Happy 99th birthday

My dad was born 99 years ago today.  He was a simple man who loved his family above all else.  I love to hear my girls reminisce about Grandpa doing this and Grandpa doing that and I love him the most because he loved them the best.  I missed you during the World Series this year, I miss seeing you in your recliner with your steepled fingers and I will miss celebrating your birthday with you this year.  I will drink several cups of black coffee today and think about you.  You were my hero.

Until next time…..

Some may already think I’m crazy…

I knew when I woke up this morning that I needed to put these thoughts out there.  I know there are a lot of people…my age….younger….older….just trying to find themselves and the all encompassing “meaning of life”.  Many are led by a belief in God (or whatever their religion calls its higher power).  I’ve been there heart and soul.  Living each day, not for the day, but as a stepping stone to what they covet most …. A peaceful, joyful eternity in heaven.

For the last few years, I’ve been seeking the answers to my own anxiety, anger and discontent.  I finally gave myself permission to ask the question, “am I always going to feel this way or can I make changes in the way I view things so that I can enjoy moments for what they are”?  I assumed in The beginning that I would be able to heal my mind one day and be different the next.  That was an unreasonable and, quite frankly, ignorant goal.

If you read yesterday’s blog, I mentioned I was able to enter a meditative state unlike anything I’ve ever reached before during craniosacral therapy.  This meditative state allowed me to find myself as a child in my home of 12 childhood years.  I started with the same scenario I always use to relax myself…in the backyard, laying my sheet on the ground on top of the grass, laying down and letting the sun beat on my young skin.  I have been able to see the brick trash incinerator my dad built, the oak tree in the far corner and felt like I was actually able to turn my head and see the back of our house.  Yesterday, I went further….I saw more….I felt more….I went into the house and lived it, especially the kitchen.  I felt Lennnie Rae and I walking up Timber Lane to the school bus stop….and so many other vivid memories…this incredible power of the mind through total relaxation and meditation.  It makes me emotional…the only other time I have been able to do this was in the 70s when I smoked pot.  That was one of the best parts for me being high.  The surreal memories….. and showers, of course.  Meditation is something I’m going to continue working on.  I know there are things in my mind that I need to deal with to continue my journey in finding myself…there may be some ugliness in there, but I need to find it, deal with it and move on.

Until next time….

Craniosacral Therapy

I had quite the day of pampering today.  Hair cut and color and solving world problems with my son-in-law.  A trip to Hobby Lobby to get supplies and my first craniosacral therapy massage…and then dinner prepared by my daughter.

Jenny’s neighbor, Rachel, has been doing massage therapy for several years and has included craniosacral massage in her therapy options.  This particular healing technique has it’s share of naysayers…and that is fine with me….I have a different opinion on the technique and the results.  Rachel brought in her massage table (just like the movies) and set it up in Jenny’s bedroom, turned on some new age music and had me lay on her table fully clothed….and then she layed hands on me.  Gently. Very light touch and very little movement.  My feet, my lower legs, my upper legs and then each side of my hips and the right side of my abdomen where she stayed for a long period of time.  Just touch.  Then she slipped one hand under my right side while still maintaining contact with the upper right abdominal area…this is when I totally relaxed.  I found a deeper meditative state than I have reached before.  It came peacefully and calmly.  She moved up to my head and neck…at one point when she layed her hands on the side of my head up near my forehead, I started feeling a pain on the left side behind my eyes.  She slightly moved her hands and the headache dissolved.  Keep in mind…this is not pressure this is touch.  When my hour was up, I became aware of reality, sat up on the side of the table and felt like I had a buzz.  It took me several minutes to lose the feeling that I had just awakened from a long winter’s nap.

I share my experience as encouragement to try this procedure.  Read up on the cranio sacral therapy.  Read both sides of the story and opinions and then try it.  Find out for yourself if this type of therapy might be the last one you need to try to help heal your migraine, other aches and pains and your mind.

