My blogger friend, CIndy came into my life…somehow. I’m not even sure how we found each other….but she is trying to tame her demons and get her life back…she uses her blog the way I do…to get it out…her bogs are sometimes dark, sometimes painful…but, I see progress in the last year from despondent to very strong! She often sends me down my rabbit hole to “contemplate”.
This morning she commented on my blog of a couple days ago about projecting on to others. In a nut shell she said. We all do it…how do we not do it. It’s normal, yet unhealthy. THANK….YOU….Cindy!
I’ve been so busy, busy, busy analyzing the things I don’t particularly like about myself that sometimes I fail to see the big picture. This big picture is the part I need to continue the project. My daughter frequently tells me that I cannot control other people…and that negativity toward me really has nothing to do with me but, in fact, is the reaction to the fermenting trash in their own life. Not her exact words…mine. There are certain people in my life who will say things to me that hurt my feelings, make me question myself (what did I do to bring that out), totally piss me off to the point I want to verbally take them out or just say F you and shoot them on a rocket launcher out of my life. I’m learning that their negativity is not my deal…it is their inner garbage.
How many times…I’ll answer…..too numerous to count…I’ve asked a question or made a comment to Him and he turns and shoots me in the foot. My immediate feeling is WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? When the possible correct responsive feeling should be…wow, I hit a hidden nerve, I hope he figures this out. Or how many times I’ve been discussing something with a daughter and she answers me with an opinion to fix my problem while obviously not listening to my question. I’ve stopped and thought, did she even hear what I said. Instead of wow, my question surfaced an inner struggle that she is projecting on me. So, yes….we all do it! We project and think we are reading someone’s mind or empathizing with someone and the only thing we really know is our stuff based on our stuff.
I hope that little inner contemplation makes sense to someone other than me.
Until next time…
“The only thing we know is our own stuff based on our own stuff”…OMG there has never been a more true statement!!! I’ve always said basically that when talking about religion. And kind of believed it on some light surface level about everything else….but I’m kind of an arm chair shrink and most of the time go way deeper remotely needed and over think stuff. While really, THAT is all it is. That’s it! Thank you!
And maybe not i’ll stop bugging my husband about things I just “know” he MUST be thinking instead of just believing him when he says it never even occurred to him. I do it with my kids too…think I know what they’re thinking because it’s what I would be thinking….Geeze. I love light bulb moments. ❤
yep. I’m starting to work on it! Good luck to us all. AND…I’m an armchair shrink too.
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Thank you. We humans sure are annoying sometimes.
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