The Oprah generation

I can plug my adult years into several categories…my categories may seem “simple minded” to some…your categories are your categories…it defines how you got to be where you are today..  If you are inclined to be defensive about labels, use a different word that will make it okay.   I think the pidgeon hole maturation categories are even more significant than the generational tabs normally applied to who we are.

I think I can simplify my life into talks shows.  I believe I really started to look outward during my Phil Donahue period.  I was quite surprised about the world out there…it was no longer all about me and my opinions..Phil Donahue helped me to accept different thought processes, the fact that everyone is different, and the fact that I may think you or your ideas are foolish and/or ridiculous..but they are your ideas and you have every right to them.  David Letterman took me to a very different place…I loved to laugh out loud and I really enjoyed watching things explode when they were dropped from tall buildings.  Oprah was my lifeline.  Thru the tumultuous years with children and an unperfect body and an immature marriage and a disfunctional childhood…I had permission to start thinking about it and start doing something about the things I did not like about myself.  This period also includes the weekly Dr Phil appearance on Oprah where I will NEVER forget the day I heard from him that you teach people how to treat you.  Along with what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, this statement…You teach people how to treat you.. has been my most chanted mantra…

The way we react to treatment by others affirms to them what will be accepted in the relationship.  At any time, it is possible to change the way you are treated by the way you react to the treatment.  In my mind, this goes right along with not trying to change someone into the person you want them to be…the actual trick here is to change yourself and the other person will change in relation to your behavior.  Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight …and can turn out disastrous or wonderful totally depending on your reaction and what you are willing to put into it.

There you go…it’s where I am today!

A friend of mine posted an article on Facebook…It really inspired me.  I hope not to have these regrets…Wasting no more time!!!!

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Jenny gave him her bluetooth headset when we were in KC the last time.  Quite frankly, I was really surprised that he had talked to her about it because he usually waits until I whine and say I want something before he gets in the buying mood.  Once I saw how easy it was to use and how numb my hand gets when I have to talk on the phone more than 5 minutes, I decided I wanted one too.  I had to laugh when we went to radio shack last night and the little guy who is payed to know the product, dropped us off at the bluetooth headsets and said… >  Basically, you need a more expensive one for the sound and for the distance.. HE said…you mean the distance from the phone and junior salesman said YA and rushed away to help the one other customer in the store.  So we punted.  When I bought Jenny’s…. now his…I had researched them…so I had an idea of what I probably wanted.  I didn’t take his advice and buy the most expensive … but I did buy the same brand as hers/his which is the same brand headsets we use at work.  I tried it out on both girls  when we got home.  I really like it.  Jenny said I should keep it because I sound nicer and Katy said she thought I sounded sweeter.

Watched the pilot for the Americans on FX last night.  I think we are going to like it.  Our Windstream internet signal sucks, so about 3/4 of the way thru, it would rebuff about every 3rd word.  A really good fight scene between the KGB female agent and a KGB agent who raped her while she was in the “academy” would have been totally cathartic but we had to watch it in virtual slow choppy motion.

It’s raining.  In my business, rain usually means a quiet day…except of course the Sunday after super bowl when there is a lot of beer drinking and irritability because there is no pro football..one things leads to another.

Until next time….

He and Dave got their mother situated at Careage of Newton yesterday.  Apparently it went fine.  Her most telling comment was something about her getting moved around a lot.  She may take to the nursing home quite well … as it is a permanent, soft place to fall and she loves to talk so she will have a lot of people to talk to and a lot of people to listen??

Brad and Brian told me about a new show on FX – The Americans – We’ll watch the pilot and 1st episode on line and be good to go on Wednesday nights.  I NEED SOMETHING TO WATCH ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS…I have no interest in the pbs shows he watches that night and have actually thought of changing the name of Wednesday to something that would describe killing, eating and maming of animals in the wilderness…oh ya “Naturday”.  Of all the struggles in our married life, money and chores has not been a problem compared to television programming.  The other night he was watching some horrible show where a bunch of men were beating another man….I watched him physically draw back and grimace…I just don’t get it. Oh well.  I have a nice big TV and a DVR in the bedroom and I’m quite happy!

Sorry to all of you suffering on the east coast.  Been there … done it…It sucks.

Until next time…

I had 10,106 footprints from California yesterday.  I am in the thinking process of closing this account and going somewhere else.  I hate to do it…it will depend on the response from Xanga people.  Anyone else experience this?

This kind of surprises me

Today’s Highlight in History:

On Feb. 7, 1943, during World War II, the government abruptly announced that rationing of shoes made with leather would go into effect in two days, limiting consumers to buying three pairs per person per year. (Rationing was lifted in October 1945.)

First…it surprises me that I had never heard of this before…Second…3 pairs per person per year…that seems like a lot of shoes..especially in a period when I assume people went to the local shoe dealer and had their souls or soles repaired.  I suppose because our ancesters physically worked harder and were on their feet longer that perhaps they were harder on their shoes?  Just an interesting little fact.

Worked a good bit of the day yesterday putting books on Amazon.  Felt good to organize, purge and get it done.

Tuesday morning, He, Dave (his brother) and I visited a nursing home in Newton for their mother.  While going into the nursing home strikes the fear of God in most of us, I think it will be the best place for her.  She’s angry and won’t eat and has serious periods of dementia and is quite a handful…  Relations between the kids have been strained every now and then because of her stories behind their backs.  With none of them providing daily care of her, I hope it will bring the siblings closer together.  (See my blog of last week…Ban the negativity from your mind and daily life.  You are what you think.  Give things as much mental attention as they deserve and not an ounce more.)

First day back to work…Yippee…dog-gone-it…I love the job 😉 how am I doing?

Until next time….

So disappointed in The Front Page with Jack Lemon, Carol Burnett and Walter Matthau…Made it thru for Richer or Poorer with Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley…1 hour on the gazelle while watching Biggest Looser, Roomba and I vacuumed, brushed the cats, drank 3 glasses of H2O, did my physical therapy exercises..watched 3 episodes of Y & R, feather dusted a few rooms, 1 1/2 loads of laundry…hung, sorted and put away, went up 7 levels on candy crush…top that people!!!!

Until next time….

We watched the “The Iron Lady” tonight.  Meryl Streep was incredible and deserved the Academy Award for “being” Margaret Thatcher.    I watched the movie and took notes in my head about her history as the Iron Lady.  attn:  all you naysayers..I don’t know how closely the movie followed actual historical events; but, it was close enough for what I wanted to know.  I can’t really see me having a good reason to argue Prime Minister trivia anytime soon.  We both thought it was a very well directed/written movie telling the story of her rise and “fall” of power mixed with her failure to maintain reality because of her dementia.

I’ve learned this week of the common activity amongst my friends of singing in the shower…apparently…the acoustics are marvelous, darling.

That is it for tonight…holy crap…it is after 8:30…I need to be in bed…and you think I’m kidding.

Until next time.
Tra la la