I stepped on the scales this morning and my head nearly burst…I’m finally within 1.2 pounds of losing 60 pounds.  My morning ritual of crawling back into bed with my IPAD and catching up with everyone’s happenings over night was interrupted with trying to remember where I was in my life when i weighed what I weigh this morning.  Some in my life would say OMG you don’t need to analyze this…but as Dr Phil says…the best way to understand the future is to look at the past.  A little paraphrasing there.

Its kind of disarming to realize that I can look at my past – and I’m talking about the last 35 years of my past – to realize that I can, in fact, remember to a pretty accurate degree what I weighed at certain points in my life….decades in my life.  Creeping up and down in my child bearing years of the 1980’s.  A 50 pound weight loss in the early 90’s  A continuing upward shot after my dad died in 2001 with the help of antidepressants – a 90 pound gain until 2011 where I once again dropped 50 pounds then back up 50 pounds until March of this year.  I have determined that I’m actually pretty good at gaining weight and dropping weight…but this is where the cycle has to stop.  I’m chock full of reasons I gained and lost weight.  All of them have to do with emotions!!  What I’m hoping is that knowledge is power.

I’m not the same person I was in February of 2014 – Sometimes when I’m in the top of my day, I will turn to him and say,  I’m so happy!  The weight doesn’t figure in to those times – or if they do, I’m not thinking about it.  Its my emotional circumstances which have given me piece.  I’m literally in a different place.  The day I retired, I discarded that life and moved away from that life, the stress, the angst, the hate…the discontent.  With this new start, I realized that I wanted to live… I want to be healthy, I want to be happy and with the anonymity, I have had the chance to cleanse and start over.  I’m confident it saved my life.

Until next time….