Over the last couple years, I have worn my RBG dissent collar necklace with pride and honor. Occasionally someone would recognize the design and ask about it….but I wore it for me. Quietly honoring RBG and what she represented. I also wore it for the same reason she wore her dissent collar to channel my disapproval and disappointment of the “leadership” in the United States.
Today I’m struggling emotionally to celebrate her life the way she deserves to be remembered all the while mourning my (our) loss.
For this post, I copied the wise words of another strong woman who I love and respect.
Let’s remember to dream today. Even in the midst of blessing Ruth Bader Ginsburg in her freedom form, honoring her longevity, strength, tenacity and intelligence, we lift ourselves up and dream. What a life of service she has lived… Commitment, endurance, and on and on and on. #StrongWomyn #ruthbaderginsburg …thank you, Rev Erin for the healing words.
Thank you for your service and commitment to us, Justice Ginsberg.
He and I are binge watching The West Wing (1999-2006)…we chose a perfect time to immerse ourselves into the lives of the West Wing during the Josiah Bartlett administration. Filled with a sense of loss of the fictional energy, intelligence and kindness represented while also feeling hope that someday we will recover from the last 4 years of this current putrid president.
Some of my very favorite scenes from the West Wing are Jeb and his cronies making their way down the covered pavilion, the West colonnade of the White House. Here’s a little history of how that picturesque walkway came to be in real life.
“The open columned walkway along the West Wing gallery and across the east side of the body of the West Wing provides a picturesque backdrop for events held in the Rose Garden, but it also requires the president and his staff to walk out in the weather to get back and forth between the West Wing and the Residence. Jackie Kennedy inquired about enclosing it as the East Wing colonnade is so that John Kennedy wouldn’t have to walk outside in his robe after a swim in the White House pool (now the Press Briefing Room). But doors were cut through the gymnasium and flower shop (now the Press Corps Offices) instead”.
Some images I pulled off the internet…some with energy and kindness……….
Chuck Todd now hosts a Meet the Press daily show on MSNBC (MTP Daily). I really like Chuck Todd because he is not afraid to ask the difficult questions to the politicians….and during this chapter of my life, I find myself buried in the political BS. I tend to lean toward the left in my opinions but I try to listen with an open mind to the rhetoric from the conservative side…and I still lean to the left. Keeping my head about me makes me feel like a grown up.
Today while watching the talking heads – all men – I found myself totally focused on the suit and tie outfits….or uniforms, if you will. I became so focused on looking at suit coats, shirts and ties that I was losing focus on what the guest politicians were yammering about. Who was sitting around one day and thought…you know what would look good…wearing a starched shirt fastened tightly around the throat with a button to enhance Jowels then let’s wrap a piece of cloth around the neck with a knot at the Adam’s apple. I don’t dislike the look….sometimes I just wish the cloth wrapped around the neck was a lot tighter. The look was probably fashioned by the same person that decided to put 4 inch spikes on the bottom heel of women’s shoes….
In case you aren’t familiar with the details of politics in this country….let me sum it up for you! We are screwed!
One of those political pundits tweeted that preparing for the republican debate on Thursday is like preparing for a NASCAR race when you know one driver will be drunk. (Paraphrased). I laughed out loud when I heard it on Meet the Press…then giggled again when it appeared on Face the Nation. I will not say that I support Donald Trump but a I will say I’m not as afraid of him as I am Scott walker! Of course (he is tired of hearing me say) that I won’t get to hear anything else vital to feed my Sunday political appetite because the Kansas City station must only air the first half of Face the Nation because they have to feature the talking head “personalities”? Of the local talking heads and their fluff. I think I’m going to have to attack them on social media to calm my anger. SHOCK!
I will also paraphrase the best explanation I’ve received about mentally dealing with my dysfunctional childhood. I received this bit of wisdom from a friend of 30 years. She and I worked together for 2 years back in the 80s and lost touch for several years until we found each other on Facebook and have grown our mutual love and respect for each other. She suggested last night that one of the reasons I continue to occasionally regurgitate my childhood maternal relationship is because I keep asking why. I’m searching for the WHY for my upbringing. Why would a mother treat a child the way my mother treated me. WOW! I’m feeling confident that I’ve talked and worked my way thru it even as far as forgiving her….but, the WHY is always there. I’m never going to know why! I’ve officially made it over another hill! …..and now.
Does everyone do it or am I just a professional ruminator? and by ruminator, I mean continuously mulling it over in my mind until 1) I am able to name it; or 2) my subject matter morphs into another subject entirely…which gives me the opportunity to compulsively focus on IT. While brooding about my anxiety tonight while trying to cycle my breathing with his (but not to the earth shattering pitch), I fell upon the idea that perhaps I’m not suffering full blown anxiety, I just can’t shut my mind off which leads me to be anxious because I really do need to go to sleep and I just can’t! I also realized that my over analyzing does have an end…and that finalé occurs when I can label the mental flapping, stick it in the right drawer and then move on.
With this little morsel of information, I realized that I have to analyze or name nearly everything that meanders through my mind during a 24 hour period. I pigeon hole, pigeon hole, pigeon hole everything once I can categorize and label it! Few things are accepted at face value, few things can just be put to the side…they must be analyzed ad nauseam.