I’m willing to answer any questions you may have or if you are in the Kansas City area, I can connect you with Rachel.

Until next time…..

DIY Lotion Day

I spent my day making lotion.  I got my recipes from Wellness mama.

I thought lotion bars would be the most convenient….Wellness mama and all of her followers said they were wonderful because you can just rub them on and they leave a light coating.  Probably true but not very easy to “just rub them on”.  Not as easy as slathering.  The biggest challenge (indicating they were basically easy to make) was waiting for the bee’s wax to melt.

But, they are very cute!

I left a couple in my neighbor, Robbein’s door and she thought they were candy until I sent her a message telling her what I had done and what they were.  One bite and she may have started locking the doors when she saw me outside.

The next recipe was whipped lotion…a few more steps including getting the electric mixer involved which I haven’t had in my hand since last Christmas.

Okay…honestly the biggest challenge was cleaning the kitchen after this project…but I had fun.

Until next time…..

Des Moines, Iowa

I am always proud when I hear good rankings of Des Moines in Forbes Magazine, Huffington Post and other news sources I read about through Twitter or on the best news source *rolling eyes… Facebook. I was born in Des Moines and made my home in Iowa’s Capitol city until I was 23 when I moved to my husbands home town 30 miles east on I80.

I am always irritated when I hear people talking about driving through Iowa being similar to driving through Kansas and Nebraska…nothing to look at…cornfield after cornfield….yes it is true…the corn state does produce a lot of corn in corn fields.  But, how could you possibly negatively compare the lush, green rolling hills of Iowa to the desolate brown, flat interstate highways of Nebraska, Kansas and for that matter eastern Colorado?

I really love going home to Des Moines after living in the hustle and bustle of the Kansas City area.  I get a warm, nostalgic feeling when I hit the down town area when traveling thru on I235.  My daughter and her husband live in a loft downtown Des Moines and when I visit, I always think…I could live this life….  The downtown area is alive, revitalized, friendly, safe and with a mixture of old architecture and new construction.  Other than the occasional over the top frigid winters and occasional over the top winter snowfall, I could be very happy in Des Moines again.  I snapped a few pics while on my estrogen tour of Des Moines…they aren’t the best pictures but they are mine.  I wanted to get them in my blog (diary) to remind me of the peace of my former home.

I like to think the blue on the building on the right was to celebrate the Kansas City Royals….and maybe it was…the colors change depending on the holiday.


View from the top of the Butler Mansion

And most importantly….Tasty Taco

Until next time…..

His and her independence adventure

Who knew.

We took to the streets of Kansas City today.  Actually the burbs.  I wanted to get some oils and butters to make some lotion to mix with essential oils.  Who knew that there is not a Whole Foods store on the Missouri side of the line.  I really prefer not to give my money to Kansas and governor Brownback over there but my desire to make lotion won.

then I wanted to get little jars for the lotion and decided Old Time Pottery – Independence with all of their STUFF was just where I needed to go.

And then, as usual,  we decided to explore.

Who knew we would find a temple of the Mormon faith?

And across the street the auditorium.

What we WERE looking for was the Harry S Truman library and home.  It was late in the day and decided to return so we could spend time going through all of Harry and Bess’s stuff.  But, here’s some pics we snapped.

The house

The Presidential library

And this…outside the Mormon property

Interesting history to be gobbled up at a later date.

until next time……

The journey of self discovery…

My strong suit is not in making decisions.  Let me back up…30 years as a 911 dispatcher forced me to make split second 911 decisions…so it isn’t that.  I can make decisions on the spot with little forethought or available information…decisions that must be made NOW.  I, most generally, have no problem making buying decisions but frequently I’m guilted with buyers remorse.  But ask me to make a decision about other life questions like where I want to eat dinner and I teeter totter.

