Today is my prep day for the mother of the bride roll. I need to wash whites, lay everything I’m taking out on the bed, pack the suitcase, nag him about getting his stuff out so I can approve, iron and micro-manage. These situations always cause me to go into Helen mode. I know it, I try to be gentle – I don’t make lists very often so I have to keep it all in the noggin’ and that is very stressful…so I react to things not of my liking..rather than my normal personality trait of keeping it all inside until something really pisses me off, then blow. Have only really done that a few times in my life..but it ain’t pretty.

I spent the evening last night at the computer desk, adding songs to my ipod and doing the business side of life..paying bills, making sure everything is taken care of because I am going to be gone for 5 days. I slapped on the ear phones – not the ear buds which hurt my ears – and rocked out to some of my favorite songs. Don’t know why I don’t do that everyday…it puts me in a much better mode..plus I don’t have to listen to the dialog and music from the shows “he” is watching on TV…CrAzY!!

If my wonderful house sitter weren’t coming, I’d be tempted to break with tradition and leave it lived in. I always totally clean the house before we go anywhere…I learned it and I taught it…I used to joke it was in case I came home in a body bag, I didn’t want people coming here and thinking I was a slob…Learning to stop being a people pleaser and caring what everybody thinks is something I’m working on in therapy…

So…I’m off now to do some “stuff”…think I’ll clip on the IPOD shuffle and totally enjoy may day..Billy laying beside the computer on the computer desk also reminds me that I need to bathe at some point.

Until next time…..