We are going to Kate’s house in Ohio for Easter…I told mom that we were going and she needed to go to Aunt Frances’ house while we are gone…she decided she would have Dana take her on the Wed before…like the 6th…she called me last night at work a little after 2300 and asked me to get her $200 cash Monday because she was going to need it when she went to Des Moines..she couldn’t quite remember when it was…I told her that we had over a week and I would get her money. Today “he” was working on the boat in her basement garage and she yelled at him…asked him to take her to Aunt France’s house today because Dana is sick..but she had to get her meds etc…he agreed to do this…He is a saint. So he took her to Des Moines and got her adjusted at Aunt France’s house..as adjusted as anyone can be in that situation. Ahhhhh all is well.
2200 hours tonight (Monday which is the same day he took her) she calls to say she can’t find her meds…okay..she’s right – he missed getting them out of the car when he dropped her off…she asked if we were planning to go to Des Moines this week…I said, well, no we are working…but told her somehow we would get her meds up to her…she said…..well either that or come get me and take me home…I said..Why would you want us to do that…she said Aunt Frances was making her nervous and she didn’t want to be up there for 10 days. I told her that it was no one’s fault but her own..she solely made the decision to go up early and we wouldn’t be bringing her back and then turn around and drive her back to Des Moines next week….I wanted to scream at her that out of the goodness of his heart, he took her to Des Moines today and spent an enormous amount of time chauffering her around when he wanted to be doing something productive and had his own agenda for the day.
You know, (rhetorical) I lived in a vaccum for so long wondering what was wrong with me…why did I have such issues with my mother..why couldn’t I just get along..this is not the way you should treat or feel about your mother…the times I made an effort to talk to her and see if we could work something out and she always said she didn’t know what she was doing wrong…ya, uh huh…not until my dad died, and therapy started and I did a lot of soul searching did I realize I just had a bad relationship with her and nothing was going to make it better. She was the adult and I shouldn’t have had to take care of her…anyway…my girls would really like me to put all of this behind me and not take her personally…it’s hard…I know this is what I should do…but the distrustfulness and pain and anger are very, very deep. I’m better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I am today…and that folks, is what it is all about….Onward and upward….
Until next time…..
@skanickadee – you absolutely did not offend me with your comment…it is actually very, very nice to know that there are some good mother/daughter stories out there!!
I so understand what you are feeling. And you are right; the only thing we can do is recognize that mom is the problem, and that we can only try to deal with it on a day to day basis. ((((Hugz))))
Yes – I’m a big believer in onward and upward
I’m sorry it is so bad with your mom. I hope I didn’t offend you by anything I wrote yesterday???
You are an amazing woman!!!!