Interesting learning experience this morning as I so often call Oprah’s ah ha moment.  I thought to myself this morning that I should do my morning 3 three laps on the stairs before Young and Restless started…but then my protective self said….well, you could do that but you’ve only had 2 cups of coffee this morning and no water yet and you know you could get dizzy and fall down the steps…ya…and break your neck….and he is’nt home so you would lay there for awhile…..and then the crazy self stepped in and said…you know…if you died that way at least it would be probably fast and you wouldn’t have time to think about dying.

(I’m watching TV right now drinking a glass of water)

As I processed through this absolute craziness, I realized that in the back of my mind, I’m kind of worried about the cancer coming back and the burden and sorrow and pain this would put on my family and those close to me….and then I realized that I’m taking way too much responsibility for my kidney cancer.  I know I’ve said before that I did not take care of myself in the past and made several very bad choices with my lifestyle…but…seriously I’m not responsible for my kidney cancer.  It happened….for whatever reason…maybe no reason….it happened.

I’m going to work through this some more….

As I’m closing I thought about the line from a movie …. Have a nice trip, see you next fall…ugh…crazy may be running free today.

Until next time….