What I learned yesterday…

For the most part, it is safe to say that my overblown reaction to some of the people who continuously call for police assistance ie.  8 year old who won’t go to bed, SERIOUSLY.  My ??? is harrassing me by calling me on the phone, DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE, THEY WILL GET TIRED OF THE RING.  So and so and I are getting a divorce and he/she is trying to take my car, DO YOU HAVE A DIVORCE DECREE…no…IS THE CAR REGISTERED TO BOTH OF YOU..yes but I’m making the payments…DO YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY…no…HAVE YOU FILED FOR DIVORCE…well, no.  (Will you be back together before the week is up)?  (can’t ask that one)…anyway, my total irritation at these people is genuine but perhaps a bit blown up because they bring out the same emotions I used to feel when Helen would call for the 3rd time in one night because she couldn’t get the remote to work and we won’t show her how…ARE YOU KIDDING ME, RESENTMENT, RESENTMENT, RESENTMENT.  My today problem makes me feel like my head is going to blow off this much *     *  which actually  triggers the much more dramatic reaction to Helen which was this much
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To go along with that, I learned that eating and sex are the two pleasurable activities that have remained in us thru eons of evolution.  Unfortunately in order to soften my anger during an explosive event, I think about eating because it gives me pleasure.  I guess at work, eating is okay…having sex everytime I got pissed might be frowned upon…but I’d be popular 🙂

This was a huge breakthru…does this help anyone else or am I just a dunce who never thought about connections like this?

Until next time….

6 thoughts on “What I learned yesterday…

  1. The dirt bag was not in prison when ya’ll encountered him was he? Something must have changed. Maybe he was proud of that?? Maybe he had just not been caught again doing whatever dirt bag things he does. Who knows. I don’t. It is possible however to to disengage and unplug from it when you go home. In my business I have what you might call dirt bag customers. Most people that use our services are incredibly stupid when it comes to international shipping even though they may be traffic managers for their company. They make the same errors over and over again. I help them when I’m at work and I do not think about them when I go home. Some of them get in trouble with US Customs. They get fined or their shipments get seized. They try to make it my problem. It’s their problem. I can try to help them with it, but it usually costs them. They don’t like that, especially when they were trying to avoid the real costs associated with importing goods to the US in the first place. Dirt Bags right? So, disengaging I guess, is the other part of the equation. That and breaking the previous conditioning. That’s probably more difficult. She was mentally Ill. YOU are not. She was probably bent because of what someone, some dirt bag did to her. She did not reject the bentness. You can and have to a great extent. Just let go of it. Don’t react when that crap comes to mind.Generally, venting is good. You did a good job here.I’ve got my own troubles as you well know and this is how I cope with them. My solution may not work for you, probably won’t. Forgive me for implying that it would.As for being a hermit…you might like that. Think about moving to Belize. They speak English. There’s lots of beach. It’s always at least 70 degrees. Rains quite a bit in the winter, but even then, they have about 10 hours of daylight everyday.As for Walmart, if you go at 4 AM, no one is there except the shelf stockers and if you see someone you know, there are lots of places to hide. 

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  2. Oh…I totally understand what you are saying.  I am saying that people, not in the law enforcement community, have no idea what society has become.  I have total compassion for a lot of people who call with a problem.  These morons who are frequent callers – frequent meaning  several times a week is beyond me.  The poor saps had no upbringing and they are shooting out children like bird shot…it’s nothing like it used to be 27 years ago.  The people who set me off cannot even take care of the smallest issues in their life..when they call, I know their voice, know a lot of their addresses and know it’s gonna start with uh ya, I got a question or get the f*ing cops here now.  I have to get out of this job…I don’t want to know that this generation is spawning a new generation that will follow the path.  I already know of several families that were dirtbags when I started 27 years ago and I’m now having to talk to their idiot grandchildren with the same problems except the gene pool has been compromised that they can barely talk without a grunt.  I’m not kidding here, ghog.As far as food.  I’m going to therapy to try to stop this emotional eating.  My problem isn’t pushing back fro the table…I have total understanding about making choices…my problem comes in the food department when I don’t seem to be able to focus on anything but food when I’m at work…I’m realizing that my reaction to this job triggers a much larger reaction that has built up over the years.  I’m not really that pissed off at these people but it triggers the same deep feelings that I fought for 53 years with Helen.  That is what I’m working out….and I”m learning how to retrain my mind to avoid those resentment triggers and be normal.I really want to move somewhere that I don’t know anyone – live like a quasi hermit.  I want to go to Walmart (did I just say that) and not see anyone I know or have some dirt bag come up to “him” and say – uh ya..I know you…I used to be in prison…the dirt bag seems to be proud of it.  I cannot put myself in everyone else’ shoes on a regular basis or I’m totally going to lose my mind and who I am.

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  3. This will not be popular, but try compassion, pity and a little “but for the grace of God that could be me” attitude.Seriously. Think about what it would be like to be old and unable to use technology or, for that matter, how it might be not to be able to use your body in the way you once did.Think about what it’s like to be sucked into an emotional pit with someone so disfunctional that they think steeling your car or your cookware is a good way to play out the disfunction in the relationship. Put yourself in the other person’s place no matter how stupid or immature or disfunctional you might think they are. Then let them vent or talk. Comiserate with them. Let them excise their loneliness and be thankful that, at least for now, your life is not theirs.It will cost you time, but not much else. Gnawing down several refrigerators full of food will broaden your perspective a bit, but then only you get nourished. Sex may be good for the relationship at home, but that’s not the problem either. Intead, give something to someone else, not to please them or shut them up, but to let them know there is someone who cares about their misery, even when it’s self inflicted. That’s true compassion. If that’s lacking, there is something else wrong. Don’t misunderstand me. I know the desire to see someone get exactly what they deserve, but where does that desire come from? What does it lead to? Better to give help, empathy and understanding. The time may come when we need it too. 

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  4. Oh, emotions, I want to eat you.

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  5. well I think you just explained why I went to the gas station and got a big slice of their greasy greasy pizza on my break today.  I was thinking maybe there was something about driving my son’s car that made ppl crave that awful stuff. he eats it too much and i was using his car today…but no your theory makes much more sense. 

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  6. I’m more of a fat & happy kind of person. I can only eat when I feel good. When I feel stressed or angry it makes me nauseated and I can’t eat. For a lot of people, food is love. If I feed you, you will know I love you and you will love me more. Therefore if I need to feel love, I need to be fed. It’s such a strange connection but it seems so obvious when you think about evolution. The whole hunter gatherer, provider thing. A good solid family group is the one that can manage to feed everyone in the family. We’ll talk about the whole sex connection on another day!

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