can do for you. I’m not expecting perfection or total clarity, but I knew that my thought processes were messed up…so I decided to try therapy. At the 6 month mark, I would say I’ve worked thru the first layer of the disfunction. I tried to break thru some of the brick walls with just Oprah, a couple of books and an incredible amount of grit. I don’t believe it would have been possible for me to have gotten where I am at this moment without help. One thing that I don’t understand yet is: How do you know there is another side; that abuse, narcissism, and downright craziness are the not the norm. How does one realize that it is possible to feel better and not just grovel in the filth of your psychic nest?
…then there is suicide. Suicide as an answer to….. right to commit suicide? Does everyone think about suicide at some point in their life? Is suicide okay for the terminally ill but not the terminally depressed?
When I think of suicide now and further down the list, succumbing (is that a word) to the pull of suicide, I realize the thought process is different and probably not normal. I had a talk one time with a good friend who said she thought suicidal thoughts, when you were in the belly of depression, were like opening the security valve…an out…you know that there is a way to stop the pain when you can’t take it anymore. I don’t believe that suicidal thought is normal. I will say that the security valve option did cross my mind. Despair is despair.
One day on my way home from therapy, it hit me and nearly brought tears to my eyes…suicide is not NORMAL…do not read more into that statement than what is written. I hold true and fast to the thought …if someone truly must escape the pain, they have every right to do so…I’ve more than once had to bite my tongue while listening to some sactimonious, close minded individual holding court as to the ethical, moral and religious reason that this mentally ill, weak person shouldn’t have done it and lamenting the fact that they just can’t understand why someone would do it.
Don’t you dare judge….
Until next time….