I’ve been on a mission for several years to change the things I don’t like about myself. In my opinion, I’ve made some pretty fair headway…I have come a long way and am not sure how far I have to go. One of my big things in life (no pun intended) is my weight..I’ve always been on the chunky side of normal but never where I am today. I had an ah ha moment with Oprah several years ago when I learned that it’s not what I’m eating but whats eating me. Lately I have been reading the Good Earth and the huge little ah ha I’ve gotten out of it so far is to live in the moment. Crap in the past – crap in the future doesn’t matter…it is what is going on right this moment. I’ve been mentally trying to talk myself through things using this formula. Stop…what is going on right at this moment that is causing you stress – Oh..something you are dreading…well, is that going on right now or is it in the future. Then, I’ve heard Cesar Milan say many times that animals live in the moment..that one of the problems we have is treating dogs like humans instead of dogs and dogs don’t worry about tomorrow – they live in the moment. This is good stuff….I see how living in the moment certainly takes the sting out of life – this is not to say you shouldn’t think about or plan for the future…but actually life is right now.
Right now this morning came from an email from Jeff aka ghog…he said he thought he should tell me that Brent had a cancerous tumor removed from his colon and will be undergoing chemo. I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. Even though I haven’t seen Brent very much over the years…I’ve known him since I was 5. He was my first love although he probably doesn’t know it…we never had any type of adult relationship but he lived across the street from me during my growing up years… I knew his family, played with his sisters, spent a lot of Friday nights at his house watching scary movies and I always figured we would end up together. We did have a little “thing” (for the lack of a better word) many years ago. His brother had moved into a downstairs apt and Brent was there helping him move. He stopped up to see me and there was a little rapid heart beat moment and he said he would meet me in the bar later. At the time, I had another heart throb and didn’t give him any attention at the bar. The next time I saw him was a visit to my former church in Des Moines. We passed in the hallway and greeted each other and then emailed a couple of times to catch up with each other’s lives. Now he has had a cancerous tumor removed from his colon. I don’t know any particulars, I just know that I put life into perspective this morning. Life is here and then it isn’t…don’t waste it…live and love and everything else will fall into place….
Please lift Brent up in your prayers….
Until next time……