glad we have been thru the bad stuff?
Diverticulitis and Kidney cancer to start the year and bottoming out with a heart attack and bypass surgery. Yes. I’m still stuck on it…For the most part I’m finding clarity and peace in my days…but every now and then our mortality plops right down in my thoughts and gives me an uneasy feeling. You know what I mean if you have dealt with a serious health issue. Each time that I get that haunted worry, I work to erase it from my consciousness and turn it around in my mind to the positive. Diverticulitis and kidney cancer and heart attack and look at us. We are so lucky …Boom…it happened and ahhhh we survived. There are millions of people who are not as lucky…who are fighting every day to take another breath. We are working to turn things around with our diet and exercise. We have each had a huge wake up call.
He and I talked yesterday about his heart attack…how he feels, is he depressed, is he scared? The answer…No..I’m relieved because now I think I’m going to live longer. Apparently I need to connect with him better and grab onto this much healthier perspective.
Until next time…..
Ninasusan 
I will start by telling you my completely unhealthy perspective of, well – I could get hit by a bus today and die.
I am glad he is not nervous. I hope he’s all calm and set in his head. I do wonder though if he might not have a small delayed reaction in a month or two when everyone else has moved on and stopped asking how he is feeling.He has always seemed so balanced to me.
I hope you find some balance too. I imagine it will take a little while. Aside from all the health stuff that you went through in a fairly short time period you have just had so many changes and adjustments in the last three years. It’s really a lot to adapt too.
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I agree with you about him….the delayed reaction. as you know, I’m finding balance…it doesn’t just happen by flipping the switch. that would be so much easier!
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