A post in the raw….

No…I’m not naked.

I’ve been in a total funk since Thanksgiving…This is the first holiday funk I’ve ever had…Our family kind of developed a Christmas curse several years ago…I call it a curse for lack of a better word…but magical Christmas seasons seemed to wane as the years went by…strokes, heart attacks, broken body parts and dry sockets seem to have a negative affect on joy.  This year is different..I’m not filled with the magical joy, yet wondering what curse is looming.  I am apathetic.  So be it.

I startle easily, loud unwelcome noise like “his” music can have me abundantly pissy at high noon.  At different times, my girls and I have discussed our reflexive rage or total shut down.  Jenny found a book, “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron.  I’m just into it and have found that I have many of the symptoms..will need to read further for understanding.  Being startled for no apparent reason other than someone speaking has always had me wondering what is wrong with me.  Maybe I will learn something.  While at the bookstore, I also picked up the book by Harriet B Braiker, “The Disease to Please”.  I’m in total conflict now about which one to read first…last night before falling asleep, I tried to read both…not effective.

I worked late last night trying to clear my angst about a work project…not done…but so close I can almost feel the relief of having it finished.  I came home tired, mentally shot and irritable.  I went to the bedroom early so I could watch two episodes of Housewives of Beverly Hills…those bitches love to argue about nothing..it actually made me feel better…

I’m off today – a bit of shopping – FOR ME…not Christmas shopping, therapy, lunch with Cooper then weigh in at Weight Watchers…It ain’t gonna be pretty this week.

Until next time….

6 thoughts on “A post in the raw….

  1. I startle all the time too. Never really thought it was odd, just always figure i’m so deep in my thoughts or something. hmmm…I sub to a guy who read “The Disease to Please”, did a lot for him.I’ve thought about picking it up, but i can’t decide if it might make me more inner bitchy. lol Will look forward to a review from you!!just read Tracy’s comment and i think she has a valid point. There is something about looking forward to a thing that just makes one feel good…or at least not stagnant. Buy yourself something really cool, wrap it and put it under the tree for yourself.maybe not a cure for the blues, but still, might help a little. Take care!

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  2. BOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Are you startled???

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  3. Okay, I need to get both of those reads.  I’ve always known I’m highly sensitive.  Not just to noises and goings on, but to everything, anyone has ever said about me.  I’ve got major anxiety.  I’ll try to find the books on amazon today.  Hope you get out of the funk =)

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  4. Well, that stinks.  I am sorry you are still in such a funk.  I hope you find and buy yourself something wonderful!  I hope your lunchtime date is fun and refreshing.You are a wonderful person and lots of people love you lots and you deserve to be happy!!!!

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  5. Or tell someone to go buy you a present!

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  6. I get startled when people talk too!I’m sorry about your holiday funk. We are generally very low key about holidays and that seems to increase every year. If we get much more low key we’re going to just forego them all together.I think some people (and I think you may be one of them) need to always have something to look forward to. Like an upcoming trip, or listening to a new CD that you really wanted, lunch with a friend,or well, something. I know it’s not the way you’re “supposed” to be and a therapist will tell you that you can’t do that. You have to appreciate where you are right now. But, sometimes I think it’s really important to have something to look forward to when you get in a funk. I’m not entirely sure any of this made sense.

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