Tracy has always been very open with details of her cancer, her procedures, how she is trying to prepare her body for those procedures and staying strong and living life.  I’ve soaked in her details and thought that her writing about her life was probably as cathartic for her as it was for us, her friends, who thought about her struggle day and night.  The one thing I always wondered is…when you have this CANCER growing in you and you know it is there…how do you not think about it all of the time…how do you just accept that it is there and continue to put one foot in front of the other and be viable?

I now have kidney cancer that I wake up with everyday and go to sleep with everynight.  It is there!

What I think this has done for me has thickened my resolve and pissed me off….and I’ve never been one who just sits around and takes it when I’m pissed off!  Let me add here that my kidney cancer is probably all contained in my kidney and the doctor is pretty sure that they will snip it out and the cancer will be gone.  There is not Chemo or radiation that I”m aware of to treat kidney cancer.  More than one person has said to me that if I’m going to get cancer…this is the one to get.  It has also been suggested that having diverticulitis probably has saved my life – with the finding of the cancer early before it broke out of it’s lining.  So far…I think I’m lucky!

What I’ve become militant about it is what is going in my mouth.  I’ve eaten healthy for the last year – sans Thanksgiving, Christmas and vacation.  There is a difference in wanting to eat healthy because I”m almost 60 and don’t want to die early and wanting to eat healthy because I’m almost 60, have cancer, and don’t want to die early.  It’s all called perspective….

One of the things I’ve read about kidney cancer is there is really no known cause…but smoking cigarettes and being overweight may have a cause and effect.  CHECK!  Guilty of both…so I”m really not a victim unless I don’t change things…then I just have a death wish.

Until next time….