I’m up in the middle of the night because my mind cannot shut down.  My mind cannot stop asking why… I want to remember the last time I heard his voice…the last time I heard him say women should not be allowed in Fantasy Football…the last time I heard his little laugh while debating politics or any other polar opposite opinions…always knowing that when he was on the street, the dirtbag should never try to run from our streak of lightening.  This is totally messed up…totally freeking messed up!  Risking life every day…