No…I’m not naked.
I’ve been in a total funk since Thanksgiving…This is the first holiday funk I’ve ever had…Our family kind of developed a Christmas curse several years ago…I call it a curse for lack of a better word…but magical Christmas seasons seemed to wane as the years went by…strokes, heart attacks, broken body parts and dry sockets seem to have a negative affect on joy. This year is different..I’m not filled with the magical joy, yet wondering what curse is looming. I am apathetic. So be it.
I startle easily, loud unwelcome noise like “his” music can have me abundantly pissy at high noon. At different times, my girls and I have discussed our reflexive rage or total shut down. Jenny found a book, “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron. I’m just into it and have found that I have many of the symptoms..will need to read further for understanding. Being startled for no apparent reason other than someone speaking has always had me wondering what is wrong with me. Maybe I will learn something. While at the bookstore, I also picked up the book by Harriet B Braiker, “The Disease to Please”. I’m in total conflict now about which one to read first…last night before falling asleep, I tried to read both…not effective.
I worked late last night trying to clear my angst about a work project…not done…but so close I can almost feel the relief of having it finished. I came home tired, mentally shot and irritable. I went to the bedroom early so I could watch two episodes of Housewives of Beverly Hills…those bitches love to argue about nothing..it actually made me feel better…
I’m off today – a bit of shopping – FOR ME…not Christmas shopping, therapy, lunch with Cooper then weigh in at Weight Watchers…It ain’t gonna be pretty this week.
Until next time….