My dad died 15 years ago yesterday. Years past I have dedicated my thoughts to grieving for him all day….during the years that I worked the day shift, I would be up early enough to really get into it and cry during that hour that he died. I remember one year I relieved Amanda from the midnight shift and she sat with me and gave me hugs knowing how difficult it was. When I woke up yesterday morning, I chose not to go there. My thought process led me to the fact that I didn’t need to remember the grief and sink in to that lonely depression that January 2nd usually brings me. I didn’t mention to him that my dad died 15 years ago today. I didn’t send messages to the kids reminding them. I decided that I celebrate my dad every day throughout the year….I remember this, I remember that…he is never far from my memory.
You know what? It was just fine. Every now and then I remembered but I thought about it and moved on. Today I feel healthier for not sending my body into the anxiety of once again agaonizing the day of his death. I made the choice to celebrate him the way I want to remember him…..in love.
Until next time…..