It’s a story about cell division….

While I was pacing for the minute or less it takes my Tassimo to flush thru my first cup of coffee, I remembered about my “SO, THERE” thoughts I had about cell division when I was just a child. This is the type of stuff I’m talking about with therapy and clarity. This stuff just pops into my head now that I’ve cleared away the first level of crap – thoughts are able to squeeze thru into my conscious mind…anyway…I can, now, vividly remember when I first heard about cell division in the body…my childhood coping mechanism with my mother was…cells, mom, the cells renew themselves so today, I’m not the same as when you had me…inside I was screaming – I’m not yours anymore I have different cells. When I remembered that this morning, I stopped to give it a moment…As a child, I was coping and trying to distance myself from that woman. I will paraphrase @Tracy this morning, don’t need to comment, just needed to get that out – that is the therapy of blogging for me.

I have no idea what time “he” got up this morning, but I slept until around the 10 o’ clock hour…I have not done that in months…I have been getting up around 7 every morning whether I need to or not…my work day bell ringing time is 6 so I always feel I’m sleeping in when I can make it to 7. I don’t like to sleep this late anymore…I want to get up at ’em and not waste a minute of a precious day off. He’s over putting a few pieces of insulation in the rental house basement and caulking the shower…our new tenants want to start moving a few things in tomorrow…we want it to be ready for them…brand spankin’ clean and ready to go.

In case you city folk don’t know it…It’s fall. The corn and beans are turning yellow – some fields are nearly all yellow…it’s 56 degrees outside and it is sprinkling…one of those depressing overcast, rainy days. I”m not sure why this is important because I probably would spend the day inside even if it were sunny. That is one of the things I”m trying to get back to…take it outside and feel the wind blow on your face and feel the sun warm your skin and just feel. I”m not to a point yet where I can roll the windows down and crank up the radio and fly down the highway just at peace with myself. That is my goal.

Upward and Onward.

Until next time….

One thought on “It’s a story about cell division….

  1. I’m glad you are blogging again.  Sometimes a therapeutic blogs helps even those who read it.  Either by understanding our friends better or seeing something in ourselves.It is cold and damp here.  We have been noticing the yellowing fields.  I don’t know if you were in the mall at all when you were here – you did drive by it – but on one side of the mall there is a farmers field.  I think this year it has soybeans.  My favorite field is oats but we don’t see too many oat fields around here anymore.I am glad you are working on healing. 

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