My friends are at the funeral home today….making arrangements for a public goodbye to their mom. I would say that the real goodbyes to her soul were said in the week before she actually stopped breathing and her heart ceased to beat. Those are the goodbyes…the funeral is a ritual we endure for closure….our last attempt to perhaps send our memories of the physical body on while fulfilling last wishes…perhaps with clothes, jewelry and music.
I know some folks who,say they can’t do funerals. I understand in theory that they cannot let their grief manifest in tears, sobbing, sadness and fear. Sometimes we have to let ourselves go there.
I remember when my dad died, I was able to rationalize in my mind that this was my dads body that had broken down…that housed the soul that I had loved all of my life. But the body laying before me was just that….the recognizable body. His soul was not in that body anymore and I was actually carrying that part of Dad in my heart.
Funerals are closers. Those who have loved that person come together in heart and spirit to support each other with loss. The funeral is for the survivors. The loved one has moved on.
Peace and love.