So, last week when I sent text messages to a few friends to tell them I was thinking about a trip back to Des Moines and could we get together, I thought to myself…where did that come from.  One minute I was watching TV and the next minute I was texting…no forethought and no regret.  The next few days were full of excitement and anticipation…no second thoughts, no worry, no concern about leaving him at home alone for 4 days.  I was going!

The journey was just what I needed for my soul.  I felt cleansed.  I lined up my schedule, packed my bags, backed out of the driveway and found myself in the moment, depending on myself, clearing my head and taking a huge leap into the unknown.  I didn’t bog myself down with my typical should I Do this or should I do that.  I enjoyed me.  I let the trees and fields of nature and the bright blue sky frame my experience.  I sang at the top of my lungs, I drove the speed limit, I drank copious amounts of coffee.  With each friend visit I lived in the moment…I didn’t prepare…I relaxed….I listened and I talked.  I had a wonderful time with myself.  Another huge step in my journey to self discovery.

Don’t leave me now!!!

As I was rolling down I35 this afternoon from Des Moines to Kansas City, I was transported into one of those metaphysical caravans.  That feeling of belonging to the group when you travel behind or in front of other cars who have their speed control set at exactly the same speed.  Today’s relationship involved an older red Pontiac grand am with Minnesota plates and an older dark colored GMC pickup with Iowa plates.  I followed the pickup for many miles, passing other cars in rhythm and the red Pontiac was following me.  I first became aware of my group when the Pontiac brazenly passed me and got between the pick up and me.  That was fine…we stayed in this little fictional group for many, many miles.

I’ve had this little comradory before but usually when I’m traveling behind someone traveling over the posted speed and I slide in behind them feeling safer with someone ahead of me drawing the radar attention.

But as usual…someone had to mess it up!  The pickup just had to pull off at a rest area so it was just the juke and the Pontiac….when I pulled off on 470 and the Pontiac continued on 435, I wondered if the driver had any idea that he/she was such a part of my life.

Until next time……

Now what do we do?

Subtitle:  Sharing the spirit of the win

Late in the 5th game of the 2015 World Series, the family room at Jenny and Justin’s house was electric! I’ve always been a baseball fan…but nothing prepared me for the experience of winning a World Series by the team I’ve rooted for only two years with a room full of lifetime Royals fans.  I must use the word electric again.  The house was vibrating with it…and then the fireworks exploding in the neighborhood and with double high fives all the way around and normally just loud fan screaming at the TV became a riot of jumping up and down and dancing around the room.  It was contagious!  My son in law brought us all together for this one.  After the late in the 4th game victory, he didn’t give anyone a choice…we would all be back together for game 5.  Same clothes, same seats, same food…the only thing we were worried that we screwed up was we all parked different in the driveway for game 5!

I giggled when Justin thanked us for moving the KC last season because it obviously helped!



He and I have not missed watching very many games on TV this year…it became our evening entertainment.  On the way home last night, with our car still buzzing with ELECTRICITY, I asked him…what are we going to do now?  The season is over!

Until next time 💙💙

Woke up to a #Royal blue sky this morning


After last night’s amazing Royals win over the Mets.  

I have a deep dislike for the Toronto Blue Jays…the last team the Royals beat…but only for their bad sportsmanship and their ####head Bautista…so imagine the Royals shock when the first pitch from the Mets pitcher once they got to New York was a pitch intentionally straight to the head of our super boy, Escobar.  I was very proud of the Royals players not trash talking about the incident…well, except for this tweeted picture by a fan:
We went to Justin and Jenny’s for a World Series party last night.  We all got a huge laugh at neighbor, Chris who wore her Royals pajamas to the party.  she didn’t wear them Friday night and look what happened.

The father-in-laws don’t even looked stressed when the Royals were behind


Well, one of them looks a little sour!

I hope it is over tonight…I want Chris to be out of her Jammies and Justin can change his T shirt and while I would  like to see the Royals win at home for the fans, I more want to see the Mets lose in front of their own fans!  a little deep down Bitter Ballerina in Ninasusan’s heart!


Until next time….