I am pretty confident that there is something in my subconscious I’m supposed to be grasping this week. During my morning silence sitting at the kitchen table with my IPad, my phone, my coffee cup and my cat I glance out the door when I see movement, i realize that basically I SEE the same picture each time but my unfocused thoughts seem to be thrown into a box…..like Jameson’s toy box.
I notice the older couple with their white poodle every morning walking by on the walking trail and wonder if I would recognize if they stopped walking by. I think it would be more like…hmmmm…haven’t seen them walk by for awhile….wonder if they are okay…when was the last time I saw them…..
Before retirement, I was busy all of the time. I realize now that I was living life on the surface and did not spend any amount of time listening to myself….going inside in peace and quiet to figure out what I REALLY thought about things. I probably let my intuition guide me but I wasn’t aware that it was my intuition….I just thought I had a rapid fire brain that would guide my thoughts while on the fly.
It seems that now I’m listening to myself, I think things through, I seldom make decisions impulsively and I live a reasonably peaceful life until someone else stirs the air around me. That’s where this nagging subconscious air is stirring. What am I supposed to be hearing….I am unsettled….I’m doing and I’ve done a lot of personal searching to find this contentment but I feel I’m starting to realize I need to be doing something for humanity. I guess I will have to keep listening….it will float it and nudge me when it lands on my shoulder.
Until next time…..
To me, that’s what meditation is: listening hard.