I’m pretty deep in thought today. I’ve found myself thinking a lot about life in the last week and a half. he was up a good part of the night because he had too many naps yesterday, consequently he’s been in bed most of the morning which gives me a lot of quiet time to think. I watched about a half hour of Y & R but got totally disgusted. I read a few chapters in a book but couldn’t keep my mind on it. I’ve been up and down the stairs thinking I would bring my Santa Clause collection up but just can’t get there…too much work?!?!
Since my kidney cancer diagnosis in March and his heart attack almost two weeks ago, I’ve been trying to rationalize why these things happen to “good” people. I can’t seem to get over the feeling that these health issues….ours…and the other good people we know…has to have happened because…..
We have a history of not taking good care of ourselves when we were younger. We smoked, we were overweight, we ate sugar, we didn’t exercise. There are times in our lives when we did all of those things but eating healthy and doing cardio only lasted as long as the current trend lasted in our minds. We both had stress…doesn’t everyone? I stuffed it and he vocalized it. We both had jobs that required shift work so we constantly had to adapt to revolving sleeping habits. I hope it isn’t karma because we have tried…failed occasionally….but tried to be kind and generous people.
….and then there are our friends who are struggling with health issues of their own. Some will get a second chance and some won’t. I’ve blamed genetics but our known family health history doesn’t jive. As Jenny said after His heart attack…she always thought I would be the one with heart trouble and he would get cancer.
No idea….just thoughts running around my mind on this overcast, quiet day. If you know the answer, please clue me in!
Until next time….
Ninasusan 
I believe it’s mostly gene pool type stuff that makes us prone to whatever. I have known people that smoked until they were 90 and did not die of cancer..instead it was COPD. I have known people that suffered with arthritis, but never much cared for sugary stuff (the cause of inflammation). I have known people that have consumed in heavy doses bad fats and never had a heart attack attack or stroke. By definition, these people did not take care of themselves.
I think some of it is environmental too. Radon is a big cancer causer in Iowa. We drink and eat from plastics daily. Even tin cans are lined with it. We dose ourselves with the pharmaceuticals that did not exist 30 years ago. Vaccines are full of mercury and other adjuvants. It all adds up to a very bad recipe.
It’s what we don’t know that kills us.
71 years is the average life span. When my Mom was 58, she had 13 years left. What could she have done had she known? Anything? Probably not.
We are mortals. We will not live forever in these bodies. They are broken. This is not an accident. They were broken the day we were born and that’s when they started to die. I could tell you why this is, but you would not like it. Suffice it to say, everyone’s gene pool is corrupted in some way. We all will die.
I read the obits pretty regularly. It amazes me how many people younger than me are dying daily. I sometimes wonder if the average lifespan is getting shorter. Whatever. If you are in your 50’s and you can find a way to retire, get out now. We really just never know how long we have here. Spend your money. Enjoy. Time is short. Let your kids make their own.
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My dad once said it’s always the stuff we Don’t worry about that happens. I have no answers, but I agree with him. That’s the way it seems to go. We have histories, heart in mine, cancer in his. So i fully expect it to happen the other way around, even as I am always paranoid about my heart and paranoid about his cancer risk. Doesn’t sound like it makes sense does it? Or, well a tree could fall on us too. It’s a lot to think about, but in the end, I just don’t believe we can really do anything about it. I think the best you can do is try to stay strong so that when the shoe drops, you can maybe heal better, faster. But since we just don’t know what lies ahead, we have to try not to take for granted the days we’re granted. So much makes no sense, a person never smoked, did everything right, lung cancer. my aunt is 90, smokes and drinks like mad, lives on tv dinners and has lived a very hard and stressful life, yet she’s, healthy as a horse. Idk, I’m reminded of that scene in Grumpier Old Men…..You know the one I’m talking about? That.
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Such a good point….
My dad once said it’s always the stuff we Don’t worry about that happens
That is so true! Thanks for posting your thoughts!
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NinaSusan; I guess we all time to time ask these questions to ourselves. the reality is that life is fragile, especially as we age. Aging is a natural thing and as we age the risk of disease increase. it is true that we all can start taking better care of ourselves; certainly eating healthy and exercising as well as a positive outlook to life and good medical care are all important. As per genetics, this is one thing we cannot control all the time, but you have a made a good point; some of us will be hit harder than the others in terms of genetic-basis of diseases. heart disease and cancer are among the most common diseases; I believe it is also related to our aging population – we live longer now, albeit with more affected by diseases. It is good that we have better health care now that makes us live longer and treat our diseases better. I guess it is a take between a relatively shorter life span and quality of life and longer life with chronic health conditions. I think I would like to emphasize that we all are going thru similar phases, albeit perhaps at different stages in our lives. best wishes
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Very good point! Thanks for sharing!
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I have to agree with MB, as always. The only thing that gets me through is believing that 99% of it is that it just is. Luck.of draw, no more,no less.
Never why me, but why not me.
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I think it is a combination of not taking care of ourselves, genetic defects, bad stuff in the environment, but mostly random bad luck. You can’t change what you did in the past so it is no use worrying about it. Go forward, do the best you can, have a positive attitude and don’t worry. Worry is totally useless and uses up minutes, hours and days and does nothing for you.
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