Cheating on Nancy

My girl is Nancy….I found her one day when I Was still working at the Vape Shop.  I needed a mani and pedi the way some people want a cigarette and a shot to relax.  I’ve been unfaithful to Nancy several times and quite frankly I feel a little guilty….especially after she told me (as a response to an unrelated question) that even if she doesn’t remember faces of her clients, she knows her manis from someone else’s…yes….now when I cheat, it’s like coming back with the smoke from a different fire clinging to me.  I guess the Sanford Townsend Band song was actually Smoke from a distant fire.

I tried a new nail salon before Kate’s wedding.  It is a brand new salon closer to Pleasant Hill.  It was staffed by all Asian guys rather than Asian girls who are 20 years old and weigh the same.  He pointed out to me that I had dirt along the nail of my big toe….I felt like I needed to apologize… must have worn him out because he did a bad job of trimming and polishing.  it was really awkward because he kept looking at my face while he was working on my feet and he kept talking….gibberish gibberish giggle giggle.  I think he was in the training stage because another guy was sitting on a stool watching him…I had to keep asking him….what did he say.  I wanted to scream….stop talking and stop looking at me.  It was like a bad date!  More like I needed a shower rather than a cigarette when I left the shop.

Jenny and I are going to her nail salon this afternoon…so I’ll be cheating on Nancy again today.  She say Nancy no care…but I say….you don’t know Nancy.

Until next time…..

2 thoughts on “Cheating on Nancy

  1. Why not just have them pulled so you don’t have to worry about it? All those chemicals cannot be good for you.
    My Mom was actually missing her big toenail on the left foot. Her pedicurist would make a quick cast of the toe out of some malleable substance and then pour epoxy into cast. once dried, the pedicurist would shape the molded epoxy into something approaching a toenail and then glue it too her toe with silicone. It was then painted and looked completely natural.

    She called it her ‘falsey’. After she died, I found a small container full of these discarded faux tonenails in different colors. Frankly, it was kind of gross, but I guess we could have found worse things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When Jenny was a little girl and I cut my fingernails she would save the long ones. No idea why. And she is not proud of it now. I doubt she will read my blog comments so I think I’m safe to put it out there.


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