I don’t know if this happens to all people pleasers; but, eventually some of us blow. I’m currently working through another layer…peeling the skin off the pungent onion. When being raised up as a people pleaser, I believe what you really learn is to be a door mat.
During my continuous mental cleansing and the endeavor to be peaceful, loving and kind….I find myself just plain angry. The two opposite emotions do not live together. I speak for myself but know other people pleasers will begin shaking their head in the affirmative….in order to be kind, we let people mistreat us. We don’t speak up like many others and say stop…you are not going to treat me this way…you are not going to disrespect me by saying unkind things to me or about me. Instead we spend way, WAY too much time trying to figure out what we are doing that makes someone take advantage of us, not respect us or just be curt, rude and shitty.
But the fact is…these people are so messed up in their own head, their behavior betrays them. It’s not me. It is them. It’s going to be difficult for me but I’m going to start standing up for myself because no one else is obviously going to do it. You ignore me…I ignore you. You snap at me…I snap at you. You belittle me…I respond in kind.
You teach people how to treat you and as we accept negative behavior toward us, we are teaching people that we will accept being treated negatively. I’m tired and by standing up for myself, I will delete the power that others have over me.
I will be starting slowly as a child begins to learn from kindergarten but I will learn fast and grow strong. The stone in my path to kindness, peace and love will no longer block my path and make me turn around and search for another path.
Until next time….