Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

Social media etiquette and friends in pain

A friend of mine died on Sunday.  I grieved for the family!  Just like everyone else, I went about my life…doing what I would normally do on Sunday afternoon.  Talking, laughing and living my life while memories of Dorena continued to slip into my consciousness.  I decided that I would feel guilty writing a blog about the humors of our day or making cheeky comments and being social on Facebook while friends were feeling the loss of their mom and wife.  I’ve felt this way before…

I think it is that strong empathetic vein that I have running through me.  When I have been plagued with some inner pain, whether my own health or the health or death or someone close to me, I’ve turned to social media to help scramble my thoughts and to realize that out there…everything is normal….yet, I’ve always paused to wonder when everyone else is jolly and going about their daily life…do they care?  

There is a fine line….the way I feel right now, today.  I’m choosing to honor my friends when they are grieving by tempering my social media participation….out of respect.  I’m becoming a little disillusioned with Facebook anyway…seems it has become just a share this or that joke, political opinion, social placement quizzes and less about personal connections with friends.  I’m wondering if following the lead of my daughters and weening myself from this medium is where I will end up.  I’m in it for the personal social connection but apparently I’m choosing my participation on my terms.

Until next time….

6 responses to “Social media etiquette and friends in pain”

  1. Ghog Avatar
    Ghog

    I can remember using Mom’s Facebook page to ask everyone at church to start praying for her when we found out she had cancer. It was effective for that sort of thing, but all the other lesser drama of Facebook seems to creep in and destroy the urgency of the moment.

    Something needs to replace Facebook or at least be of sufficient strength to compete with it. If Google+ expanded it’s platform, it might be able to compete.

    Sorry about your friend, but ya know, life does go on when people die. I read the obits 5 of 7 days a week. I wonder about these people’s families and how they are doing because I have been where they are, but the obits are in a newspaper..in the back mostly. All the other life stuff comes before it.

    People die. Sometimes unexpectedly. We mourn. We adapt. We go back to whatever we are doing and we remember them. It’s all very odd how we deal with grief. I was actually mad at Mom for awhile for leaving me with this mess. I found myself talking out loud to her. Weird.

    If I go first, please feel free to have a good day anyway. Do a blog post about me or post my image on Facebook and tell everyone how much I would have hated that.

    Imagine finally having the last word!

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    1. Ninasusan Avatar
      Ninasusan

      We all do deal differently. I felt the same about my dad leaving me with my mom. Someday I’m going to get my pics in order and share them of you and your hair 😋

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  2. TJ Avatar
    TJ

    Yes, I’m totally with you on all of this. I remember just riding in the car when I was 10 years old. My grandmother had just died and I was so mad that the whole world just went on, as if, nothing. Of course i’m older now and understand it, but I don’t think that feeling ever left me
    As for social media…totally get that too. I have hidden a lot of ppl who only post politics or memes. I try not to hit the “like” button anymore. If it’s important enough to like, it’s important enough to comment. But you’re right, the personal posts have become few and far between. And that makes me sad

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  3. Tracy Avatar
    Tracy

    “out of respect”, so many people don’t seem to understand that concept.
    Social Media is the only thing that keeps me sane, while at the same time causing me to go a little crazy. It is my contact with people outside of my little space here.

    When I have suffered strong losses in my life, the death of a parent, the first week after I was diagnosed with cancer, I found myself in everyday situations just wanting to yell at people “Shut UP! THIS just happened to me”. I try to remember that feeling when I am around people who have something similar going on in their lives. I remember I just couldn’t think of anything else and I assume they feel the same way.

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    1. Ninasusan Avatar
      Ninasusan

      Exactly!!! You understand me!

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  4. cdhoagpurple Avatar
    cdhoagpurple

    First-half-of-life values (success, strength, approval) somehow don’t cut it when reality hits (death, disability, entropy). You are right to be nervous regarding following the next generation’s priorities. You have empathy and depth, qualities often developed over time. Decide for yourself where you want to go. Lead. Don’t follow.

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