If you analyze it, you have to name it!

Does everyone do it or am I just a professional ruminator? and by ruminator, I mean continuously mulling it over in my mind until 1) I am able to name it; or 2) my subject matter morphs into another subject entirely…which gives me the opportunity to compulsively focus on IT.  While brooding about my anxiety tonight while trying to cycle my breathing with his (but not to the earth shattering pitch), I fell upon the idea that perhaps I’m not suffering full blown anxiety, I just can’t shut my mind off which leads me to be anxious because I really do need to go to sleep and I just can’t!  I also realized that my over analyzing does have an end…and that finalé occurs when I can label the mental flapping, stick it in the right drawer and then move on.

With this little morsel of information, I realized that I have to analyze or name nearly everything that meanders through my mind during a 24 hour period.  I pigeon hole, pigeon hole, pigeon hole everything once I can categorize and label it!  Few things are accepted at face value, few things can just be put to the side…they must be analyzed ad nauseam.

Sunday morning news shows are a great way to pick up more fodder to think about.  During a two week period, I spent considerable amounts of brain cells thinking about politics, immigration, the racial discord with police and the release of the CIA report.  I watch/see/hear about these threats to America and my attitudes and opinions volley back and forth.  This past Sunday, I was able to finally sit down and share a conversation with him…I was able to firmly name where I stood on the issues and now I have moved on.  I probably should just go back to bed and try to go to sleep now that I’ve gotten this all down in black and white . #&(!# …and I think that is exactly what I’m going to do.  So….

Until next time….

There is a reason….

I believe the reason is:

Humans need some control in their lives.  I believe those over their heads in their situation and have no control over things in their own life, eventually develop a bully personality, pick on others and talk really loud.  I normally think of the “bully” as a child on the playground…and I think many times that is where it starts.  You know the loud mouth guy who stands around in a group with his buddys…has a beer in his hand, talks loud, only knows one describing words which is the f-word and can take down women, gays, hispanics and african-americans in one sentence.  He’s a jerk, he’s a bully and I believe this personality comes from years of not having any control.  Introduce any loud mouth politician or right wing radical or bigot and you have found a bully who has no real control in his life and gets his perceived power by telling others what they are and are not going to do in their personal life.  How much proof is needed…the conservative congressman whose spiel is control rhetoric over everyone else but can’t keep the “sports car” zipped in it’s garage.  He has no self control and he doesn’t think he needs it because he really believes that he can control everyone else with this perceived power.   When 2 or more bullys gather, you find the root of what I call evil …. you may call it politics.  Bullying is not just an ugly male trait…but I think women do it differently.  One huge advantage women have is as long as men have the unsecured “sports car”, women have the power to manipulate the garage.

I actually have to smile when someone tries to take me out with damning written rhetoric or the booming voice…no self control, no possible negotiating, just bad manners.  That’s how I know they don’t actually have any control.

Until next time….