It seems wrong to think and say

I just wish they would pass on.  I’ve been through this a few times in my life…willing someone I love to die.  It used to be something I would never say out loud..but experience has taught me there are worse things than dying.  In the last few months I have heard those words from several people including hospice caretakers.

My mother in law has been living with dementia for several years…2 of her 4 kids attempted to take care of her, but asher behaviors changed with the progress of the disease, it just became impossible so she was placed in a nursing home in the loss of memory unit.  Her quality of life became very negative…the last time we visited 3 weeks ago, I thought she had a spark of recognition when we walked into the room but that quickly faded.  Now she is in hospice. The son and daughter in law closest in distance have made 3 trips because the hospice nurse thought it would be any time.  One by one family is making their way to see her for the last time…

The sweetest story that pulled my heart strings today was an adult granddaughter visiting and singing to her You Are My Sunshine.  This is a song she used to sing to her grandchildren.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around why some of us linger on earth way past our “obvious” time and others are taken quickly and/or at a young age.  Such a mystery is life!

Until next time…..

5 thoughts on “It seems wrong to think and say

  1. When my mom died,, my dad ran into a former co worker who expressed his condolences and then said ‘there are worse things than death. His wife had been where you mother in law is for years. I can’t imagine the sadness. There ARE worse things than death. I do not think that is a selfish thought or that anyone should feel guilty. After all, we’d feel the same if it was us. I am sorry that you’re having to watch this. My thoughts are with you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I know it’s horrible. I have stopped feeling guilty for having those thoughts because then I find myself pretending that I am not thinking them. I am done pretending. Sometimes life sucks and watching someone you love go way downhill hurts like crazy. Sorry things are sucking right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have felt sao guilty iin my life for thinks those thoughts. Its that niggling fear that maybe my motives are selfish OE that somehow just by thinking iit I will somehow cause it to happen. Even about pets. 😦
    I am sorry about your in-laws. So hard to go through.


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