Sunday morning news shows are a great way to pick up more fodder to think about. During a two week period, I spent considerable amounts of brain cells thinking about politics, immigration, the racial discord with police and the release of the CIA report. I watch/see/hear about these threats to America and my attitudes and opinions volley back and forth. This past Sunday, I was able to finally sit down and share a conversation with him…I was able to firmly name where I stood on the issues and now I have moved on. I probably should just go back to bed and try to go to sleep now that I’ve gotten this all down in black and white . #&(!# …and I think that is exactly what I’m going to do. So….
Humans need some control in their lives. I believe those over their heads in their situation and have no control over things in their own life, eventually develop a bully personality, pick on others and talk really loud. I normally think of the “bully” as a child on the playground…and I think many times that is where it starts. You know the loud mouth guy who stands around in a group with his buddys…has a beer in his hand, talks loud, only knows one describing words which is the f-word and can take down women, gays, hispanics and african-americans in one sentence. He’s a jerk, he’s a bully and I believe this personality comes from years of not having any control. Introduce any loud mouth politician or right wing radical or bigot and you have found a bully who has no real control in his life and gets his perceived power by telling others what they are and are not going to do in their personal life. How much proof is needed…the conservative congressman whose spiel is control rhetoric over everyone else but can’t keep the “sports car” zipped in it’s garage. He has no self control and he doesn’t think he needs it because he really believes that he can control everyone else with this perceived power. When 2 or more bullys gather, you find the root of what I call evil …. you may call it politics. Bullying is not just an ugly male trait…but I think women do it differently. One huge advantage women have is as long as men have the unsecured “sports car”, women have the power to manipulate the garage.
I actually have to smile when someone tries to take me out with damning written rhetoric or the booming voice…no self control, no possible negotiating, just bad manners. That’s how I know they don’t actually have any control.
I changed channels on the remote tonight – I’ve been pretty much focused on the political news for a week. CNN and NPR have filled any quiet times that I normally have…I couldn’t seem to get enough of all of this political talk. But now I’m just pissed off… Most of this totally negative emotion overtook me when I heard one of those idiot newspeople spewing about Sarah Palin’s pro-life stance is especially proven by the number of children she has and one of them has downs syndrome. WTF people. I listened, stunned, trying to figure out if he was saying…had she been pro-choice – she would have aborted this down syndrome child…well, of course – isn’t that what pro-choice people always do…or was he saying that this down syndrome child was a dirty little secret and bless Sarah’s heart – she had this child anyway…is he inferring that down’s syndrome children are somehow not human beings and shouldn’t have a place in our society….and….I don’t think that because she has 5 children…that makes her a viable vice presidential candidate…do we normally lament over a man being the father of five children?…in fact, can you ever imagine that a male candidate’s down syndrome child would be brought up as an indication of what a wonderful vice president he would be.
……do the males in our society really think that we need to name a token woman for the women to support – do you really think that “they” think that we will throw our support on McCain because he has thrown a woman into the mix to calm and satisfy us ditsy, hyper women. I find this truly appalling…Sarah Palin may be one hell of a role model, woman, politician, city council person, mayor and governor of Alaska but she calls herself just a regular hocky mom. Isn’t that just sweet. Well, I don’t want a regular old hocky mom making the decisions for the country…even if she is a card carrying member of the NRA and a hunter and fisher woman…that is unless she gets some political experience …. and these are labels she is wearing as a badge that she has the experience to be the leader of this great nation.
..and while I’m on it….why does the new media have to continue reminding us and stirring up racial relations by their constant mentioning Barack is an african-american. Is there anyone out there who hasn’t figured it out…I know Barack is black and by golley, I know that Sarah Palin is probably part eskimo and I always get a lump in my throat when I hear that John McCain was a prisoner of war and 8 years ago, I thought George W was an arrogant fool, Bill Clinton got some whoopee in the white house and got caught – John Kennedy (God rest his soul) probably got whoopee in the white house too but didn’t get caught, does this stuff really matter or are we this superficial – don’t we really want to know what the candidates have to say…how they address the issues – how they are going to fix things – I don’t care how much they pay for shoes or for that matter how many houses they own…I want to know what they are going to do to make my American Dream more achievable.
Everyone back to work today..rah rah. My first night back was Sunday night which is actually Memorial Day for the overnight shift…ie….holiday pay. Several places in Iowa were hit with horrendous storms Sunday night. One small town of about 2000 was nearly wiped off the map. It was so bad that our governor aka sweaty Chetty as I unaffectionetly call him, declared a couple of counties disaster areas 1) before the media had even had a chance to sensationlize; and 2) so that Washington would send help and loans….. ::cough cough:: uh huh…
It really pisses me off when the politicians stand in line in front of the podium with their polos or with their sleeves rolled up on their business shirts and talk about the tragedy. If they really give a damn, they need to get in there and do some grunt work or deliver some bucks…that’s what the victim needs…not lip service…thank God for neighbors and the Red Cross….
….and Thank you, God, for the men and women fighting for our country and for our freedoms…the freedom for me to say what I really think!!